Penis
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Justice, Sex Scandals
Anthony Weiner Pleads Guilty, Will Have To Register As A Sex Offender
Anthony Weiner is gross, but he's not special. -
Morning Docket
Morning Docket: 05.19.17
* Remember when Judge Nicholas Garaufis (E.D.N.Y.) flipped out at Kirkland & Ellis for not sending a partner to cover a status hearing? It seems K&E and its client Facebook’s groveling won over the judge: cases dismissed. [ABA Journal]
* A big settlement in the Takata air bags litigation — and presumably big legal fees for some of the firms involved. [National Law Journal]
* Congratulations to Judge Amul Thapar (E.D. Ky.) on clearing the Senate Judiciary Committee; he should hopefully be on the Sixth Circuit soon. [Washington Times]
* Congratulations to Rachel Brand on her confirmation as associate attorney general — although it’s unfortunate that more Democrats didn’t cross the aisle to support her. [Law360]
* And be careful what you wish for, Democrats: now that we have Robert Mueller as special counsel, congressional inquiries into Trump/Russia-related matters could stall. [Washington Post]
* Speaking of Russia probes, should President Donald Trump hire outside counsel to represent him? да, да. [New York Times]
* A closer look at prominent lawyer John K. Bush, nominated by President Trump to the Sixth Circuit. [Vetting Room via How Appealing]
* Does size matter? Yes — at least in this murder case where the defendant is invoking a “big penis” defense. [New York Post]
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Crime
Will Erectile Disfunction Get An Attorney Off?
This lawyer is hoping Viagra gets him off... of attempted rape charges.
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Benchslaps, Legal Ethics
Disastrous Dick-Joke Deposition Earns Stern Benchslap
When lawyers behave this badly, a harsh benchslap is not far behind. -
Lawsuit of the Day
Shockingly, Court Rejects 'Motorcycle Boner' Appeal
Courts won't let you blame your 30-hour boner on your motorcycle. -
Celebrities, Defamation, Sex
Jared Leto's Lawyer Strenuously Objects To Claims That Her Client Has A Large -- Yes, Large -- Penis
Not your ordinary lawyer letter: "It is, as I understand it, the accusation of having a SMALL penis that is understood to be an insult." (Emphasis in original.) -
Sex
Idiot Buys Penis Enlarger Online And Receives Magnifying Glass
The authorities call it a scam, I call it hilarious. -
Bad Ideas, Hotties, Job Searches, Law Schools, Pornography, Technology, Unemployment
Lawyer Tries To Start Social Media Movement By Posting Nude Pictures Online
We're not sure how posting naked pictures will assist this guy in gaining anything more than additional notoriety... - Sponsored
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2nd Circuit, Barrington Parker, Crime, Guido Calabresi, Pornography, Sentencing Law, Sex, Technology
Second Circuit To Feds: Don't Touch His Junk
What exactly is "penile plethysmography"? A violation of substantive due process, according to the Second Circuit. -
Attorney Misconduct, Bad Ideas, Breasts, Lawyer of the Day, Legal Ethics, Sex, Sex Scandals, Sexual Harassment
Lawyer Allegedly Fondles His Clients, But 'Only The Special Ones'
This lawyer's alleged actions should be entered into the attorney misconduct hall of shame. -
Craigslist, Drugs, FCC, Football, Job Searches, Law Reviews, Marijuana, Non-Sequiturs, Racism, State Attorneys General, Summer Associates, Tax Law, Texas
Non-Sequiturs: 06.12.13
* California AG Kamala Harris gets a profile in Vanity Fair. That’s good, I hear she’s the hottest AG in the country. [Law and More] * If you have an erection that lasts waaaaaaay longer than four hours, file suit. [Delaware Online] * A New York-area law student wants a tutor to help with the law review write-on competition. For the low, low price of $35/hour. Eh. It’s better than contract work in most markets (in case the link breaks I’ve got a screenshot). [Craigslist] * What the hell, here’s another job listing. Highlights: Unpaid summer associates, fighting for $12/hour positions, with one voted off the island every few days. The new economy is awesome! (Screenshot here.) [Craigslist] * Patriarch Partners founder and CEO Lynn Tilton, known for saying, “There are three universal lies: Margins are weak, but we’ll make it up in volume; the check’s in the mail; and I won’t come in your mouth,” prevailed in MBIA’s suit against her. [DealBreaker] * The federal government has made legalized pot difficult for states. Now the burgeoning pot industry is lobbying Congress to change federal laws to make their jobs easier. Come on pols, it’s time to turn your “pro-business” rhetoric to action. [TaxProf Blog] * Republican master spin doctor Frank Luntz is looking into how the Washington Redskins could save their name. This all grows out of the efforts of George Washington Law Professor John Banzhaf (second link) to push the franchise to change its name by lobbying broadcasting regulators to penalize broadcasters for repeating the slur that passes for a mascot. [PR-Inside] * Pennsylvania Supreme Court Justice Seamus P. McCaffery is enjoying an FBI probe into the fact that his wife — and chief aide — earned massive referral fees for sending clients to personal injury firms while working for the court and skirting the rules established by the chief justice. Given the amounts involved, I clearly need to get into the referral business. [Philadelphia Inquirer] * I’ve given Texas a hard time over the last week, but the Texas Court of Appeals for the First District did a little to redeem themselves with this opinion citing legal luminaries Patsy Cline and Daft Punk. Full opinion after the jump. Relevant cites on Texas Courts. Check it out… -
Crime, Deaths, Murder, Quote of the Day, Trials, Videos, Violence, YouTube
Watch Jodi Arias Make Dick Jokes on the Witness Stand
Nancy Grace would probably pee her pants if she saw this video. -
Food, Lawsuit of the Day, Sex, Sexual Harassment
Lawsuit of the Day: Sexaroni
This story involves alleged harassment of a most meticulous nature....
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Crime, Deaths, Health Care / Medicine, New Jersey, Weirdness
Penis Embolism: A Bad Way to Die or the Worst?
A woman whose unlicensed penis enhancement procedure allegedly led to a patient's death faces manslaughter charges. -
Sex, Texas
Man Sues Over Broken Penis After Taking Sex Supplements
A lawsuit over every man's worst nightmare -- a broken penis... -
Health Care / Medicine, Malpractice, Sex
If You've Had an Erection for More Than Twelve Hours, Seek Medical Attention (You Can Always Sue Later)
A medical malpractice lawsuit raises this question: Is 26 hours too long to wait before you seek medical attention for your erection? -
Fashion, Fashion Is Fun, General Counsel, In-House Counsel, Law Professors, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs
Non-Sequiturs: 07.17.12
* I’m not sure why Romney won’t just say that he lied to the SEC about when he left Bain. Lying to the SEC is just good business. Lying to the American people is something that politicians are only supposed to do for sex. [Wonkblog / Washington Post] * Character and fitness can be a surprisingly tough hurdle, so I’ve been told. [The Toronto Star] * Here are the top law faculties by scholarship. I’d bet this list and the list for top law faculties by salary are pretty similar. [Brian Leiter's Law School Reports] * Ed Hayes gets another profile, a dandy profile this time. [The Dandy Portraits] * This is a highlight reel of terrible lawyer ads. [Strategist via Findlaw] * Man with the largest penis gets frisked by TSA. When asked to comment, Sam said, “This is how we keep motherf***in snakes off the motherf***in planes.” [Hufffington Post] * Congratulations to the general counsel of Viacom. [Hollywood Reporter] -
Airplanes / Aviation, Boalt Hall, California, Contests, Crime, Lawyer of the Day, Midsize Firms / Regional Firms, Nauseating Things, Reader Polls, Ridiculousness, Trials
Lawyer of the Month: June Reader Poll
Who should receive the title for June's Lawyer of the Month? Vote in our poll! -
Biglaw, California, Deaths, Football, Law School Deans, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Police, Silicon Valley, Texas, Trials, Women's Issues
Morning Docket: 06.14.12
* Kleiner Perkins responded to Ellen Pao’s gender discrimination suit, and it’s not pretty. Not only does the firm’s answer deny her allegations, but it also calls into question her work product. [San Jose Mercury News]
* Joe Amendola’s preferred strategy at the Jerry Sandusky trial seems to be the use of the “tried and tested technique” of ignoring all of the alleged accusers’ tears and making them cry all over again. [New York Times]
* Who in their right mind would attempt to fake being a lawyer these days? Michelle Fyfe, a 43-year-old woman from Texas, is accused of forging a law degree from SMU Dedman School of Law. [Dallas Morning News (sub. req.)]
* Say hello to Baltimore Law’s new dean, Ronald Weich, the former assistant attorney general who penned the notorious false gun letter to Congress. Surely this ex-DOJ official will stand up to Bogomolny. [The Hill]
* This must be like getting it caught in your zipper — but much, much worse. A Brooklyn man claims that members of the NYPD “strangled his penis,” so he’s suing. [Huffington Post via Courthouse News Service]
* Reuben G. Clark Jr., a founding partner of Wilmer Cutler & Pickering (WilmerHale), RIP. [Washington Post]
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Lawsuit of the Day, Nauseating Things
Lawsuit of the Day: The Urinal From Hell
Here's a whole new thing to be terrified about when using a public bathroom...