TSA

Airplanes / Aviation

Non-Sequiturs: 08.02.12

* Last year, the TSA was supposed to hold public hearings about those naked body scanners everyone loves so much, but they still haven’t done it (surprise, surprise). Now the D.C. Circuit is starting to get angry. [Wired / Threat Level] * Is there really life, hope, and maybe even an associate position beyond doc review work? This writer thinks so. [Greedy Associates] * Remember the man convicted of murder who claimed that “celebrity angels and demons” told him to do it? His mistress and coworker of has now been arrested and charged as well. [AJC] * This is a comic strip about a bear who also happens to be a lawyer. It is silly but also surprisingly clever, and funny jokes abound. [Bear Lawyer] * Apple fired back at John Quinn regarding his declaration in the Apple / Samsung trial, and then the company filed “an emergency motion for sanctions” with Judge Lucy Koh. I think everyone in this case needs to take a timeout and cool their jets for a while. [Bloomberg] * I mean, the trial is so hostile, the parties can’t even agree on the name of the case. [All Things D] * Who murdered Robert Wone? The mystery looms as large today as it did six years ago. [Who Murdered Robert Wone] * Holy s**t, this is like a real-life, Chinese version of “I’m Oscar! Dot com!” [Slate]

By Christopher Danzig
Fashion

Non-Sequiturs: 07.17.12

* I’m not sure why Romney won’t just say that he lied to the SEC about when he left Bain. Lying to the SEC is just good business. Lying to the American people is something that politicians are only supposed to do for sex. [Wonkblog / Washington Post] * Character and fitness can be a surprisingly tough hurdle, so I’ve been told. [The Toronto Star] * Here are the top law faculties by scholarship. I’d bet this list and the list for top law faculties by salary are pretty similar. [Brian Leiter's Law School Reports] * Ed Hayes gets another profile, a dandy profile this time. [The Dandy Portraits] * This is a highlight reel of terrible lawyer ads. [Strategist via Findlaw] * Man with the largest penis gets frisked by TSA. When asked to comment, Sam said, “This is how we keep motherf***in snakes off the motherf***in planes.” [Hufffington Post] * Congratulations to the general counsel of Viacom. [Hollywood Reporter]

By Elie Mystal
Abortion

Non-Sequiturs: 06.19.12

* Another year, another survey that shows prospective law students care more about the U.S. News Law School Rankings than anything else when applying to law school. In fact, it’s the exact same number from 2010. Kids are dumb. [Kaplan] * Everybody is worried about what will happen when computers replace attorneys. I’m much more interested in what will happen when computers replace hookers. [The Atlantic] * If watching our Congress ask idiot questions of Jamie Dimon doesn’t make you feel like we need vastly more intelligent Congresspeople, maybe watching them fawn over Jamie Dimon will do the trick. [Dealbreaker] * I really hadn’t thought of this — in addition to your huge educational debts, your parents are most likely out there spending your inheritance. I swear, if I ever spend money on more education, it’s going to be on a post-apocalyptic survivalist class. [Law and More] * Former TSA lady gropes current TSA lady after inappropriate groping from TSA. [Threat Level / Wired] * In real life, unlike Monopoly, a bank error is never really in your favor. [Legal Blog Watch] * Do the Republicans have an abortion problem? [New Yorker] * Happy Birthday, Lat! Check out the very cool gift (affiliate link) that he received in the mail today — signed by one of the authors. [Twitpic via Twitter]

By Elie Mystal
Cocaine / Crack

Non-Sequiturs: 05.11.12

* Stab your lawyer with a pencil once, shame on you. Stab him a second time, shame on me. Stab him a third time, they will strap you to your chair with a “stun cuff” so it doesn’t happen a fourth time. [Legal Blog Watch] * (Crack) cocaine is a hell of a drug. [Legal Juice] * A first-person account of why you don’t ever, ever want to end up in central booking. [The Crown] * Telling opposing counsel you hope she “sleep[s] with the fishes” is mean and inappropriate. But on top of that, what the heck do you even stand to gain from saying that sort of thing? [Minneapolis StarTribune] * If you want to complain about racial profiling at airports, there’s an app for that! [Prawfsblawg] * To catch (an alleged) law school predator. Icky. [Delaware Online] * Seriously? This “Is it Kanye or the LSAT?” quiz is surprisingly tricky. [LSAT Blog]

By Christopher Danzig
Airplanes / Aviation

Morning Docket: 04.26.12

* Dewey need to take a look at the Biglaw industry in general before more firms implode? Hell yes, says an author who’s written on the economics and management of law firms. [DealBook / New York Times] * Wal-Mart was served with its first shareholder suit over its alleged bribery scandal, because the only thing on rollback this week is the price of the company’s stock shares. [Reuters] * Does diplomatic immunity give you a free pass for getting handsy with the maid? Guess we’ll see next week, when a judge rules on DSK’s motion to dismiss his civil suit. [New York Daily News] * As long as you’ve got money, the TSA will totally look the other way if you’ve got suitcases filled with drugs. Vibrators, on the other hand, are simply out of the question. [Bloomberg] * As of yesterday, Connecticut became the seventeenth state to kill the death penalty. But not so fast, death row inmates. You still get to die. Isn’t that nice? [CNN] * Franchise agreements be damned, because even judges can understand that sometimes, you just need to eat a delicious sandwich while you’re getting a lap dance. [KTVN]

By Staci Zaretsky
Airplanes / Aviation

Non-Sequiturs: 02.15.12

* Nothing beats a calm, collected, religion-based benchslap of religious hypocrisy. [Tex Parte Blog] * If our parents hadn’t gotten us vaccinated, we’d fire them, too. Jenny McCarthy should jump into a freakin’ volcano. [Volokh Conspiracy] * It must be so hard to write fake news when it all starts coming true. [The Onion] * […]

By Staci Zaretsky & Christopher Danzig
Airplanes / Aviation

Non-Sequiturs: 01.19.12

* Dressing shrinks as wizards when they testify would be an AWESOME idea. I’m serious. Why can’t we have this? And titles, too. “Your Honor, I call Dr. Freud — Ph.D in weakness management and keeper of the sacred staffs of Ivory guard — to the stand.” [Overlawyered] * iTextbooks! Could be awesome, could widen […]

By Elie Mystal
Accounting / Accountants

Non-Sequiturs: 12.21.11

* A Pennsylvania appeals court ruled that selling sex for Phillies tickets doesn’t make you a prostitute. She was already a Phillies fan, so calling her a whore was redundant. [Legal Blog Watch] * Occupy Wall Street is looking for a few good accountants. Man, they are about six months from telling us that some […]

By David Lat & Elie Mystal
Airplanes / Aviation

Morning Docket: 10.27.11

* Like many of the victims of Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme, he and his wife contemplated suicide, too. But come on, why bother? Was career suicide just not good enough? [New York Times] * For Sale: One Illinois law license at discount price! Hasn’t been used in 15 years — almost like new. Slightly tarnished. […]

By Staci Zaretsky
Airplanes / Aviation

Non-Sequiturs: 10.24.11

* The TSA must be stopped. They’re now leaving creepy notes when they spy personal items in your luggage. [Not So Private Parts / Forbes] * Law students, trust me, there’s nothing on your Facebook page that three more points on the LSAT won’t fix. [WSJ Law Blog] * Berkeley Law 1Ls are playing an […]

By Elie Mystal
9/11

Morning Docket: 09.21.11

* Hey, Preet Bharara, even Lady Gaga can read your poker face when you’re going all in on an allegation of Full Tilt Ponzi. Maybe Lederer and Ferguson will finally fold. [Wall Street Journal] * You know what this country really needs? More doctors who don’t believe in science. Another stem cell research case is […]

By Staci Zaretsky
Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 09.12.11

* Now that the guy who invented the TSA admits he made a mistake, I think he and J. Robert Oppenheimer should get jackets made. Oppenheimer’s could say “I am become death.” The TSA guy’s says “I am become fear.” [Constitutional Daily] * Practicing financial services attorneys, be honest: regardless of your political affiliation you […]

By Elie Mystal