What was this partner thinking when he filed this off-the-wall petition with the Supreme Court?
* We know all about the ridiculous lawyer with three Harvard degrees who is apparently considering suing a mom-and-pop Chinese restaurant over a $4 overcharge. We’ll have more on this absolute absurdity later. [Boston.com]
* An English court ruled that a girl with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder couldn’t be awarded damages against her mother because the harm occurred in utero. Remember folks, the unborn aren’t people, only corporations are. [Daily Beast]
* Someone at Harvard Law taped fliers containing the last words of unarmed African-Americans who shot by police over portraits of their law professors. [ABC News]
* Per a recent study, the vast majority of law students have suffered from some sort of mental health issue while in law school. This isn’t at all shocking. [Yale Daily News]
Biglaw bonuses this year were insane. In an industry that usually plays “follow the leader” when it comes to associate bonuses, this year felt more like a poker tournament.For a full recap of the 2014 bonus season, fill out this brief form and receive ATL’s Biglaw Bonus Poker infographic.
* Whoa, the American Bar Association shockingly deferred action on giving InfiLaw its blessing on the takeover of Charleston Law. Perhaps the ABA is turning over a new leaf as to saving law schools? [National Law Journal]
* Nevermind. The American Bar Association decided to grant provisional accreditation to the beleaguered LMU Duncan School of Law. Perhaps the ABA’s new slogan should be, “Accredit all the law schools!” [Claiborne Progress]
* Like it or not, despite their financial constraints, it’s likely that many law schools will never close, no matter how terrible they are — so as long as ABA regulation remains lax and the government keeps feeding students loan dollars to attend. [Daily Caller]
* If you read one piece of long-form journalism today, let it be this special report on the Supreme Court’s “echo chamber,” perhaps better known as the elite members of the SCOTUS bar who hoard all of the cases on the docket for themselves. [Reuters]
* In other law school-related news, fewer law school graduates are passing the California bar exam. California’s pass rate for the July exam was just 48.6%, and it’s been almost a decade since the pass rate was that low. Ouch! [Los Angeles Times]
* The NAACP Legal Defense Fund took to Twitter to name every unarmed person of color killed by the police since 1999. Gawker compiled short bios on each. [Gawker]
* Pillsbury just moved into a cozy little office. Emphasis on “little.” [The National Law Journal]
* Georgetown Law students of color raise similar concerns as Columbia students. Again, I don’t understand emotional trauma and I definitely think extensions should be measured in days and not weeks, but it strikes me all the people complaining about the extensions are just exposing themselves as bad students. If you think your neighbor getting 2 more days will hurt your grade, you’re the one with the studying problem. [Georgetown Law Coalition]
* And now Harvard. [Harvard Law Coalition]
* If you rent a refrigerator, you consent to an arbitrator hearing your case after a repairman robs and beats you. Sounds about right. [Public Justice]
* Uber ban after rape allegations. [Redline]
* The Supreme Court told BP that no matter how much it tried, it can’t slip out of its settlement agreement like an oil-soaked seagull. [Think Progress]
* Finally, in the wake of the Eric Garner case, it’s worth looking back at what Justice Marshall told us about police chokeholds. [Mother Jones]
According to the New York Times, “for an elite niche,” Supreme Ambitions “has become the most buzzed-about novel of the year.”
Oral argument in Young v. UPS revealed a lot about the justices.
Maybe, just maybe, there are too many laws.
* As we’ve addressed, the grand jury declined to indict the officer in the police-cause homicide — per the medical examiner — of Eric Garner. [New York Times]
* This is a good time to remember Eric Garner was killed for the horrible crime of selling loosies, a product that developed a black market in NYC in response to rising cigarette taxes. Evading cigarette taxes should be a crime. But, like, a “here’s your $50 ticket” crime, not the death penalty. [Huffington Post]
* An anonymous Georgetown law student has filed suit against the school and one of its instructors, Rabbi Barry Freundel, for “luring her to the bath as part of her studies at the school.” And who didn’t have that lesson in Civ Pro? [Washington Post]
* Another in the continuing series looking back on a decade of Chief Justice Roberts. This time looking back at the slow and steady drive to curtail women’s rights. [Constitutional Accountability Center]
* The Bar Association of San Francisco is hosting an event next Tuesday featuring Chief Judge Alex Kozinski entitled: The Wizard of Koz. Um, may not be the best time to use to “Cos” sound in a title. But that aside, it promises to be an interesting event if you’re in the area. [San Francisco Bar]
* Brian Finch of Pillsbury Winthrop talks cyberattacks and admits what everyone else wants to deny: law firms are a weak link in cybersecurity. [Bloomberg TV]
* Everyone’s “BFF” Anthony Elonis, of the Elonis v. U.S. case that’s currently before the Supreme Court, is facing additional scrutiny over a snarky note he sent to an ADA last year about burning a cross on the prosecutor’s lawn. Wow, he sounds like really a “fun” guy. [WSJ Law Blog]
* I was gonna go to class, but then I got high: DU Law is teaching a class about how to sell lots and lots of weed. Just kidding. According to the professor, the class is actually about the legal issues that come up when selling lots and lots of weed. [Cannabist]
* The HRC’s 2015 Corporate Equality Index is out, and noticeably absent from the list of Biglaw honorees is Boies Schiller. We suppose the firm forgot one of its name partners is helping to overturn gay-marriage bans across the country. [Am Law Daily]
* The University of Iowa College of Law is asking — nay, begging — the Supreme Court to block a retrial of Teresa Wagner’s claims of political bias discrimination. This is just one of the things law schools will do to keep their faculties liberal. [Associated Press]
* From Yale to Wayne State, law students are getting involved in protests to spread the word about social injustice in Ferguson in the wake of Michael Brown’s death. If you have a problem with this, someone from NYU might too. [National Law Journal]
* Winter break is the perfect time for undergraduate students to start working on their law school applications, but we’re more than willing to bet the future gunners out there have already sent all of theirs in. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]
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Who knew John Roberts could lay down sick rhymes like these?
* White & Case just named its youngest partner ever — in fact, he’s the youngest partner out of every international Biglaw firm in London. Joshua Siaw is just 30 years old, and he’ll be rolling around in money with the best of them. [Forbes]
* OMG, you guys, due to precipitous drops in applications, it’s a buyers market out there for law students, and the New York Times is ON IT! Thanks for shedding light on this new info no one’s heard about before. [DealBook / New York Times]
* Quack quack: Justices Antonin Scalia and Elena Kagan are heading to the Mississippi delta to exercise their Second Amendment rights and go duck hunting. They’ll also be making a stop at Ole Miss Law to discuss constitutional issues. [National Law Journal]
* Concordia School of Law will not be accredited by the American Bar Association before its first class graduates, meaning that no one in the class of 2015 will be able to take the bar exam this summer. Gah, what a gigantic waste of money. [KIVI FOX9]
* If you go to law school, you may be able to start a career in government when you graduate. You can look forward to all sorts of exciting experiences, from a smaller paycheck than your classmates to no paycheck at all. [U.S. News & World Report]
* What’s happening to all the Bingham partners that are not joining Morgan Lewis? Here’s the latest on the lateral moves of “the Forgotten.” [Reuters (sub. req.)]
* “Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” That’s not at all what police said after throwing a guy in jail for brandishing a banana. [CBS News]
* Is it possible to save the Supreme Court from partisanship? [Bloomberg Politics]
* You think you had a ritzy Thanksgiving dinner? Well, some jackholes somewhere spent $35,000 for a Thanksgiving dinner devoted to conspicuous consumption in a world of inequity. [Daily Kos]
* Shearman & Sterling’s Richard Hsu continues his wonderful podcast on the lives of lawyers, this week chatting with Sean Patrick Butler, Sr. Corporate Counsel at Cisco, about Butler’s decision to live two hours away from San Francisco to live the rural life. [Hsu Untied]
* This guy is compiling stats on bar exam testing patterns. He’s got some California data up already. Perhaps with some reader contributions, he can get widespread coverage. [Bar Exam Stats]
* When it comes to legal scholarship, women are earning more citations than men according to one study. There are a lot of caveats to be had, but it looks like the law has one, finite area where the gender gap is narrow. [TaxProf Blog]
* One-third of lawyers are taking on more pro bono work these days. Good for them. [Robert Half Legal]
* Some think SCOTUS should be the biggest issue of Election 2016. Why? Because most of the justices are old as hell, and they’ll only be older, more decrepit — and potentially more likely to retire — before or come voting time. [Washington Post]
* Deans from “middle-ranked” schools continue to question the results of the July 2014 bar examination. Sure, recent grads were part of the law school brain drain, but there’s no way they were “less able” than their older (and wiser) classmates. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Darren Wilson resigned this weekend, but it wasn’t because he killed an unarmed teenager in August. Wilson’s lawyer says his client quit because other Ferguson officers could’ve been harmed if Wilson remained on the police force. [Reuters]
* There’s only one thing that’s worse than a gunner, and that’s a septuagenarian gunner. At 73 years old, Jim Edwards is the oldest student at the Nashville School of Law, and he “view[s] what [he’s] doing as a calling from God.” Aww. [USA Today]
* This recent law school graduate may not have a job, but she figured out a creative way to make a small dent in her debt. She makes custom string art and sells it on Etsy. We’re willing to bet Texas Tech Law counts her as employed. [Dallas Morning News]
Was she able to pull through the operation?
* “Have a taste of this. It will do you good in so many ways.” Louisa Moritz, one of Bill Cosby’s alleged victims, is interested in filing a class-action lawsuit against the comedian. [Fox News Latino]
* If you’re interested, here’s all of the testimony and evidence that was presented to the grand jury that resulted in no true bill for Darren Wilson in the Michael Brown shooting. [Associated Press]
* HBO hired a team of 160 lawyers to look at its film adaptation of Lawrence Wright’s book about Scientology. The power of thetans compels them to keep churning that bill, baby. [Hollywood Reporter]
* “The Constitution is not a math problem,” but it seems like the Supreme Court is playing a numbers game when it comes to its decisions having to do with same-sex marriage. What’s the magic number for SCOTUS to take a case? [New York Times]
* It’s official: Morgan Lewis has gobbled up most of Bingham McCutchen ahead of the Thanksgiving holiday. Stick a fork in it, because Morgan Lewis is done — it’s now stuffed full of more lawyers than any other firm in the country. [Philadelphia Inquirer]
* Emerson Briggs III, an ex-partner at Hunton & Williams, is facing disbarment in D.C. over the child pornography he downloaded at work. Oh, how the mighty have fallen: he’s been working as a paralegal since being disbarred in New York. [Legal Times]
* Patricia Nesci, a law firm secretary, allegedly forged a judge’s signature on an order to show cause to keep herself from being evicted from her home earlier this month. She apparently did not get a Biglaw-style bonus from her former firm. [Syracuse.com]
* Before you submit your applications, you should try creating a budget to see just how financially screwed you’ll be during and after law school, and then compare it to your pre-law school budget. Try not to cry. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]
Justice Scalia has the right to bear an electric guitar — or at least a Guitar Hero prop — and diss his fellow justices in this number.
Justice Scalia asks, “what kind of a mad prosecutor” would bring this case?