Like it or not, some people have sensitivities to certain smells, some people are allergic to animals, and others are “lucky” enough to be part of both of those groups (yours truly included). While you’re munching on your freshly microwaved popcorn, some of your coworkers may be gagging from the smell. While you’re enjoying your steamed fish and broccoli courtesy of Seamless, some of your coworkers may be swallowing their own vomit due to the foul stench. Bringing your dog to the office may help you to relax while you’re billing your life away, but some of your coworkers may be sneezing all over their yet-to-be reviewed documents as a result.
If you can’t handle the smells emanating from your office, fear not, because one Biglaw firm is willing to stand up for your right to work without being assaulted by fetid funk.
Earlier this week, Fenwick & West sent out a firmwide email addressing the seriousness of this problem. Unfortunately, no one was able to take it seriously because it was written in multicolored Comic Sans and filled with random images found online.
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Something’s rotten in the state of Biglaw — and it seems to be the fish you had for lunch. A source emailed us to complain: “I’m a practicing Pescetarian and now my ilk has been singled out for being odiferous! Perhaps this is the false flag before announcing market-shattering bonuses!” You may be sleeping with the fishes before that happens, friend.
Here’s the Fenwick & West email, in all of its glory (click to enlarge):
While we hope no one in Biglaw is bathing in Stetson cologne, please take that Swedish Fish advice seriously — the sugar high will help you get through your year-end billables.
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Comic Sans: The Perfect Font For A Subpoena… If You’re As Dumb As This Clerk