State Court Judges

* “[G]reed is not a component of the law of fiduciary duty anywhere.” Donald Trump’s campaign may have claimed he has “a fiduciary responsibility to his business, his family and his employees to pay no more tax than legally required,” but legal experts found that assertion pretty laughable, seeing as there’s no such thing as a fiduciary duty to oneself. [DealBook / New York Times]

* An attorney who serves as an advisor to the ABA’s Standing Committee on Gun Violence says he accidentally shot and killed his wife when his gun went off after hitting a speed bump. He claims he had the gun out because they were in an area where Black Lives Matter protests had been held and was afraid they were about to be carjacked. [People]

* For the first time since the days of Abraham Lincoln, the Supreme Court opened its new term with a vacancy on the bench certain to be filled in the upcoming presidential election. Without the late Justice Antonin Scalia’s voice, the Court is left split along ideological lines, with four conservative justices and four liberal justices. [Reuters]

* According to Chief Justice John Roberts, “judges are not politicians, even when they come to the bench by way of the ballot,” but that doesn’t mean elected judges behave as judicially as they’re expected to when retention elections are near. In fact, “[a]ll judges, even the most punitive, increase their sentences as re-election nears.” [New York Times]

* The EEOC has filed a suit against Denver Law, alleging that female full-time professors are paid less than their male counterparts. Nine female professors work at the school full-time, and on average, they’re paid about $20K less than full-time male professors. Denver Law says it stands by its “system of evaluation and merit pay.” [Denver Post]

* “We believe the magistrate judge’s decision that Brendan Dassey’s confession was coerced by investigators, and that no reasonable court could have concluded otherwise, is wrong on the facts and wrong on the law.” Prosecutors in Wisconsin have appealed the overturned conviction of “Making a Murderer” subject Brendan Dassey. He’ll remain in prison pending the outcome of the appeal. [New York Times]

* A Canadian judge is facing possible removal from the bench after asking this question to the accuser in a rape trial: “Why couldn’t you just keep your knees together?” The judge also made other inappropriate remarks during the trial, and blames it on his failure to understand changes to the country’s sexual-assault laws. [ABC News]

* Desperate times sometimes call for really desperate measures? California-based Prism Patents is cutting its executives’ compensation by two-thirds in an attempt to come up with some cash. Its general counsel’s salary fell from $240,000 to $90,000, and the company’s CEO now makes $12 (not a typo), down from $300,000. [Big Law Business]

* The battle between Houston Law School and the Houston College of Law (formerly South Texas Law) rages on, and now the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office is involved. Thanks to a complaint lodged by U. Houston, the USPTO has suspended Houston College’s trademark application for its new name. [Houston Chronicle via TaxProf Blog]

* It doesn’t matter if Romy and Michelle invented Post-It Notes or if serial inventor Alan Amron did, because your lawsuit against 3M is likely to be dismissed — especially if you’ve already settled a prior $400 million suit over the product’s inventorship for $12,000 and released the company from all of your future claims. [CBS Minnesota]

* Oh please, like you really care about any news other than the firms that have raised their salaries. Here’s the roster of movement news from yesterday: Keker Van Nest, Greenberg Gross, Willkie Farr, Gunderson Dettmer, Vinson & Elkins, Latham & Watkins, Clifford Chance, Sidley Austin, Munger Tolles, Proskauer Rose, O’Melveny & Myers, McKool Smith, and Fenwick & West. If you’re ever worried that you’ve missed any of our coverage, check out our omnibus 2016 salary page where we collect all of these stories. [2016 Salary Increase / Above the Law]

* Per Paul Weiss chairman Brad Karp, Biglaw firms are “operating in a period of unprecedented turbulence and instability.” He further cited the gap between elite firms and second-tier firms, warning that “[m]any firms have lost their footing.” Hmm, maybe that’s why some associates haven’t heard about their raises yet… [Big Law Business]

* In a 6-2 decision, SCOTUS ruled that Puerto Rico isn’t a separate sovereign for the purposes of double jeopardy in criminal prosecutions. Justice Elena Kagan, writing for the majority, noted that “the oldest roots of Puerto Rico’s power to prosecute lie in federal soil,” so its authority comes from Congress, not its citizens. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “I merely bade a bad decision, trying to be a good father.” An Alabama judge has held an attorney in contempt and fined him $4,000 for showing up so late to his client’s murder trial that he was forced to dismiss the jury. The attorney was late to court because he has to drop his daughter off at summer camp. [Monticello Live]

* Former Subway pitchman Jared Fogle, who was sentenced to nearly 16 years in prison for charges related to child pornography and sex with minors, had his sentence affirmed on appeal by the Seventh Circuit. He claimed that he’d been sentenced inappropriately for his crimes. Poor Jared will remain behind bars to get his footlongs. [USA Today]

* Senior White House adviser Brian Deese has assembled a crack team to help President Obama choose a Supreme Court nominee who will be able to win confirmation before an angry Senate to replace Justice Scalia. Let’s see which way the 2009 Yale Law School graduate steers this important project. [Reuters]

* Australian law firm Slater & Gordon is feeling the pain of being the world’s first publicly traded law firm after a $958.3 million first-half loss. The firm, which is now being referred to as a “corporate catastrophe,” hopes to lay out a restructuring plan in the next few months amid the likelihood of multiple shareholder suits. [Herald Sun]

* Texas State District Judge Julie Kocurek returned to court this week after a shooter opened fire on her in November 2015 in what police are now calling an assassination attempt. She lost a finger during the shooting, but says she feels “very lucky that is all [she] lost.” Welcome back to the bench, Your Honor! [Austin American-Statesman]

* Sorry, FBI, but a judge has ruled that Apple doesn’t have to help the security service unlock an alleged New York drug dealer’s iPhone. This isn’t binding precedent for the tech company’s San Bernardino case, but you can bet your ass its legal team will try to convince the judge handling the order at issue that it should be considered. [NBC News]

* If you’ve been waitlisted at the lowest-ranked law school you applied to this admissions cycle, it doesn’t mean you’ll be rejected from every other school you applied to this admissions cycle — it just means you may have to work a little bit harder on all of your letters of continued interest. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

* Law firms aren’t the only businesses that go through break-ups; the communications firms that represent these elite firms apparently have rocky relationships, too. Spencer Baretz and Cari Brunelle of Hellerman Baretz Communications have split to found their own firm, and they took the entire HBC team with them when they left. [Business Wire]

* Remember the judge who challenged a public defender to a fistfight in court? He was suspended by the Florida Supreme Court, and has 20 days to explain why he should keep his job. With all due respect, your great right hook isn’t a good enough reason, Your Honor. [Florida Today]

* Screw the historic SCOTUS decision, because this Alabama probate judge really doesn’t want to issue same-sex marriage licenses. In fact, he doesn’t think any judges in the state should have to do so. He wants the federal government to issue them instead. [AL.com]

* In the wake of the latest daily fantasy sports scandal involving DraftKings, FanDuel has hired the kind of legal representation that you’d want on your team for a Hail Mary play. Hut! Hut! Hike! Time to suit up, Debevoise and Kirkland. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg]

* The University of Chicago Law School has a new dean. We’d like to wish a warm welcome to Thomas Miles, a “rookie dean” who likely has enough prestige points under his belt to lead one of the best law schools in the nation with great ease. [Crain’s Chicago Business]

* Today is the 25th Annual National Depression Screening Day, so if you’re a lawyer or a law student who’s feeling anxious or depressed, please feel free to take an anonymous online screening quiz. There are people and programs who can help you. [Am Law Daily]

* Not everyone can lead a glamorous life before going to law school. Take, for example, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. After graduating from college, she traveled to Alaska where she gutted fish with some “gentlemen from Japan.” Eww, that sounds… slimy. [JD Journal]

* Law schools have been forced to hike up a rocky road in terms of admissions for quite some time, but admissions officers recently decided to put on their rose-colored glasses. Everything will be okay next year! Things are looking up! [Inside Counsel]

* Corrales Municipal Judge Luis Quintana of New Mexico may have been disbarred, but he has no plans to resign from his position on the bench; after all, municipal judges in his state don’t have to be lawyers. How terribly convenient for him. [Albuquerque Journal]

* Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane is now facing additional charges — including a new perjury charge — related to her grand jury testimony. She better find a way to blame this on her evil twin, because this doesn’t look good. [Times-Tribune]

* Warren Watson, a man who was convicted of robbing, raping, and murdering 66-year-old attorney Claudia Miller in her office in 2013, was recently sentenced to life in prison, plus 334 years on top of that for all of his dastardly deeds. [Denver Post]

* This October, rappers Jay Z and Timbaland will have to testify in a lawsuit concerning copyright infringement and improper music sampling. We’ll see how “Big Pimpin'” they really are when we find out which lawyers and law firms are repping them. [Page Six / New York Post]

* This judge apparently doesn’t appreciate fighting words in pleadings. “Do you want to fight me? Is that what you want?” A West Virginia magistrate judge challenged a litigant — one who previously called the magistrate a “fat sweaty slob” in motion papers — to come to his house and “see what happens.” [Charleston Gazette-Mail]

* An ex-Texas judge was sentenced for his side job of smuggling guns into Mexico and selling them. He faced up to 70 years when he pleaded guilty to two felony counts in May, and was handed his 18-month sentence on Friday. Yeehaw! [Austin American-Statesman]

* The Idaho College of Law will begin to host first-year law school classes at its Boise campus starting in 2017. The Boise campus now serves 1Ls, 2LS, and 3Ls, but not to worry, this flyover law school’s main campus isn’t going anywhere. [Idaho Statesman]

* Julian Bond, civil rights icon, SPLC board member, former NAACP chair, RIP. [NYT]