* Fried Frank is closing down its Hong Kong and Shanghai offices because they were costing the firm more money than they were bringing in. What’ll happen to the lawyers who work there? Most of them will be huòdé dìyù. [Am Law Daily]
* Not everyone can match the New York market when it comes to Biglaw bonuses. According to disputed rumors, associates in some practices of at least one Chicago law firm didn’t receive any bonus at all. Which firm? [Crain’s Chicago Business]
* We often complain that women are getting the short end of the stick in Biglaw, but today we’ve got a nice little caveat. At some large law firms in at least one city, more women are making partner than their male counterparts. [National Law Journal]
* UVA hired Pepper Hamilton to consult on its inept handling of sexual assault cases while O’Melveny & Myers deals with its Rolling Stone gang rape allegations. Collars shall be half-popped until the school gets serious about these issues. [Newsplex]
* Whittier Law, home to one of the worst full-time, long-term employment rates in the country, hopes to give grads a “legal leg-up” with its new solo incubator program — because “[e]ducation and training doesn’t end when they graduate.” [Daily Pilot]
* Wet Seal joined the ranks of teen retailers like Deb and Delia’s when it dumped lots of locations and filed for Chapter 11. New code provisions might’ve sped things along, but like, being a debtor-in-possession is totally uncool. [DealBook / New York Times]
A federal judge professes ignorance of an infamous hand gesture.
I became a lawyer without really understanding that the job cuts time off of your life. My work hours are long, I can’t see my family or friends, and I am constantly at the mercy of the partner or the client. On top of everything, at one point, I was paying 7% on my law school loans. […]
How can you ward off an allegedly lecherous colleague? Here’s one idea.
What are the latest developments in this high-profile and salacious case?
This secretary didn’t want to be a partner’s sexytary, and now she’s suing.
The day of reckoning is here for a partner accused of egregious sexual harassment.
* In his year-end report, Chief Justice Roberts wrote about the high court’s belated adoption of the latest technological advances, but promised SCOTUS briefs and filings would be online… next year. [New York Times]
* It’s been recommended that J. Michael Farren, the former White House lawyer who attempted to murder his ex-wife — a former Skadden Arps attorney — be disbarred in D.C. Apparently the bar considers a conviction for something like this a big no-no. [Legal Times]
* Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s terrorism trial for his involvement in the Boston Marathon bombings will begin in Boston on January 5, despite his legal team’s best efforts to avoid the inevitable. At least fangirls won’t have to travel to admire him. [Bloomberg]
* Here’s one law prof’s thoughts on Harvard Law’s lame response to sexual assault complaints: “I believe … that Harvard University will be deeply shamed at the role it played in simply caving to the government’s position.” Well then. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Remember the Idaho prosecutor who recited the lyrics to “Dixie” during closing arguments at a black man’s trial? The defendant’s conviction was overturned because the prosecutor “inject[ed] the risk of racial prejudice into the case.” [NBC News]
* “People asked me what I want as an epitaph: He tried.” Mario Cuomo, the three-term New York governor and Willkie Farr alumnus who was once considered to replace Supreme Court Justice Byron White, has passed away. RIP. [New York Times]
* Per the Department of Education, Harvard Law sucks at handling sexual assault and harassment complaints. As it turns out, the DoE only found out about the misconduct because a faculty member from New England Law snitched on the Ivy League school. [Boston.com]
* Everything’s bigger in Texas, including the penalties for pot possession. One state legislator wants to change that in the new year, and hopes his colleagues will puff, puff, pass his bill in favor of small civil fines instead of jail sentences. [VICE]
* “If the court has been waiting until the country is more comfortable with gay marriage, they’ve waited long enough.” The first SCOTUS conference of 2015 will focus on gay marriage cases. It’d be fabulous if they took one. [Supreme Court Brief]
* Latham and Fried Frank are going to be advising on Shake Shack’s initial public offering. Hungry attorneys working on the IPO will be disappointed to learn that their client doesn’t have any public offerings for consumption on Seamless. [Am Law Daily]
* The bankruptcy trustee for the late, great, defunct firm of Howrey LLP keeps lining up big settlements for its remaining creditors. This time, Wiley Rein will contribute $1 million to the failed firm’s coffers. Howrey like dem apples? [Wall Street Journal]
The adage that law turns slowly does not hold in eDiscovery. This year saw unprecedented sanction awards for falling behind the curve. Courts did not hesitate to engage with advanced and nuanced technological issues. For lawyers and other eDiscovery professionals who plan on maintaining basic competence, these cases and trends shouldn’t be overlooked. For a full exploration of trends and developments in this area of case law, check out this on-demand webinar.
* “[I]t’s hard to find anybody as handsome as Antonin Scalia.” Some would beg to differ, but as it turns out, legal scholar Bryan Garner can brown-nose with the best of them. [WSJ Law Blog]
* In a lawsuit filed against real estate database Zillow, a former employee claims she was subjected to the “most heinous acts of sexual harassment imaginable” and “sexual torture.” That’s just lovely. [LAist]
* Law firm merger activity is still going strong as 2014 winds down to a close. Aside from big-name tie-ups like Bingham / Morgan Lewis and Locke Lord / Edwards Wildman, other firms like Verill Dana also had the urge to merge. [Am Law Daily]
* “Does it really surprise me? Not all that much.” University of Memphis School of Law students are on high alert during finals time after one of their own was almost robbed at gunpoint across the street from campus this week. Yikes. [WMC Action News 5]
* In case you’ve been sleeping under a rock, Above the Law’s managing editor, David Lat, wrote a book called Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), and it’s been receiving rave reviews. If you dig clerkship lit, you should try to check it out. [National Law Journal]
You may not believe this headline, but you have to read the disciplinary filing.
* A cautionary tale about using online dating to cheat on your spouse — you might end up upwards of $54K poorer. [Legal Cheek]
* Alabama wasted time and energy passing a ballot measure for the purely symbolic purpose of reaffirming Xenophobia? Shocking! [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]
* Interesting tale of reporting a female boss for sexual harassment. [Vice]
* When the police inevitably come down on you, turn off your iPhones first. [Versus Texas]
* 6 Hilarious Trials That Prove the Legal System Is Screwed. [Cracked]
* CCAF is hiring. Good pay, flexible hours. Sounds like a great gig if you hate plaintiffs’ firms. [Center for Class Action Fairness]
* Should Jewish judges recuse themselves in Palestinian terrorism cases? Um. No? [Tablet Magazine]
* Jameis Winston’s lawyer is just the worst. [Jezebel]
Anna Nicole Smith, Attorney Misconduct, Biglaw, California, In-House Counsel, Law Firm Mergers, Law Schools, Legal Ethics, Marijuana, Morning Docket, Partner Issues, Politics, Sexual Harassment, State Judges, State Judges Are Clowns, You Go Girl
* Bingham McCutchen canceled its partnership retreat, and their partner offer letters from Morgan Lewis must be accepted by today’s deadline — all while a prospective merger currently hangs in the balance. [Am Law Daily]
* Per Altman Weil’s 2014 Chief Legal Officer Survey, the work at in-house legal departments is about to grow exponentially, while the spend on outside counsel will decrease in turn. Uh oh, no bueno. [Corporate Counsel]
* “The attempt to have the defendant have any kind of humility has failed.” Due to “unsatisfactory” apologies to state employees, former judge Joan Orie Melvin will have to re-apologize for her crimes. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
* “A troubled law school is like Dracula: hard to kill.” In the wake of the Thomas Jefferson School of Law’s debt restructuring, it’s now obvious that law schools aren’t worth much at all. [DealBook / New York Times]
* Republicans are now in control in both the House and the Senate, but fear not, because the nation’s capital just legalized marijuana. That’ll help calm down the depressed D.C. Democrats out there. [CNN]
* Though it’s unlikely, thanks to this ruling, Anna Anna Anna Anna Anna Nicole’s lawyer/lover could be retried for allegedly giving illegally obtained prescriptions to the drug-addled model. [National Law Journal]
* Tinder’s cofounder apparently made a killing on her sexual harassment settlement with the company. Though no one admitted guilt, she reportedly took home “just over” $1M. Get it, girl. [Business Insider]