Be wary of trade deals.
* Loretta Lynch might actually get confirmed, you guys! Senate Republicans have agreed to a bipartisan deal on human trafficking legislation which should end the Lynch logjam. America in 2015, “human trafficking bad” now requires months of negotiation. [CNN]
* Our old friend Professor Michael Simkovic is back and defending the decision to go to law school based on part-time job numbers because, hey, that’s how the Bureau of Labor measures unemployment so it must be the same for judging employment for struggling J.D.s. Professor Bernie Burk gives a thorough, thoughtful, and respectful retort. [The Faculty Lounge]
* Meanwhile, failing to learn the lesson of America, students seeking law degrees skyrocket in the UK. Thomas Cooley considers Norfolk campus. [Legal Cheek]
* The property law of Downton Abbey. It teaches the most important lesson of property — historically it’s really, really good to be a wealthy white guy. [Vanderbilt Law Review]
* Digging into a less heralded subsidiary argument in the marriage equality cases: the “proceed with caution” rhetoric intended to push the issue to the backburner. [NYU Law Review]
* On that note, same-sex marriage kills babies!!! Well, no, not really. But that is the argument one former Scalia clerk is making for some reason. [Dorf on Law]
* Looks like Europe is going to hit Putin where it hurts… an antitrust courtroom. That’ll learn him! [New York Times]
Can you tell the difference between actual CLE courses and ones we’ve just made up? Take our challenge and find out! Whatever the nature of your practice, our friends at Knowledge in Practice can help you navigate your options and find the CLE that works for you.
* “Defendant Pleads Guilty To Kicking An Owl While Paragliding.” Somehow I feel this could have all been avoided if that prick just told us how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. [Lowering the Bar]
* Justice Souter’s not revealing his papers to the public until 50 years after his death. Because there’s no historical interest in them or anything. [Concurring Opinions]
* Senator Ted Cruz understands modern politics: “you just surgically disconnect your shame sensor.” [Election Law Blog]
* With Law Day coming up, and it being the 800th anniversary of the Magna Carta, here’s an infographic about the great charter itself. [Lexis Nexis Business of Law Blog]
* The Biglaw workload is damaging to your health. [ABA Journal]
* Anyone want to be an Assistant Solicitor General in Texas? [Texas Workforce Commission]
* Here’s a very important lesson for all of the lawyers reading this: thinking about work while you’re on the way to work doesn’t mean that you’re actually working. This novel argument failed miserably for a Biglaw partner trying to get out of a huge insurance claim. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Justice Scalia isn’t very fond of the media’s coverage of SCOTUS: “They don’t like conservatives on the court, or anywhere else for that matter. They do a lousy job. You can’t expect them to do a good job.” Wow, tell us how you really feel. [Arkansas Online]
* “Enough! Enough! Call Loretta Lynch for a vote. Get her confirmed. Put her in place. Let her do her job.” After months of watching his pick for attorney general wait around thanks to political gridlock, President Obama has finally had it with this sh*t. [New York Times]
* Good news, associates! If you leave your law firm job for a Supreme Court clerkship, you’ll likely still be able to receive that gigantic SCOTUS hiring bonus — to the tune of $300,000 plus! — if you return to the firm you left when it’s over. [National Law Journal]
* “Hard questions have to be asked at law schools whose modest reputations and forgiving admission standards do not ensure their graduates gainful employment.” High LSAT scores are down, bar failure is up, and law schools still say it’s not their fault. [Bloomberg]
* Authorities have cleared the robot built specifically to buy illegal stuff off the dark web. In related news, officer, all that panda meat was bought by my robot… for an art project. [Hopes and Fears]
* Laurence Tribe’s arguments are getting closer and closer to Homer Simpson’s. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
* In case you weren’t counting, there’ve been 95 Senate roll call votes while Loretta Lynch has been waiting… [People For The American Way]
* Lawyer suspended for handing out ecstasy to drug women into sex. I don’t disagree with the outcome, but there’s one pretty troubling aspect of the opinion: “The OLR noted… that his victim was much younger.” She was 22! At a certain point can we just admit women are adults? Focus on the drugging predatory behavior instead of constructing her as an addled-brained ingenue. [Legal Profession Blog]
* Daredevil’s courtroom antics evaluated by New York Judge Matthew Sciarrino. [The Legal Geeks]
* If you’re interested in the legal landscape of marijuana, here’s a cool infographic summing up where we are and how we got here. [Diego Criminal Defense]
* If you’re interested in February bar exam results from across the country, Bar Exam Stats is keeping a running tally complete with a nice map. [Bar Exam Stats]
Columnist Tamara Tabo asks: if Professor Lisa McElroy were a man, would observers be as quick to give the benefit of the doubt?
* Moonlighting for Biglaw partners: golf caddy? This Alston & Bird partner spent the week caddying for Gunn Yang at the 2015 Masters Tournament. Oh, to watch a partner be subservient and lug someone else’s junk around all day. [Am Law Daily]
* Chief Justice Shirley Abrahamson of the Wisconsin Supreme Court is suing each of her judicial colleagues over a constitutional amendment that could get her demoted from her seat of power. Maybe this judicial diva is a “total bitch” after all. [New York Times]
* If you plan to run for president of this country and hope to discuss reform of the criminal justice system while you’re shaking hands and kissing babies on the campaign trail, you better be prepared to answer each and every one of these questions. [Washington Post]
* “I want to see in an application that … Law School is a default option for you.” At least one elite law school “actively preference[s]” work experience after college. Get a job. It’ll probably be easier now than after you graduate from law school. [Harvard Crimson]
* Aside from absurd tuition rates and deceptive employment statistics, here’s one more absolutely vital thing that members of the legal profession should consider tossing out during their spring cleaning sessions: the third year of law school. [Washington Post]
* Police claim David Messerschmitt’s killer stole only $40. [Washington Post]
* Lil Wayne vs. Cash Money. Which is, apparently, not an in rem action. [FactMag]
* What is the difference between confidence and arrogance? Obviously, I know the answer, but let’s see if you can figure it out. [Corporette]
* Immigration attorney is a no-show at her sentencing for 13 felony theft counts for accepting fees and botching her work. You’d think she skipped the country except we know she sucks at immigration law. [ABA Journal]
* Former president of the World Bank’s LGBT employee organization is under investigation. He thinks this seems pretty suspicious. [Buzzfeed]
* The Tsarnaev trial highlights the continuing stupidity of keeping cameras out of the courtroom. [Vanity Fair]
* Another installment of “Roberts at 10,” looking at his 10 years as chief. What’s his legacy on LGBT rights? Well, unsurprisingly, we’re not going to know for sure for a couple months. [Constitutional Accountability Center]
* A new study reveals that judges are less ideologically biased than law students. Again, it’s not that judges are less firm in their ideology, it’s that they’ve learned to pick their battles. [WSJ Law Blog]
We asked 850 attorneys and students how they choose a bar prep provider. Check out the answers here.
* Rand Paul is running for president. He says we need to “clutch the Constitution in one hand and the Bill of Rights in the other.” Pretty sure those were the same thing. And I’m very sure Senator Paul is leaving out the whole “end of slavery” amendment in his idealized vision of liberty. [YouTube]
* With all these states banning travel to Indiana over the RFRA, Professor Gerard Magliocca muses about the constitutional limits of states protesting other states. It’s somewhere between banning non-essential employee travel and armed invasion. [Concurring Opinions]
* That’s one way to set a Guinness Book record: use slaves. [Lowering the Bar]
* Jenner & Block managing partner Terrence Truax talks about the legal market and the vital importance of technology. [Bloomberg BNA / Big Law Business]
* The Department of Justice has released its report on the long-running story of New Orleans prosecutors allegedly posing under assumed names to poison the well. Long story short, they did it and it was wrong. [Observer]
* Wisconsin’s campaign finance issues are messed up. [LFC 360]
A map of the various states’ religious freedom laws in light of the recent uproar over Indiana’s version.
* “He said what he wanted people to hear and he didn’t fully answer questions.” St. Louis County Prosecutor Bob McCulloch of Ferguson infamy spoke at Missouri Law yesterday. We understand there was some sort of an “incident” with the SBA as well. We may have more on this later. [KBIA]
* “Don’t panic; you’re bound to get something eventually.” California had some of the worst employment statistics for law graduates after the recession. If you’re a member of the Lost Generation, these stories may resonate with you. [California Lawyer]
* New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez was federally indicted on corruption charges yesterday for allegedly accepting more than $1 million worth of gifts and campaign contributions in exchange for political favors. Way to do Jersey lawyers proud. [AP]
* Jury selection begins on April 27 for the criminal trial against the former members of Dewey & LeBoeuf’s top brass. The prosecution dropped three counts, but Joel Sanders and the Steves must still defend themselves against 100 others. Yikes! [New York Law Journal]
* Gordon Smith, one of the writers for Better Call Saul, doesn’t think the show’s portrayal of lawyer life will inspire young people to “run out to become attorneys.” After all, Jimmy McGill’s home and office haven’t exactly been depicted as “glamorous.” [WSJ Law Blog]
Legal technology columnist Jeff Bennion takes the controversy over Hillary Clinton’s emails and uses it to examine important issues in e-discovery.
After looking at the death penalty through the eyes of those facing it, alternatives to lethal injection, even the firing squad, might not look quite so objectionable.