Unfortunately for Khloe Kardashian, a recent law school grad allegedly provided some “entertaining legal fodder” to the reality TV star’s husband, Lamar Odom. Apparently this NBA player thought he was a free agent on the basketball court and in the bedroom…
Sydney Leathers, an aspiring paralegal and one of the women behind the downfall of Anthony Weiner (part deux), recently published a guide on how to seduce politicians. Her tried and true methods seem to have worked well for her — not only was she able to sustain the would-be mayor’s sexual urges via text messaging, but she also raked in thousands of dollars from other sugar daddies. To put it plainly, this girl is a pro.
We decided to take a cue from her by creating our own guidebook on how to seduce lawyers. Just follow these five easy tips, and you’ll have him wrapped around your little finger…
A judge probably shouldn’t frequent astrip club. Forget all the arguments about the morality of strip clubs, or the need for judges to adhere to higher standards, or how the human brain can’t sustain that many playings of Girls Girls Girls by Mötley Crüe, the place is just crawling with people bound to show up in your courtroom for one reason or another.
But if a judge is going to frequent a strip club, it’s hard to top this judge’s style. He allegedly leveraged his legal know-how into sleeping with a dancer. Not bad. Better yet, instead of the clap he earned only a disciplinary complaint.
Imagine this: You graduated from a middling law school at the top of your class, and you somehow managed to land a job at a Biglaw firm that’s notorious for laying people off. You’ve kept your job there because you’re incredibly intelligent. You’re an actual law firm 10. In fact, you’re beautiful. You seem to have everything going for you.
There’s just one little problem. It’s your husband. You see, he kind of had sex with an underage girl in your bed — numerous times. But like many of the wives of New York politicians and public figures who “strayed and only thought with the lower half of [their] body,” you’re standing by your man, because… why? Your husband is neither of those things; he’s just a teacher who banged a student.
* Bernard Knight Jr., general counsel of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, will be taking his intellectual property talents to McDermott Will & Emery as a new — and rather cute — partner. Congratulations! [Corporate Counsel]
* The Securities and Exchange Commission has charged a Texas man in a Monopoly money Bitcoin-related Ponzi scheme. Unfortunately for him, the associated jail time for the crime isn’t virtual. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]
* When applying to law school, it’s wise to have a unique personal statement topic. But considering the application cycle, you could probably get away with writing “LOL” and still get into the school of your choice. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]
* Russia has granted NSA leaker Edward Snowden a pass to leave the Moscow airport’s transit zone. Be prepared to welcome borscht into your life, and be sure to always say spasibo. [Associated Press]
* Sorry folks, but Carlos Danger, more popularly known as Anthony Weiner, won’t be pulling out of the New York City mayoral race. I, for one, would love to see his AMAs on Reddit. [New York Times]
* It looks like Aaron Hernandez shot himself in the foot when lawyering up for a civil suit where he’s accused of shooting someone in the eye. His attorney specializes in banking litigation. [USA Today]
One of the more entertaining SNL skits ever was “The Ladies Man.” Tim Meadows portrayed “Leon Phelps,” a call-in show host with all the right (read: cheesy and/or sketchy) answers for your romantic queries.
And then it followed SNL tradition by becoming a really awful movie. Sigh.
But perhaps the tradition of Leon Phelps lived on in a Biglaw mailroom, where allegations have surfaced that a supervisor might have penned erotic poetry to woo an underling.
Let’s crack open a bottle of Courvoisier and check it out…
If you don’t live in the South, you may never have been to a Waffle House. Before anyone points out that Waffle House has a number of locations in the North these days, you’re wrong — anywhere with a Waffle House is automatically the South. It’s the new Mason-Dixon line.
In any event, the Waffle House is a chain of greasy spoons that consumes more lard than most countries and offers trainee positions to law students.
The Chairman of Waffle House, Joe Rogers Jr., is in a Georgia courtroom because his housekeeper accused him of demanding sex acts from her over the course of her eight years of service. Rogers has admitted to the affair — which was a gimme because nothing associated with a Waffle House has been cleaned since 1985 — but denies that he forced his maid to give him a half and half with his coffee.
While the case is not over, Rogers has scored a critical victory…
A disturbing video is making its way around social media today. It’s a six-minute family court video from August 2011 of a woman who complains that a marshal sexually assaulted her in a back room. The woman becomes increasingly agitated as the marshal, who is in the courtroom, then arrests her for “making false allegations about a police officer,” all while the magistrate plays with the woman’s child, at least until the child begs the arresting officer to not take her momma away.
It’s really tough to watch. Even I became emotional while watching the clip. And the marshal has since been dismissed. Most of the internet outrage is focused on the cop. Me, I can honestly say that after watching this I wish nothing but the absolute worst for Clark County Hearings Master Patricia Doninger. I think I’d rather see Edith Jones on the Supreme freaking Court than have this person “preside” over a game of Family Feud, much less be within shouting distance of a family court…
Sarah Jones — perhaps better known as the modern day Mary Kay Letourneau, but sexier — is now engaged to the student with whom she once had an illicit, illegal relationship, while he was still under the age of consent.
In case you you’ve forgotten about her, Sarah Jones once inspired many a wet dream during her time as high school teacher who moonlighted as a cheerleader for the Cincinnati Bengals. Her world came crashing down when TheDirty.com, a gossip site, alleged that she’d slept with all the players on the Bengals and had STDs. Shortly thereafter, she was indicted for sleeping with a student. Jones sued TheDirty.com for defamation, and months after she copped a plea on sexual misconduct charges in her criminal case, the civil case ended in a mistrial.
With all of those loose ends kind of sort of tied up, Jones’s tiger cub apparently decided it was a perfect time to pounce and put a ring on it…
* Because the Senate doesn’t work properly when it comes to doing things efficiently, Obama will nominate three candidates for the D.C. Circuit. The outrage! The horror! The court-packing! [Legal Times]
* Howrey going to sue everyone in time to meet this bankruptcy deadline? When you’ve only got a few days left before the statute of limitations expires, you file up to 33 suits per day. [Am Law Daily]
* Attack of the lawyer glut! If you’re a recent law school grad who’s still unemployed, chances are high that this chart detailing the ratio of lawyers to job openings will make you shed a tear. [The Atlantic]
* Tey Tsun Hang, the law professor convicted on corruption charges after having an affair with a student, is heading to jail for five months. Giving out all of that extra credit wasn’t worth it after all. [Bloomberg]
* Nidal Hasan, the accused Fort Hood shooter, will be representing himself in his murder trial. He’ll use a “defense of others” argument, which seems obtuse given the nature of the crime. [Huffington Post]
* Bradley Manning’s court-martial began with a bang, with the prosecution arguing that the young intelligence analyst put lives at risk, while his own attorney called him a “humanist.” [New York Times]
* Jill Kelley, the woman who helped bring about the downfall of General David Petraeus by exposing his affair, has filed a lawsuit against government officials alleging privacy violations of all things. [USA Today]
The evolution of relationships between the genders continues. Currently, in law firms, there is an interesting conundrum; balancing the desire for a gender-blind workplace where “the best lawyer gets the work and advances” and the reality of navigating the complicated maze created by the fact that, in general, men and women do possess differences in their work styles. These variations impact who they work with, how they work, how they build professional connections and how organizations ultimately leverage, reward and recognize the talents of all.
Henry Ford sat on his workbench and sighed. A year earlier, he had personally built 13,000 Model Ts with his own hands. Fashioning lugnuts and tie rods by hand, Ford was loath to ask for help. Sure, there were things about the car that he didn’t quite understand. This explains the lack of reliable navigation systems in the Model T. But Ford persevered because he knew that unless he did everything, he could not reliably call these cars his own.
“Unless my own personal toil is responsible for it, it may as well be called a Hyundai,” Ford remarked at the time.
The preceding may sound unfamiliar because it is categorically untrue. And also monumentally stupid. Henry Ford didn’t build all those cars by hand. He had help and plenty of it. Almost exactly one hundred years ago, Henry Ford opened up the most technologically advanced assembly line the world had ever seen. Built on the premise that work can be chopped up into digestible pieces and completed by many men better than one, the line ushered in an age of unparalleled productivity.
Today, an attorney refers business because he can’t do everything the client asks of him.
There are three reasons why this is way dumber than a made-up Henry Ford story…
Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past six years. You can reach them by email: [email protected].
Since late last year, things have been booming in Hong Kong / China in cap markets, especially Hong Kong IPOs. M&A deal flow has recently been getting a bit stronger as well. Although one can’t predict such things with any certainty, all signs are pointing to a banner entire 2014 for the top end US corporate and cap markets practices in Hong Kong / China. This is not really new news, as its been the feeling most in the market have had for a few months now and things continue to look good.
The head of our Asia practice, Evan Jowers, has been in Hong Kong for about 10 days a month (with trips every other month to both Shanghai and Bejing) for the past 7 months, and spending most of his time there meeting with senior US hiring partners at just about all the major US and UK firms there, as well as prospective candidates at all associate levels and partner levels, and when in the US, Evan works Asia hours and is regularly on the phone with such persons, as our the other members of our Asia team. Our Yuliya Vinokurova is in Hong Kong every other month and Robert is there about 5 times a year as well. While we have a solid Asia team of recruiters, Evan Jowers will spend at least some time with all of our candidates for Asia position. We have had long standing relationships, and good friendships in some cases, with hiring partners and other senior US partners in Asia for 8 years now.