Summer Associates

IP Boutique Blind Item: When The Managing Partner’s Boyfriend Allegedly Pulls A Gun On You

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This could be the last thing you see before you get no offered.

Haven’t we all been there? You’re a summer associate at a law firm event. You see the managing partner. You down your drink and work up the courage to introduce yourself to her, determined to make a good impression. You’re trying to get her attention, and maybe you brush up against her arm. And the next thing you know, her boyfriend is pointing a gun in your face.

Oh wait, that never happens to anybody. At least, it’s not supposed to. But according to one source, it did happen to a summer associate at an IP boutique around town.

And, you’re not going to believe this, but the kid apparently did not get an offer from the firm…

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ATL Summer Associate Event Contest: The Finalists

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We recently requested entries for our summer associate event contest. Even if being a summer associate at a large law firm is more work than play these days, there is still fun to be had.

Here’s a comment on the post from “Dewey & LeBoeuf Summer Associate”:

It’s tough to choose just one event from my summer to nominate for The Best Biglaw Summer Associate Event of 2012. First, there was “Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day,” which was so successful the firm extended the event for the entire summer. Another one of my favorites was the cooking class I attended, “Upgrading Your Kitchen: 101 Ramen Recipes.”

Some of the firm’s events were also educational. I particularly enjoyed the invaluable seminar “Dodging Your Debts,” featuring guest speaker Elie Mystal. And each week I looked forward to the “Friday Bonfire,” where the other summer associates and I gathered to roast off-brand marshmallows in the tall fire we’d built with that week’s haul of rejection letters as we basked in the glow of the flames of our legal careers.

Fortunately, most summer associates are working at firms that aren’t in bankruptcy. Let’s take a look at our quintet of impressive entries for this year’s summer associate event contest….

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Summer Associate Offer Rates (2012): A Round-Up

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He got an offer. Did you?

Truth be told, I’m not a fan of law firms giving offers to 100 percent of their summer associates. Whatever happened to selectivity? Given how perfunctory the hiring process is, there has to be at least one mistake in any summer class of decent size, right?

A commenter on our last post about offer rates put it well: “[A] 100% offer rate is not always a good thing. If we don’t want to work with the little weirdo who managed to slip through by pretending he was normal in 20-minute increments in callbacks, there’s a good chance the other SAs don’t either. Firms shouldn’t be so captured by the desire to have 100% offer rates that they give offers to people with serious social issues or work product problems, particularly in small offices where their general offensiveness will really have an opportunity to shine.”

Another reason I don’t like 100 percent offer rates is that I enjoy hearing funny stories of summer associate misbehavior, which often culminate in a no offer or a cold offer. You can share such stories with us by email or by text message (646-820-8477; texts only, not a voice line).

Alas, Biglaw firms are not obliging me. Let’s find out which firms are indiscriminately doling out offers to their summers….

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Summer Associate Offer Rates (2012): Open Thread

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Smile if you got an offer!

We’ve had a decent amount of drama involving summer associates at major law firms this year. We’ve heard stories of dramatic helicopter rescues in Canada, showstopping performances at the Apollo, guns found in drawers, and steamy lesbianic trysts (which are, of course, nothing new for summer associates).

Are these antics affecting offer rates? Here’s what we’ve heard about a handful of firms that have announced offers….

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What Was The Best Biglaw Summer Associate Event Of 2012?

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Who had a ball this summer?

It’s August. The dog days. The beginning of the end of the summer. Summer associate programs at Biglaw firms are starting to wrap up. So it’s time for us to seek submissions for the best summer associate event of the season.

Biglaw summer programs are smaller and less opulent than they used to be. But they’re not as bad as they were during the darkest days of the recession. Summer associates are getting offers. And having lesbian sex. It’s not all bad.

There have to be some summer events worth nominating this year. Hell, at this point we’d settle for a summer event that didn’t require medical attention after it finished….

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Comment of the Week: Lesbians Didn’t Build That

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Let the record show that a person running for President of the United States has spent a week willfully misrepresenting the statement of the incumbent president.

The “you didn’t build that” comment has been grossly taken out of context. Everybody agrees that it’s been grossly taken out of context. And yet some people keep taking it out of context to advance a point that the president believes something that he never said. I’m honestly stunned that in the so-called greatest democracy in the world, we can’t even debate things that people have actually said.

But since that’s what people are talking about, we might as well meme it up. Our Comment of the Week does just that….

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Instead of Applying For A Job, Why Don’t You Act Like You Are Applying For A Job?

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NBC’s Peacock Productions is looking to shoot a pilot. And they want you.

They want your big personality, your innate sense of the camera, and your desperation. They need that lean and hungry look that you’ve honed through rejected job applications past.

Do you think you have what it takes? Do you think you can accurately portray a person who wants a job at a New York law firm???

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Dear Summer Associates: Read The Fine Print Before Signing Up For the Mountain Hiking, So The Firm Doesn’t Have To Send A Helicopter For You

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This is as close as I came to hiking up that mountain.

If somebody suggested I go on a hike for fun, I’d probably punch him in the face. Since when is walking fun? To me, calling a hike a summer associate “event” is like calling the Bataan Death March a hike.

Obviously, I don’t work at Quinn Emanuel. Quinn has been running a hiking event for summer associates for years, and it’s one of the most popular events in all of Biglaw.

It’s unique. People have a good time — well, maybe not everyone, but most people.

And if somebody needs to be helicoptered out, well, that just strengthens the bonding experience for the survivors….

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Lesbian Law Student’s Explicit Law Firm Sex Diary Goes Public

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Lawyers aren’t known for their attractiveness, nor are they supposed to have sex lives. Because really, how are they supposed to fit in time for getting it in when they’re supposed to be working 100 hours a week?

Law students, however, are a completely different story. Law students have plenty of time to get down and dirty, and when they do, you can be sure that their sexual partners are at least moderately good-looking in the real world. Let’s face it: as a law student, it’s almost like you’re wearing beer goggles to gauge the overall attractiveness of your classmates. A law school “10″ is most assuredly a real world “7″ or “8″ — still hot, but not quite as appealing outside of hallowed halls of your law school.

But you know what will bump up the attractiveness quotient of any law student? Putting your sex life online, in graphic detail, where everyone can read about all of the hot lesbian action that you’ve been getting as a summer associate at a law firm.

This isn’t the first Sapphic summer story to grace our pages, and hopefully it won’t be the last. Avert your eyes if need be; reader discretion is advised….

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Quote of the Day: I Have 64 Couplets on the American Experience That I Think Might Be Appropriate

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If you want 'real,' then watch the Wire. If you want a television 'show,' watch this guy.

I plainly have a crush on lawyers, and because being one is hard, I decided to write about them instead.

– Aaron Sorkin, speaking to summer associates at Debevoise and Plimpton.

Sorkin has a long standing “crush” on Debevoise. On The West Wing, Josh Lyman’s father, Noah Lyman, was said to be a partner there, and Joe Quincy (played by Matthew Perry) was said to have an offer waiting for him at Debevoise. Sorkin is an old friend of Debevoise partner Steve Hertz.

(After the jump, we’ve got pictures of Sorkin sitting with the Debevoise summer associates.)

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