Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 03.14.13

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* Happy Pi Day from Sasha Volokh! [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Tiffany’s sued Costco for trademark violations because Tiffany’s is afraid someone walked into Costco and thought, “$20 Tiffany’s engagement ring? AWESOME!” [Law of Fashion]

* Pro se litigants have finally killed Virginia’s sodomy statute. [The CockleBur]

* UChilawgo provides a visual representation of what happens when you criticize Brian Leiter on the Internet. [UChilawgo]

* Kelly Mathis, a Jacksonville attorney, got arrested for allegedly running a $300 million illegal gambling operation. And yet Nova Southeastern is able to make bank gambling that their students will find jobs with their degree. [Tampa Bay Times]

* If you’re looking for someone else to foot the tab for law school, the folks at Best Criminal Justice have a helpful list. [Best Criminal Justice]

* Law and the Multiverse knows the way to my heart: an analysis of the Futurama “Future Stock,” featuring my all-time favorite Futurama character, “80s Guy.” Click through to see “80s Guy” doing the The Safety Dance on a loop. [Law and the Multiverse]

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Non-Sequiturs: 03.13.13

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* We have a new pope. Pope Francis I has no involvement with the sexual abuse scandals surrounding the Church, but has had other legal troubles in his past. [Los Angeles Times]

* UNLV Law Dean Nancy Rapoport schools other deans on drafting press releases about the U.S. News rankings. [Nancy Rapoport's Blogspot]

* Lend your support to this new project to create Oyez-style audio/video archives of state Supreme Court proceedings. This will be really helpful, but I’m holding out for audio/video of Wade McCree’s courtroom. [Knight News Challenge]

* If you’re mad that your name comes up when people Google “erectile dysfunction,” filing a public lawsuit over that fact isn’t the answer. [IT-Lex]

* Charter schools are lame because the crazy people running them teach whatever they want, like this one that teaches students that hippies were dirty. Well, okay, that’s not actually untrue, but the system’s textbooks have other faults, like explaining how the KKK was just misunderstood, y’all. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

* Man loses his memory after car crash-induced head trauma, decides to become a lawyer. I’ve always said would-be lawyers should have their heads examined. [BBC News via Legal Cheek]

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Non-Sequiturs: 03.12.13

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* How bad is the job market? Wisconsin Law grad seeks unpaid position pushing a cart. [New York Daily News]

* Effortless Senate filibusters are really lame. And have been for a really long time. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* There’s a middle ground between “telling your significant other the whole truth” and “faking your own kidnapping.” [Lowering the Bar]

* Professor Gerard Magliocca notes that 3D printers (demonstration here) will strike a blow for privacy by allowing people to make objects in their home that they’d be embarrassed to buy in a store. He’s talking about dildos, people. [Concurring Opinions]

* The tax liability for Superman crushing coal into diamonds. [Law and the Multiverse]

* “95 percent of sushi restaurants surveyed sold mislabeled seafood.” Yeah. That’s why I don’t eat sushi. [Consumer Advertising Law Blog]

* It’s Spring Break! Meaning crazy mass arrests in Florida! One mass arrest featured on the local news got me chuckling. So much to enjoy in this report — the bizarre decision to ankle-cuff kids for underage drinking, the reporter inexplicably waving a bottle of Captain Morgan into the camera, and of course, an arrested kid yelling, “Roll Tide!” The full video of the news report after the jump. [WJHG]

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Non-Sequiturs: 03.11.13

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* Recently ousted Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown has a new law firm. Apparently not everyone’s a winner at Nixon Peabody these days. [Political Intelligence / Boston Globe]

* So, and maybe I’m reading too much into this story, I think this guy likes cocaine. [The Pulp / Broward Palm Beach Times]

* If you’re at NYU, the Law Review has been holding out on you with a private stockpile of outlines. Prometheus brings them to the masses. I don’t know why this person chose a terrible movie for a pseudonym. [PrometheusNYU] UPDATE: We crashed that link…here’s the new one.

* If you’re doing your taxes in Minnesota, you’d better be using H&R Block, because the authorities have warned taxpayers not to use TurboTax. [Tax Prof Blog]

* Burglar foiled by “supernatural figure.” [Legal Juice]

* Judge Dolores Sloviter, the former Chief Judge of the Third Circuit, announced that she’s taking senior status. That should lighten the load on her law clerks… [Legal Intelligencer]

* Earlier today, Staci was on HuffPo Live talking about the plight of recent law school graduates. Video after the jump….

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Non-Sequiturs: 03.07.13

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* Congratulations on your law degree! Here’s a list of the other professions you can go into, because “being a lawyer” might not be in your future. [Associate's Mind]

* Deleting unhelpful text messages is a poor litigation strategy [IT-Lex]

* Aaron Zelinsky wants your help coming up with legal aptonyms for an upcoming article. Do you not know what an aptonym is? It’s okay, just read his post and he’ll explain it for you. [Concurring Opinions]

* Rand Paul spoke for 13 hours. It only took two sentences to make him stop. Eric Holder has a great ROI. [Balloon-Juice]

* Cleveland Judge Pinkey Carr has issued another sentence making a convict wear a sign in public. [Columbus Dispatch]

* This grammar rant figuratively blew my mind. [3 Geeks and a Law Blog]

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Non-Sequiturs: 03.06.13

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* Darren Heitner writes about the new business of concussions in the NFL. Safety equipment manufacturers are working overtime to shield themselves from future litigation because, you know, there’s not much that can be done when you’re still intent on running the human head into another hard, moving object at full speed. [Forbes]

* Welcome to Salem 2.0. This time it’s Salem, Missouri that tried to protect us from witchcraft by blocking Internet access to information about Wicca. A federal judge struck this down. Then hopped on a broom and skyrocketed away. [KDSK]

* A Florida woman pulled a gun on Walmart employees who wouldn’t honor her $1 coupon. It’s Florida, so she had to stand her ground on that sh*t. [Lowering the Bar]

* A 12-year-old boy got stoned and led police on a car chase. Live fast and die young, my friend. [Legal Juice]

* More on Lindsay Lohan: After her lawyer, Mark Heller, got blasted as incompetent by the media (including us) and the judge in the case, Lindsay says she’s sticking with him. Because she’s shown a canny understanding of legal practice so far. [TMZ]

* #Filiblizzard! That’s the Twitter hashtag that Senator Rand Paul coined to describe the confluence of a major D.C. snowstorm and Paul’s unabashed filibustering of the nominee to head the CIA. At the same time, there is another filibuster of Caitlin Halligan’s nomination to the D.C. Circuit. Remember when Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell hammered out a deal that would end the excessive filibusters? No. You don’t. Because that was just your Absinthe-fueled hallucination. [PrawfsBlawg]

* Former Justice Sandra Day O’Connor was on the Daily Show. She didn’t seem to understand that Shelby County was about Section 5. [Election Law Blog]

Full video after the jump….

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Non-Sequiturs: 03.05.13

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* Legal advertising meets Godwin’s Law. [Lowering the Bar]

* Carla Spivack of Oklahoma City University’s law school suggests rethinking the logic of statutes that prevent a killer from inheriting from their victims. Spivak argues that most of such killings involve escaping abusive situations and not a “child who kills a grandparent to hasten an inheritance.” Um, Spivak hasn’t watched enough Murder, She Wrote. [The Faculty Lounge]

* “Would It Be Okay To Perform Surgery On Crack?” I’m not sure, but I’m a sporting fellow! Fetch me a scalpel and your finest rock! [Legal Juice]

* Dunkin’ Donut’s employee used hot coffee to spoil a robbery while yelling “go run on Dunkin.’” Moral of the story: Next time rob Winchell’s. [NBC New York]

* Bear Lawyer grapples with sequestration. I’m fairly certain the chalkboard behind him is a direct reproduction of a notepad Paul Ryan used. [Bear Lawyer, LLC]

* Subway founder says regulations would prevent him from building his business today. “I had an easy time of it in the ’60s when I started.” Yes, it’s harder to cut costs with horse meat today, but you can still dare to dream. [Overlawyered]

* Mila Kunis is the greatest interview ever, turning the whole thing around on a nervous interviewer. There are a couple important lessons here for litigators: (1) don’t get too stuck to your script; and, (2) if you’re going to let the witness take over the examination, just hope they’re trying to help you. Video after the jump. [YouTube via BBC Radio 1]

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Non-Sequiturs: 03.01.13

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* Court rules that overlapping elements between romance novels do not amount to infringement. I mean, there’s only so many ways to phrase “throbbing member.” [Courthouse News Service]

* Pinellas County, Florida (Tampa Bay area) returns to using fluoridated water after a governmental sea change brought on by the issue. Don’t they understand the Communist plot to sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids? [Tampa Bay Times]

* In fairness, I think pro se litigants generally have a pretty good ineffective assistance claim. [Lowering the Bar]

* The D.C. Circuit managed to irritate both environmentalists and industry by affirming Fish and Wildlife’s designation of polar bears as “threatened.” It’s a nice middle ground. You know who else would appreciate some middle ground? A polar bear clinging to a shrinking ice floe. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Former Justice Sandra Day O’Connor thinks kids need a healthier respect for the American democratic process. It would be unfortunate if the will of a democratic majority could get hijacked by five partisan hacks. [Courthouse News Service]

* Following up on yesterday’s profile of Lindsay Lohan’s attorney Mark Heller, the judge declared him “incompetent.” Fair enough. [TMZ]

* Oh, but trust him, he’s a doctor (of law). [The Economist]

* To quote the inimitable Spencer Hall, “Fine, here, cry.” [New York Times]

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Non-Sequiturs: 02.28.13

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* Michigan will assume control of Detroit pursuant to the state’s controversial “Emergency Manager Law.” How controversial? Michigan voters went to the polls to repeal the law last year… and the legislature said no. There’s a fitting symmetry that a law that denies the democratic rights of the people exists only because the legislature trampled on the democratic rights of the people. [WXYZ]

* A Harvard Law grad opens an e-commerce lingerie startup. The hook for her bra business is in-home fittings. Perfect for the cross-dresser who hates prying eyes. [Forbes]

* Rutgers-Newark and Rutgers-Camden have announced that they will merge into a single law school named “Rutgers School of Law” effective Fall 2014. The new school accomplishes the important goal of removing the words “Newark” and “Camden” from promotional materials. [TaxProf Blog]

* Professor Eugene Kontorovich explains how Chief Judge Kozinski’s piracy ruling actually advanced the liberal causes of the Law of the Sea and expanding the scope of the Alien Tort Statute. Yeah, but it also doomed us to destruction if Captain Kirk can’t get his act together in this new timeline. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* The producers of The Bachelor may need better lawyers. After they settled a claim with blogger Reality Steve, barring him from contacting cast and crew for spoilers, he’s publishing spoilers again. Reality Steve’s defense? The settlement agreement was silent on the matter of cast and crew contacting him. Touché. Reality Steve wins a one-on-one this week. [IT-Lex.org]

* Sometimes you just need to call the other player’s bluff. Right-wing legislators in Utah loudly parroted talk-radio scripts calling for Utah to reject federal grant money. Democrats in Utah agreed and voted to reject federal grants. Then Republicans started to panic. [Utah Political Report]

* Jon Stewart calls for the drowning of legal journalist Peter Lattman for being a wizard. Video after the jump….

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Non-Sequiturs: 02.27.13

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* I mean, if you can’t trust a sorcerer, who can you trust? [Factual Facts]

* Not enough Elie Mystal in your life? Catch him talking about the Voting Rights Act on HuffPo Live. [HuffPo Live]

* Manhattan lawyer Joseph Rosenzweig has been suspended for six months because he was married to two women at once. That was big of him. [Thompson Reuters News & Insight]

* A Detroit judge routinely skips out on work. Honestly, if I lived someplace like Detroit, I’d never be able to sit in an office all day. [Legal Juice]

* Are we actually dignifying the “maybe the 3/5ths compromise was a good idea” debate? Because, you know, you don’t have to. [Room for Debate / New York Times]

* Rick Pildes writes a guest post at the Election Law Blog asking if Congress abdicated its responsibility when it failed to update the Voting Rights Act. That’s crazy talk. When does Congress abdicate its responsibility? [Election Law Blog]

* We say goodbye to Inside the Law School Scam. [Inside the Law School Scam]

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