* Lanny Breuer’s resignation from his post as the assistant attorney general for the Criminal Division of the Department of Justice is neither fast nor furious enough for his critics. [Blog of Legal Times]

* “I don’t reimburse for taxi and car services around Manhattan.” Judge Martin Glenn is none too pleased with costly expenses billed to the Dewey & LeBoeuf bankruptcy estate by Togut, Segal & Segal, and he’s started slashing fees left and right. [Am Law Daily]

* The Florida Space Coast School of Law? This totally necessary school has a name that no one will ever be able to make fun of. Please let there be an equally necessary space law concentration. [Daytona Times]

* “Being rude is not illegal,” but thanks to The Dirty, it might have some damning consequences for CDA § 230. Maybe it’s a good thing the jurors in this sexy teacher’s defamation case were deadlocked last night. [KY Post]

* Julie Taymor settled her suit against the producers of Broadway’s musical adaptation of Spider-Man. It turns out all the judge had to do was schedule a trial date to get the parties to turn off the dark litigation. [Bloomberg]

* Here’s an example of legal Kaepernicking: the NFL got to flex its muscles when it strong-armed a football fan into abandoning his trademarks on “Harbowl” and “Harbaugh Bowl” in anticipation of the Super Bowl. [ESPN]

Cristina Fierro: not of age.

* Here’s something that’s actually worth crying over instead of your “meh” bonuses. Much like this year’s Cravath scale, Biglaw pro bono hours will likely be stagnant or cut altogether. [Fortune]

* What’s the point of fleeing if you’re just going to let yourself get extradited? Ex-Crowell & Moring counsel, Douglas Arntsen, will return to New York to face grand larceny charges. [New York Law Journal]

* Knock it off: the feds took down 150 sites selling counterfeit goods yesterday, alleging willful copyright infringement. So much for all of those too-good-to-be-true Cyber Monday deals. [Blog of Legal Times]

* It’s pretty much impossible for Gloria Allred to take a client who doesn’t have a vagina. Her latest litigant, 16-year-old Cristina Fierro, is suing Lawrence Taylor for sex trafficking. [New York Post]

* Finally, some Spider-Man drama that we can get behind, unlike that Turn Off the Dark crap. Tobey Maguire has settled his illegal poker lawsuit, and he didn’t even have to go all in. [CNN]

* Sorry, Chick-Fil-A, but no one is going to be confusing your “chikin” trademark with kale. Maybe like 3% of your customers even know what kale is. And that’s being generous. [Huffington Post]

Julie Taymor will probably make her lawyer give opening statements while suspended from a trapeze high above the courtroom.

* Julie Taymor, former director of Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark, is suing the producers of Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark, for infringing on her creative work. As with so many things in that production, I don’t think this is supposed to be part of the show. [The Hollywood Reporter]

* In this podcast, I give some advice on what to do with your summer, depending on your class year. Remember 1Ls, the summer Club Med jobs fill up fast. [Law School Interactive]

* I didn’t get to weigh in on the Herman Cain thing yesterday, but instead of blaming the alleged victim, I think the Cain campaign should blame the alleged victim’s lawyer. If regular Americans knew what kind of lawyer Gloria Allred was, Cain would be winning in the court of public opinion already. [Huffington Post]

* I always tried to make my memos to file funny. There’s comedy gold in a file at Debevoise should a future archaeologist ever dig it up. [What About Clients?]

* Somebody actually paid attention to Larry Crowne advertising long enough to be offended? [Lowering the Bar / Forbes]

* More women on the faculty lead to more women on the law review. Of course, more women on the law review increases the chances of law review inbreeding, which could one day lead to a race of excellent grammarians who nonetheless burn when confronted with sunlight or skin care products. [Ms. JD]

* Every law student should be on Twitter? Maybe. Things would certainly move faster if every lawyer could make an argument in 140 characters. [Girls Guide to Law School]

* You see how people are reacting to Penn State right now? That’s how people should have been reacting to the POPE for YEARS. Now when are the civil lawsuits gonna start? [SB Nation]

This is my cat, Chloe. Don't steal her, because she is radioactive.

* The Winklevoss twins finally got the point, and decided to drop their case against Facebook. Like. [Bits / New York Times]

* Spiderman, Spiderman / Allegedly gambling whenever he can. / Makes a bet, any size, / Texas Hold ‘Em debts, he denies. / Look out! Here comes the Spiderman. Tobey Maguire’s new theme song? [Daily Mail]

* The king of DC gender discrimination suits plans to sue the Catholic University of America. Doesn’t he know that single-sex dorms will stop these Catholics from having the premarital sex they allegedly don’t have? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Justice Sotomayor gave a speech to the JDRF Children’s Congress, telling them that they, too, could someday be wise Latinas. Also, something about a Zune? [Los Angeles Times]

* Hey, Judge Gummo, next time you get wasted, please remember that you’re supposed to wear a robe, not a sheet. Judicial conferences aren’t fraternity toga parties, bro. [Daily Journal]

* Alright, I really love animals, but if my boyfriend stole my cat, I wouldn’t sue for $11M. I’d just key his car and slash his tires. You know, the usual. He’d give me back my cat for free. [New York Post]

* Things upon which you can now blame your alleged anti-Semitic remarks: booze, benzos, and sleeping pills. Thanks for that, John Galliano. Mel Gibson, please take note. [New York Magazine]

* If you’ve been following the Stetson v. West Publishing case like us (hey, I could use the $12), check out the latest news on the coupon settlement rejection. [National Law Journal]

* Criminals and foreclosure victims subject to criminal mortgage rates now have something in common in New York: guaranteed legal representation. [New York Times]

* Not getting your fill of Broadway injuries from Spider-Man? Then Billy Elliot’s got a deal for you — tickets now come with a complimentary face smash worth $4M. [New York Post]

* Dumb kids are going to continue to eat Play-Doh, no matter how it’s spelled. And trust me, “play dough,” edible or not, doesn’t taste good. [Boston Globe]

* You’d think that the government could do better than just saying “this stuff happens” when it comes to rape and gangbangs in the military. [MSNBC]

* Facebook: connecting you with the people around you. It’s just too bad that they sometimes bleed to death in the process. [Chicago Tribune]

* If libeling the police was a crime in the United States, a lot of more rappers would probably be in jail — or out of business. [CNN]

* Stephen Baldwin and Kevin Costner are fighting about water clean-up technology for oil spills. Um, hello, dude was in Waterworld, I think he knows his sh*t about water. [The Hill]

* I’m just a girl, but don’t speak, I know just what you’re saying. There is no doubt that this video game lawsuit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S. [Company Town / Los Angeles Times]

* The anatomy of Courtship Connections. Kash explains why it’s so difficult to set lawyers up with each other. [Forbes]

* Alan Dershowitz and Julian Assange make a love connection. [Politico]

* Does compassion really have any place in the law? [Underdog]

* Many of the lonely among you will be drinking heavily tonight. That’s okay. We’ll deal with your alcoholism once Hallmark leaves you alone. [Lawyerist]

* Let’s hope ABA President-Elect Nominee Laurel Bellows shows law students some love. [ABA Journal]

* No love for social media experts in this week’s Blawg Review. [My Law License via Blawg Review]

* And in case you missed it, the Saturday Night Live cast tips us off on a hot new legal practice area — after the jump….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Non-Sequiturs: 02.14.11″

It’s like Formula One. You want to see the car crash. We like to go to Rockefeller Center to watch the ice-skaters fall.

Carol Barbeiro, a lawyer, on why she went to see Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, the ill-fated, accident-prone Broadway musical. (Her boyfriend added: “She wants to see blood.”)

Virginia Seitz: The Finishing School for the Elect's new headmistress?

* How much would you need to be paid to spend 40 hours in prison? Does $200,000 sound about right? [Maryland Daily Record]

* C’mon, libs, John Yoo isn’t heartless — he opposes slavery, for crying out loud. Meanwhile, Richard Epstein agrees with Yoo that the original Constitution was far from perfect. [Ricochet (Yoo); Ricochet (Epstein)]

* Sidley Austin partner Virginia Seitz — a member of The Elect (Brennan / OT 1986), and descended from Article III aristocracy, as the daughter of the late Judge Collins Seitz (3d Cir.) — is looking like President Obama’s pick for the powerful and prestigious Office of Legal Counsel (OLC). [Main Justice]

* Sen. Arlen Specter recently complained that “the Supreme Court has been eating Congress’ lunch.” If the Sanchez sisters brought gandules y pernil, look under Lady Soto’s robe. [ACSblog]

* Congratulations to the six lawyers selected by incoming New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman for his front office (including Nancy Hoppock, my fantastic former colleague from the U.S. Attorney’s office). [WSJ Law Blog]

* At some point, all the injuries arising out of the ill-fated Spider-Man Broadway musical have to generate at least one lawsuit, right? [Gothamist]