NFL Lockout

Ed. note: This new column is about sports and the law. You can read the introductory installment here.

Do you remember what you wrote on your law school application essay? I do. Since I knew (and know) next-to-nothing about the law, I chose to focus the theme of my essay on issues of justice and how my childhood and young adulthood had been shaped by a sort of visceral response to injustice that practically forced my hand. That literally compelled me to learn more about the law so that I could fight injustice like some fey Batman, ridding the world of evil. I must have spent days puzzling over what in my life’s experience could be offered up as proof of my worthiness to study the law. Truthfully, I couldn’t think of a single thing in my childhood that was weighty enough for this most holy of callings. A midwestern, middle class, middle-of-the-pack upbringing had left me woefully unprepared for this self-selected mission.

And so it was that a white kid from Kansas decided to say that he was drawn to the law because of the Spike Lee joint, Do the Right Thing. I might have even mentioned that I cried when Radio Raheem was murdered by New York City cops. That the feeling I had while watching a movie as a child was a clarion call to justice. That the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards my admittance to a T14 law school.

This is all to say that several years from now, some idiot very much like your humble correspondent might mention the injustice of the Seattle Seahawks victory Monday over the Green Bay Packers as the moment when he decided to go to law school.

Let’s talk sports, referees, and four-fingered rings that say LOVE and HATE.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Sports Law, Spaw, Lorts: Ed Hochuli Edition”

Touchdown Biglaw!

* New York is considering allowing nonlawyer ownership of equity in law firms. If that somehow means we’ll see less Jacoby & Meyers commercials on television, then I’m definitely all for it. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Football’s labor lockout legal fees: which Biglaw firms scored huge touchdowns thanks to their collective bargaining work? The three top billers included Latham, Dewey & LeBoeuf, and Patton Boggs. [Am Law Daily]

* The sanctions for filing a 9/11 conspiracy claim cost $15K, but forever being remembered as the lawyers who got benchslapped for drafting “a product of cynical delusion and fantasy” is priceless. [Reuters]

* Jared Loughner is still incompetent to stand trial, and he’ll remain in the loony bin for another four months. You know what that means? Time to make this kid swallow some more pills. [Arizona Republic]

* A panel of law professors over at Harvard thinks that while law schools have problems, but they’re certainly not in crisis mode yet. Not yet? You hear that Team Strauss/Anziska? Needs moar lawsuits! [Harvard Crimson]

* Well, that was a short-lived victory. Heather Peters, the former lawyer who beat Honda in small claims court, is preparing to do battle with the car company in Superior Court. [Los Angeles Times]

* Dominique Strauss-Kahn will go to Rikers for three or four years just to prove his point. [CNN]

* A South Carolina jail is being investigated by the Justice Department for allowing its inmates to read only the Bible. Instead of a joke, how about you goofballs learn something and read this article that Christopher Hitchens wrote about the King James version of the not-quite-great book. [Charleston Post and Courier]

* Hide yo kilos, hide yo weed. Cause they searching errbody. [Los Angeles Times]

* Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is not a fan of that state’s gay gross-up. “More like gross-out” he muttered, before kicking a teacher on food stamps. [Washington Post]

* Everything you didn’t know you wanted to know but were afraid you forgot to ask about the NFL lockout ruling from yesterday. [SI.com]

* King & Spalding continues to burnish its brand in the gay community through its work with the Houston Astros. ¿LOL Que? [Am Law Daily]

* “Dougie” rapper now movin’ like Bernie. Sorry… I had to. [NPR]


Earlier this evening, U.S. District Judge Susan Richard Nelson (D. Minn.) ordered an end to the NFL lockout. Football is back on! Maybe! Or not! Not at all? Who knows?!?!?!

Yes, Judge Nelson ordered an end to the lockout today. Watching ESPN is like a trainwreck for those who crave certainty in their news reports. The NFL has already said it will appeal and seek a stay of Judge Nelson’s ruling.

If a stay is granted, well… we’re back to the lockout status quo. If a stay is not granted, then all hell will break loose and the NFL will be broken up into a bunch of Baby Bells? I think? I think that’s the implication of all the antitrust stuff that’s floating around?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Our Long National Football Nightmare Is Not Over, But Maybe?”

Honestly, I don’t understand why people hate jury duty so much. What’s the big deal? You don’t have to go to work. You can sit down and read stuff on your iPad or play Angry Birds. Then you go home. How is this a hardship to be avoided at all costs?

And if you are extremely lucky, you get to be a part of the justice system. What kind of fairweather citizen is too busy to participate in justice?

Well, not everybody appreciates the awesome responsibility of jury duty. Today we’ve got two stories of people trying to shirk their civic responsibilities — unsuccessfully…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “How (Not) To Get Out of Jury Duty”

David Doty

Since Japan is about to sink, drown, or blow up, you might have missed the fact that 32 or so billionaires officially can’t figure out how to share profits with a few hundred millionaires. That’s right, the National Football League — the most successful sports association ever — is in a stage of lockout. The owners and the players can’t agree, and now both sides have lawyered up and are heading to court.

The NFL owners have locked out the players, and the players have asked for an injunction preventing the lockout. Welcome to Brady v. NFL.

Naturally, I’m on the side of the marginally greedy, financially illiterate players over the unimaginably greedy, financially irresponsible owners. Bill Simmons perfectly captures the real core of this fight that the owners are picking with their employees.

And there are all kinds of funky legal issues swirling around the case: the player’s union “sham” decertification, the NFL’s T.V. revenue war chest they should have been sharing with the players all along, and enough Sherman Antitrust Act angles to fill a casebook.

And there’s legal star power: as we mentioned this morning, David Boies has joined the fight on the side of money grubbing owners who would happily sacrifice the long term health of their employees for some more short term profits.

But this morning we should focus on the man who could be “the Decider,” U.S. District Judge David Doty. The man has such a history of frustrating the NFL owner/oligarchs that simply getting the case into his courtroom could force the owners back into negotiating in good faith. We should know more about this guy.

Remember, the 1994 Major League Baseball strike was settled by a judge — and her name is Sonia Sotomayor — only she’s got a better title now. Just saying….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “U.S. District Court Judge David S. Doty: The Man Who Holds Football By The Balls”