State Attorneys General

How does this state AG plan to do her job when her license to practice law has been suspended?

* Not everyone can lead a glamorous life before going to law school. Take, for example, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. After graduating from college, she traveled to Alaska where she gutted fish with some “gentlemen from Japan.” Eww, that sounds… slimy. [JD Journal]

* Law schools have been forced to hike up a rocky road in terms of admissions for quite some time, but admissions officers recently decided to put on their rose-colored glasses. Everything will be okay next year! Things are looking up! [Inside Counsel]

* Corrales Municipal Judge Luis Quintana of New Mexico may have been disbarred, but he has no plans to resign from his position on the bench; after all, municipal judges in his state don’t have to be lawyers. How terribly convenient for him. [Albuquerque Journal]

* Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane is now facing additional charges — including a new perjury charge — related to her grand jury testimony. She better find a way to blame this on her evil twin, because this doesn’t look good. [Times-Tribune]

* Warren Watson, a man who was convicted of robbing, raping, and murdering 66-year-old attorney Claudia Miller in her office in 2013, was recently sentenced to life in prison, plus 334 years on top of that for all of his dastardly deeds. [Denver Post]

* In case you missed it, on top of her perjury and obstruction charges, Pennsylvania AG Kathleen Kane’s license to practice law was suspended. As a law professor attempting to make a sick burn noted, “She may be at this point our paralegal general.” [WSJ Law Blog]

* Tracy Morgan made an appearance at The Emmys on Sunday night that earned him a standing ovation, but David Jay Glassman, the attorney representing the Walmart truck driver who hit the comedian’s car last summer, wasn’t applauding. Hmm, perhaps his wife suddenly got pregnant? [The Wrap via Yahoo!]

* If the former leaders of failed firm D&L are convicted this week, we seriously hope that they’re not so disillusioned as to believe they’ll be shipped to a “Club Fed” facility. How long Dewey think these Biglaw alums will last at a place like Rikers? [Am Law Daily]

* New Biglaw associates at some firms are being treated to a second college experience filled with orientation programs, resident advisers, summer reading, and even parties. (At least they get to drink champagne, not Franzia.) [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

* The president of UMass says its law school will be fully accredited by the American Bar Association within one year’s time. Given that everyone gets a turn when it comes to ABA accreditation, this is one low-expectation-having educator. [Boston Business Journal]

Pennsylvania AG Kathleen Kane takes a page from The Parent Trap to troll the press.

And the Indiana AG's office has thrown its support behind ESPN.

* “When it’s convenient, we’re alumni; when it’s not convenient, we are not alumni.” Grads of Texas Wesleyan Law — which is now known as Texas A&M Law — are suing because the school won’t grant them new degrees or recognize them as alumni. Harsh, y’all. [Houston Chronicle]

* The ABA Journal wants to know who you think the smartest judge in the U.S. is. Let’s hear it for the wonderful women of the Supreme Court: Justices Sandra Day O’Connor, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomayor, and Elena Kagan. [ABA Journal]

* Now that same-sex marriage is legal across the country, it only seems logical that bans on adoptions by same-sex couples should be overturned. Mississippi will have Roberta Kaplan of Windsor fame to thank when its ban is struck down. [New York Times]

* Pa. Attorney General Kathleen Kane has claimed innocence with regard to the criminal charges she recently racked up. She blames the entire ordeal on blowback from the state’s “Porngate” scandal. AG Kane has got one hell of a moneyshot. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* Did you know that there’s such a thing as barbecue law? Further, did you know that a Biglaw attorney who serves as counsel at Norton Rose Fulbright who’s never handled a barbecue case has cornered the market on BBQ law books (affiliate link)? [Legal Times]

* Graffiti artist Rime alleges that Katy Perry wore a dress designed by Moschino that ripped off some of his copyrightable work. This dark horse has injected herself into a lot of IP issues this year. Your lawyer fans thank you. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The Seventh Circuit is totally sorry about the case that it completely forgot about for the past five years. It seems that the court pleadings were “placed in the wrong stack” on remand from the Supreme Court in 2010. Congratulations, America: This is your justice system. Oopsie! [ABA Journal]

* Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane has been charged with perjury, conspiracy, obstructing justice, and several other crimes in connection with a grand jury leak. She’s the second state AG to be criminally charged this week. Nice job. [USA Today]

* Arizona Summit Law filed a motion to dismiss former employee and alumnus Paula Lorona’s pro se retaliation and consumer fraud lawsuit with prejudice. The school claims the complaint is pleaded deficiently. Well… you educated her. [National Law Journal]

* Rapper Busta Rhymes was charged with second degree assault this week after he allegedly threw a protein drink at a gym employee. His lawyer calls the charge “a bunch of bull.” Hmm, we apparently should’ve listened when he told us he was dangerous. [MTV]

Everything's bigger in Texas, including the criminal charges against their attorney general.

Texas AG Ken Paxton will reportedly face multiple felonies come Monday.

Law nerds assemble!

* It’s gettin’ hot in herre, so take off all your clothes. Nelly’s gettin’ so hot, he wanna take his clothes off — for his jailhouse strip search? The rapper was arrested in Tennessee this weekend for felony and simple possession of a potpourri of drugs on his tour bus. [CNN]

* “It usually takes much longer for a position to become so disreputable that no respectable lawyer will touch it.” If you haven’t noticed, Biglaw firms don’t want to touch the SCOTUS gay marriage arguments with a 10-foot pole. [New York Times]

* “I think we’re going to see a 10,000-lawyer law firm within five years.” In case it’s not entirely obvious by now, Dentons is trying to become the largest firm in the universe, with “no logical end” in sight to its lawyer hoarding ways. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* “[T]his one has me bumfuzzled.” Like other legal experts, this law prof isn’t sure how to tackle Wisconsin Supreme Court Chief Justice Shirley Abrahamson’s lawsuit to preserve her power, but he does win the award for best usage of “bumfuzzled.” [Lacrosse Tribune]

* Yikes! Pennsylvania State Attorney General Kathleen Kane recently found herself embroiled in scandal after two of her offices were searched and she was ordered to explain to a three-judge panel her reasoning for firing one of her prosecutors. [Morning Call]

When a top cop is mildly inconvenienced, threats of prosecution aren't far behind.

Which Biglaw firm leads the way when it comes to vigorously promoting the interests of corporations who might otherwise find themselves investigated?

Embarrassing performance review of a state candidate.

What are the allegations against Ohio attorney general Mike DeWine regarding his awarding of contracts for outside legal work?

* A company has limited bathroom breaks to 6 minutes daily. Well, gutting pensions and suppressing wages hasn’t caused a revolution, why not let it ride. [Slate] * A Florida town has imposed criminal sanctions against sagging pants. But Chief Justice Roberts told me racism was over in the South… [Fashionista] * Who says crime doesn’t pay? [CBS News] * Mayer Brown wants you to think the Supreme Court wasn’t tilted toward business interests this Term. Yes, we all know how Homer City turned out, but maybe it’s worth evaluating this based on how important the cases were. Is Petrella really equivalent to Noel Canning? [Mayer Brown] * Not one, but two former Utah Attorneys General charged with corruption. [Deseret News] * The CFPB brought suit against a debt collection lawsuit mill. A working CFPB. One more great thing we used to get from recess appointments. Thanks Breyer. [CFPB] * Oh no. A law school tuition Kickstarter. [Kickstarter] * New York tried to help homeowners facing foreclosure. Unfortunately, the law didn’t create a remedy if the banks refused to follow the law. Well, it was our fault for thinking Albany could do something right. [WiseLaw NY]

* Quinn Emanuel got a pretty harsh benchslap from Judge Paul Grewal over its litigation strategy in the Apple / Samsung case, calling it “650 lawyers wide and one lawyer deep.” Sick burn, Judge. [Courthouse News Service]

* At Cardozo Law, Jordan Belfort’s former lawyer says that the movie Wolf of Wall Street “played down the sex and drugs.” Dear Lord, if that’s the case, Leo’s muse should be happy he’s alive. [DealBook / New York Times]

* “I’ve been around the block. And I’ve never seen an attorney general sanctioned.” Ahh, the rarest rose. Nevada’s AG was sanctioned for failing to provide evidence in a fraud case against a mortgage lender. [Forbes]

* Eighteen people were arrested for their alleged attempts to market and sell Super Bowl “party packs” to football fans. It’s pretty sick, but you’d got to admit that hookers and blow beat wings any day of the week. [Bloomberg]

* Law schools in the Southeast closed their doors because their states were “unequipped for dealing with the roadways.” Send them up here, we’ve got school when there’s a foot of snow. [National Law Journal]

* A recent grad of a “good school” wanted to know how to get a job, so she asked an advice columnist. Here are five of the suggested jobs she probably already applied to and was rejected from. [Fortune]

* The third time’s apparently the charm in Italy: Amanda Knox was convicted of murder, again. Foxy Knoxy must be pissed that her case has turned into an extradition question on an international law exam. [CNN]

* Who doesn’t love fee voyeurism? It pays to be a winner in an antitrust case. How many millions did Robins Kaplan just rake in? Just part of the largest attorney fee award ever handed out in a private antitrust case, no biggie. [Am Law Daily]

* In this glass half-full world, about half of state Attorneys General are in favor of gay marriage — but some of them would go ahead and defend their state’s laws anyway. Boo. [WSJ Law Blog]

* It might be “pretty basic,” but Chris Christie received a document subpoena over the Bridgegate scandal. Not for nothing, but we hear that the governor was in the middle of bringing about world peace when he got the news. [Bloomberg]

* Hofstra Law is the latest school to launch its own “law school law firm” in an effort find jobs for its graduates close the justice gap. Welcome aboard the bandwagon, enjoy your stay! [Hofstra Law News]

* Hunter Moore, the king of online revenge porn, was indicted on 15 federal charges by a grand jury. “We’re superpleased that the FBI have brought this to fruition,” says a victim’s mother. So is everyone else. [TIME]

* “I have this much respect for the American judicial system.” George Zimmerman has a new painting for sale, and this time he’s ripping the Special Prosecutor who charged him with second-degree murder. [CNN]

* Harvard Law’s Langdell Library hosts a bevy of legal treasures. Including the personal lunchbox of Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. [The Harvard Crimson]

* Per a new survey, watching the Kardashians makes one twice as likely to want an aggressive lawyer. When I have to watch the Kardashians I become an aggressive lawyer. [Avvo]

* The Supreme Court spent Cyber Monday denying review to two cases challenging the imposition of sales taxes on Internet purchases. [The Blog of the Legal Times]

* New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman cracked down on fake Yelp reviewers. Apparently, reviewers who gave a pet groomer 4 stars are a bigger priority than the reviewers who gave subprime-backed securities AAA ratings. [Corporate Counsel]

* Not exactly breaking news, but Philly has caught on that law firms are merging because the market is so terrible with a new piece on the merger craze. Specifically, they’re looking at the planned merger of BakerHostetler and Philly’s own Woodcock Washburn L.L.P. we mentioned last week. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* Lakers guard Steve Nash’s ex-wife is battling him for child custody. She’s hired a Phoenix law firm whose most famous attorney is jacked up NFL ref Ed Hochuli. For now Hochuli isn’t working on the case directly. For now. [TMZ Sports]

* Congratulations to Kobre & Kim on being named Law Firm of the Year by the National Asian Pacific American Bar Association. [Newsday]

* Who says Civil Procedure isn’t sexy? Some UNLV Law students take to YouTube to bring (Civ Pro) SexyBack. [You Tube]

Allegations of a high-ranking government lawyer abusing the perks of his office, a tax lawyer engaging in tax fraud, and a real estate lawyer stealing $4 million -- who should be Lawyer of the Day?