* Court rules that overlapping elements between romance novels do not amount to infringement. I mean, there’s only so many ways to phrase “throbbing member.” [Courthouse News Service]
* Pinellas County, Florida (Tampa Bay area) returns to using fluoridated water after a governmental sea change brought on by the issue. Don’t they understand the Communist plot to sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids? [Tampa Bay Times]
* In fairness, I think pro se litigants generally have a pretty good ineffective assistance claim. [Lowering the Bar]
* The D.C. Circuit managed to irritate both environmentalists and industry by affirming Fish and Wildlife’s designation of polar bears as “threatened.” It’s a nice middle ground. You know who else would appreciate some middle ground? A polar bear clinging to a shrinking ice floe. [Volokh Conspiracy]
* Former Justice Sandra Day O’Connor thinks kids need a healthier respect for the American democratic process. It would be unfortunate if the will of a democratic majority could get hijacked by five partisan hacks. [Courthouse News Service]
* Following up on yesterday’s profile of Lindsay Lohan’s attorney Mark Heller, the judge declared him “incompetent.” Fair enough. [TMZ]
When it comes to marriage proposals, some guys are completely clueless. Perhaps your girlfriend said she’d once dreamed of getting engaged in a castle. Your friends, if they’re any good, will quickly advise you that you’re a moron for thinking you can pop the question at the local White Castle. Usually your best bros, or your wingmen, will be able to help you to see the error of your ways, and get you back on the right track.
And that’s why it’s great to have a wingman like Mayor Cory Booker. Not only is he handsome, but he’s also incredibly intelligent — Stanford for college, Oxford as a Rhodes Scholar, Yale for law school. Oh, and he’s a famous politician who’s social media savvy (and not in an Anthony Weiner kind of way), so that’s a good thing.
The dashing young mayor of Newark, New Jersey is pretty good at saving things, too. The list of things he’s saved is quite long, and ranges from freezing dogs to damsels in distress in burning buildings.
Like many of today’s celebrities, Britney Spears has had her fair share of legal troubles — except hers are a little crazier than your average Lohan-esque criminal case. From child custody hearings to conservatorships, our favorite pop tart has seen it all. Given that she’s been in and out of court so many times, you knew that she’d eventually become romantically entangled with a lawyer.
As luck would have it, Brit-Brit was caught by the paparazzi last week while out on a romantic Valentine’s Day date with a mysterious suitor. This time, as opposed to being a back-up dancer or an agent, Ms. Spears’s new love interest is reportedly (gasp!) an average joe, who just so happens to work for a law firm.
So what does he do? Well, that’s actually up for debate….
So you want to go to law school, huh? Well, you better be going to get a JD instead of an MRS — unless you’re going to law school in the Deep South. If that’s the case, then perhaps you’re expecting your degree to be accompanied by an apron. For the guys, it looks like you don’t even have to be in Texas anymore to get your 3500 square-foot wife.
One Southern school seems to be using the possibility of finding romance as one of its marketing ploys. Perhaps if prospective students think they’ll be getting something out of law school other than a raw deal, a mountain of debt, and grim job prospects, they’ll be more likely to enroll.
Because apparently two miserable lawyers are better than one….
Everybody gets laid on Valentine’s Day. Or they get into a fight and have make-up sex over the weekend. Either way, it’s a time when even the humblest among us gets screwed, whether by our lovers, the diamond industry, or from whatever pathetic singles activity you did last night.
Of course, getting to yes is only the start of sexual negotiations. Once you get busy, you need to get to work.
But Vivia Chen, on her blog The Careerist, dug up a “sex therapist” who says that lawyers, male and female, are prone to all sorts of sexual problems and disappointments.
I don’t know, seems to me that those are the kind of problems that convertibles are supposed to cure….
Today is Valentine’s Day, and lawyers as Type-A creatures are wont to plan every aspect of their date in advance down to the very last detail. Mmm, what a mood killer. Some lawyers may take their planning to the extreme, and offer their dates the opportunity to become contractually obligated valentines.
And now there’s a solution for even the most uptight of legal eagles: you can go one step further and draft a memorandum of understanding as to each party’s obligations — before the date, during the date, and after the date, up to and including the shaving of “appropriate areas” (wink wink, nudge nudge).
If that’s not a total panty dropper, we don’t know what is….
As we know from our Courtship Connection service, the dating scene is pretty rough for lawyers in New York City — but it’s even worse if you’ve chosen a non-lawyer as your date. Laypeople just don’t understand what it’s like to be a member of the legal profession.
While you were living your carefree existence, the average young lawyer is likely six figures in debt after having gone to school for three years. He’s overwhelmingly stressed out, and he works hard for the money. Like Kenneth Kratz, he is “the prize.”
That being said, you can only imagine how pissed a single lawyer would become after he’s been given the brush-off after a first date via text message….
Happy Valentine’s Day to you if you have a date lined up tonight! For the rest of you, Happy Staying-In-To-Watch-A-Movie-And-Drink-With-Your-Single-Friends Day. Last year, two Washington lawyers actually let me set them up on a V-Day date. This year, with my pool of Chicago candidates, I didn’t bother. I wouldn’t wish the boring Chicago dating scene on my worst enemy. Playing matchmaker and condemning more lonely souls to a yawn-inducing evening is as cruel as running a dog-fighting ring. At least the latter leads to a little biting and scratched backs for the participants.
So Courtship Connection is moving on and heading West. Hey San Francisco, do you have any single types willing to put their love lives into ATL’s not-so-capable hands? Fill out our survey! I will try to send you out on a blind date with a seemingly-compatible fellow legal type. You will dish the dirt afterwards. I will write about it, keeping you anonymous. And ATL commenters will provide their sincere, caring, and helpful commentary.
While waiting for the California girls and boys to jump into our dating pool, I will share with you the final Chicago date. Like the others, it did not go well. Why? Someone’s inferiority complex killed the mood….
In a land that is right here and in a time that is right now, a technology has arisen so powerful that it can replace basic human document review. Is it time to bow down before our new robot overlords?
First, here’s a little story about me: my life in the legal world began as a paralegal. My first case was a GIANT patent infringement case that was already six years old and had involved as many as five companies, multiple US courts, the ITC and an international standards committee. I knew nothing about any of this.
On my first day, my supervisor (a paralegal with at least eight other cases driving her crazy) sat me down in front of a Concordance database with a 100,000+ patents and patent file histories. “Code these,” she said. I learned that “coding”, for the purposes of this exercise, meant manually typing the inventor’s name, the title of the patent, the assignee, the file date, and other objective data for each document. I worked on that project – and only that project – for at least the first six months of my job. After a week or so, time began to blur.
What I know, in retrospect and with absolutely certainty, is that as time began to blur, so did my judgment. So did my attention to detail. If you could tell me that I did not make at least one mistake a day – one inconsistent spelling, one reversed day and month, one incorrectly spaced title – I frankly would need to see your evidence. I would not believe it. The human mind is trainable but it is not a machine.
Watch to find out what some of our subscribers received in their May box!
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We currently have a number of active openings for associate roles at US and UK firms in HK / China, Singapore and two new in-house openings. As always, please feel free to reach out to us at firstname.lastname@example.org in order to get details of current openings in Asia, as well as to discuss the Asia markets in general and what we expect for openings later this year. Our Evan Jowers and Robert Kinney will be in Beijing the week of March 25 and Evan Jowers will be in Hong Kong the week of April 1, if you would like to meet them in person.
The US associate openings we have in law firms are in the usual areas of M&A, cap markets, FCPA / white collar litigation, finance, and project finance. The most urgent of our top tier (top 15 US or magic circle) law firm openings in Asia (among many other firm openings that we have in Asia) are as follows:
• 2nd to 5th year mandarin fluent M&A associates needed in Beijing and Hong Kong at several firms;
• Korean fluent 2nd to 4th year cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 5th year Japanese fluent M&A associates needed in Tokyo;
• 4th to 6th year mandarin fluent cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 4th year M&A / cap markets mix associate needed in Singapore.
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