Pets

One Biglaw firm is willing to stand up for your right to work without being assaulted by fetid funk.

Your cat food may be made with slave labor and some lawyers are trying to do something about it.

A prosecutor brings his dog into the office on the weekend. An amusing email exchange ensues.

* Following his surprise resignation, the University of New Hampshire School of Law has banned the former director of its public policy center from stepping foot on campus. There must be something more to this story. Tipsters: time to assemble! [New Hampshire Union Leader]

* With his divorce lawyer’s blessing, George Zimmerman released a video where he says he still doesn’t think he did anything wrong when he killed Trayvon Martin, and that he feels victimized by President Obama’s “racially charged comments.” Paint a picture and get that angst out, Georgie. [Gawker]

* You were gonna walk your dog, but then you got high? You’ve heard of medical marijuana for people, but you probably haven’t heard of medical marijuana for pets. Nevada has a bill that’ll allow animal owners to smoke a bowl with sick pets. [LXBN]

* In case you missed our Converge conference last week, here are four essential tips that you’ll need to know if you intend to make a pitch to members of the mainstream media or legal press in the future. Tip #3 here is clutch. [Hellerman Baretz Communications]

* What’s so bad about Biglaw gossip? Absolutely nothing! In fact, ATL’s managing editor thinks that “Biglaw firms should [only] be afraid of us if they have something to hide.” You can thank us for your firm’s transparency, lawyers. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UREH4TohOdU

This is creepy and disgusting. Poor kitty!

* An Arkansas judge was mauled by his father’s pet zebra. We hope the judge recovers, but what we’d really, really like to know is how the hell one comes to own a pet zebra in Arkansas. [KARK]

* Pregnant women on poles may officially be sexy under color of law. [EPLI Risk]

* If your law firm is trying to make you complete a marketing project in order to get your year-end bonuses — like Quinn Emanuel — here are some ideas for you to try. [Hellerman Baretz Communications]

* According to Robert Durst’s lawyer, Chip Lewis, people mutter triple murder admissions under their breath on hot mics all the time, and it’s usually not that big of deal. [Gawker]

* You’re invited to an event hosted by Judge Kozinski at the Ninth Circuit courthouse, featuring discussion of Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link). [Supreme Ambitions]

* “While some argue that going to law school is still a safe bet, little evidence exists to support this position.” This law professor thinks law schools are in a “death spiral,” and that a “top” school may soon be in danger of closing. Uh oh! Which one could it possibly be? [Washington Post]

* “Rascal was the perfect law student because he never missed a class. If Rascal was asked a question he never said ‘pass.'” In 1937, Samford’s Cumberland School of Law graduated its first and only dog. In 2015, dogs bark and howl at Samford because of its new U.S. News rank. [Alabama.com]

* “You do not need to have a law degree to understand how troubling this is.” Politicians are pissed at Hillary Clinton over the email scandal she got herself into at the State Department, but it turns out she technically obeyed the law. [National Law Journal]

* Why do law firms fail? Dean Frank Wu of UC Hastings Law thinks that it’s because “[s]mart people overestimate the importance of being a smart person” — that is, your firm can still flop even if its lawyers are the best lawyers in the world. [Huffington Post]

* According to the latest report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, after two months of soul-sucking declines in the market, the legal sector gained 3,100 jobs in February. Wow, we only need 40,000 more jobs until all of last year’s class is employed. [Am Law Daily]

* Fun fact: Seattle Seahawks QB Russell Wilson’s uncle is the managing principal of of Beverage & Diamond’s D.C. office. Thanks to a gentlemen’s bet, because Wilson’s team lost the Super Bowl, his uncle will have to wear a Gronk or Tom Brady jersey. Ouch. [Legal Times]

* One of the homeless dogs who played in Animal Planet’s 11th annual Puppy Bowl was adopted by Bob Bernstein, a former partner at Kaye Scholer. The adorable Great Pyrenees-mix now leads a life of privilege, as any Biglaw pet should. [New York Post]

* We know all about the former law school dean who was recently arrested on some pretty salacious charges. We’ll have more on this later today. [Dallas Morning News]

* The interim dean of religiously affiliated Liberty Law thinks challenges to the school’s heteronormative honor code are a “concern for the future” — especially since a Canadian Christian law school is under fire for a similar code. [Deseret News]

* It’s not just law schools in the United States that are feeling the pinch of a fewer applicants amid a pathetic legal job market. Japan’s legal education system is also struggling, and some law schools may merge in order to survive. [Japan Times]

* Prosecutors say formal charges won’t be filed in George Zimmerman’s latest aggravated assault case because his current girlfriend recanted her claims, just like his ex did. His lawyer was wrong — his client does have luck with the ladies. [CNN]

* “Pay up or the cat gets it!” is an entirely acceptable means of collecting judgments in Russia. Because of course it is. [Lowering the Bar]

* Conservative Teresa Wagner, the professor who sued the University of Iowa for discrimination, is now irked that she’s been relegated to the library pending retrial. [TaxProf Blog]

* Mayonnaise manufacturer has dropped its stupid lawsuit over the definition of “mayonnaise.” Litigation dollars well spent. [Slate]

* A new company, “Assholes on Demand,” threatens to undercut the primary service lawyers provide. [The Irreverent Lawyer]

* North Korea hacks finally hit trend-chasing lawyers where it hurts. [Twitter]

* The California bar exam pass rate took a big hit. But big shifts in bar passage are not new in California historically. [Bar Exam Stats]

* Number crunchers conclude that in the UK, people hire expensive lawyers more than successful lawyers. [Legal Futures]

Allegations of an affair between a senior partner and a junior attorney, crazy conduct by the senior partner's furious wife, and a mysteriously missing cat.

Come for the oral argument coverage, stay for the point where Justice Alito tries to hump Justice Kagan....

Where does this corporate counsel work, and how big was his budget?

* Proximate cause and the Incredible Hulk. Whatever, everyone knows Kirby was the real brains behind Palsgraf. [The Legal Geeks] * Someone is having fun with their RFAs: Admit… that we are going to whip the dog piss out of you. We were specifically chided: “please don’t say ‘only in Arkansas,’” so we won’t. You should feel free to say exactly that though. [Hawg Law Blog] * Not really surprising, but patent trolling is the worst it has ever been. I’ll sit here and wait for the New York Times to blame millennials. [io9] * The most important Supreme Court decision you’ve never heard of! Well, except I have heard of it. In fact, there was a year-long college debate topic about it. But it’s still important. [Washington Post] * What’s the appropriate sentence for having a dog off a leash? Confining the guy to a seven-county area? [LA Weekly] * Things to do in Denver when you’re a lawyer: allegedly scam a few million off a client. [Denver Post] * Meet the lawyer who came up with the quirky reading that got the D.C. Circuit to temporarily derail Obamacare. [Wall Street Journal] * Meanwhile, this title says it all about Halbig: “Well, Conjecture, Tendentious Misreadings, and Cherry Picking Are Kinds of Evidence.” Pour a little out for Lionel Hutz. [Lawyers, Guns & Money] * Everyday we (the ABA) hustlin’. [Law and More]

This cat lady allowed her feline friends to take over her house -- crazy!

* The intellectual property history of dog leashes. How long is a patent in dog years? [Slate] * Trinity Western University, the new law school that bans gay people, just earned a thumbs down vote from thousands of area lawyers objecting to its accreditation. [CBC] * 10 real-life laws that regulate the supernatural world. [io9] * There’s a new bill of rights in this country and it comes from the IRS. The right to basically avoid taxes is only on the form for rich people. [TaxProf Blog] * Mass incarceration in this country degrades citizenship. Sadly, this statement needed to be made. [Boston Review] * After receiving an award, a young lawyer blasts legal aid cuts. [Legal Cheek] * The Daily Show examines the ongoing effort to unionize college football with commentary by Dee Dee Benkie. She’s wrong of course — college football unions would work like professional sports unions representing players who face exactly the same workplace hazards, instead of stereotypical longshoremen — but it’s good to see even an anti-union advocate agreeing that players deserve something more than what they currently get. Video below…. [The Daily Show]

Megan Grandinetti explains how her pet dog gave her the courage to leave Biglaw behind.

* Attorney General Eric Holder has until tomorrow to decide whether the government will seek the death penalty in the case against Dzhokhar Tsaernaev. Screw his fan clubs, he deserves it. [Associated Press]

* “Those who know me know I don’t like to lose.” Good thing he didn’t. Leo Strine was unanimously confirmed as Chief Justice of Delaware’s Supreme Court. We can’t wait to see what he’ll bring to his new bench. [Reuters]

* “[N]ominal relief does not necessarily a nominal victory make.” Any day that a lawyer can secure a $1 award for his client and a $34,772 award of fees for himself is a very successful day as a lawyer. [New York Law Journal]

* The mayor of Hoboken, New Jersey, was sued, and she’s blaming Chris Christie and his allies for the whole thing. When the governor found out, he had just finished bringing about world peace. [Star-Ledger]

* Kansas Law will offer in-state tuition to people near Kansas City, Missouri. It must be hurting to fill its seats to make such an offer just because the city name has Kansas in it. [Kansas City Business Journal]

* George Zimmerman’s estranged wife, Shellie, is well on her way to getting a default judgment of divorce. She may be down one dog in her life, but she still wants custody of their two pets. [Orlando Sentinel]

Would you classify your pet as nothing more than meat, like this lawyer?

Law students fighting over rabbits like children.

How should you spend your bonus? Here are 10 really prudent ideas.