* Parents of Boston bombing victim Martin Richard are hoping their child’s murderer avoids the distracting spectacle of the death penalty. [Boston Globe]
* Local prosecutor may have been munching down on pot brownies. [Al.com]
* At least the Middle District of Florida is willing to throw a speed bump into the Kardashians’ continuing assault on the human spirit. [South Florida Lawyers]
* Jesus, overcriminalization is stupid: Atlanta teacher cheating edition. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
* Note that cheating among poor inner-city kids demands the criminal justice system, while cheating at Stanford is a curiosity. [TaxProf Blog]
* Meet the labor lawyer who has it in for Uber. [Fusion]
* The phrase “fart clears courtroom” is always going to be a story. [Legal Cheek]
* Trouble in paradise? Well, no. But trouble in D.C.: American University law professor accuses George Washington Law of predatory poaching. [TaxProf Blog]
* America should offer a $200 tax credit for political contributions. As always, you can buy more tax loopholes with higher contributions. [Los Angeles Times]
* Baby justices are hatching from their eggs. [The Onion]
* New York City Council member is looking to cap Uber’s surge pricing at 2x. Or, you know, people could use the function on the app that tells you how much you’re going to be charged. [Gawker]
* Continuing analysis of the California Bar Exam results. In case you were wondering how the correspondence and distance learning schools performed. [Bar Exam Stats]
* The Supreme Court hands down an interesting sentencing law opinion today. Finally, I got a FantasySCOTUS prediction (mostly) right! [Sentencing Law and Policy]
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* The NAACP Legal Defense Fund took to Twitter to name every unarmed person of color killed by the police since 1999. Gawker compiled short bios on each. [Gawker]
* Pillsbury just moved into a cozy little office. Emphasis on “little.” [The National Law Journal]
* Georgetown Law students of color raise similar concerns as Columbia students. Again, I don’t understand emotional trauma and I definitely think extensions should be measured in days and not weeks, but it strikes me all the people complaining about the extensions are just exposing themselves as bad students. If you think your neighbor getting 2 more days will hurt your grade, you’re the one with the studying problem. [Georgetown Law Coalition]
* And now Harvard. [Harvard Law Coalition]
* If you rent a refrigerator, you consent to an arbitrator hearing your case after a repairman robs and beats you. Sounds about right. [Public Justice]
* Uber ban after rape allegations. [Redline]
* The Supreme Court told BP that no matter how much it tried, it can’t slip out of its settlement agreement like an oil-soaked seagull. [Think Progress]
* Finally, in the wake of the Eric Garner case, it’s worth looking back at what Justice Marshall told us about police chokeholds. [Mother Jones]
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* Barack Obama laid out his plans for an immigration overhaul last night, daring the members of Congress to pass a bill if they didn’t like it. Consider that to be a presidential burn. [New York Times]
* Who’s got the God View now? In an effort to stop pissing off its paying customers, Uber hired Harriet Pearson of Hogan Lovells to take a look at its data-privacy practices. [Bloomberg]
* Dean Jack Boger of UNC Law will be stepping down this summer. He says his journey to deanship started in hell and ended in paradise. We’re not sure law students ever get out of the hellscape. [Daily Tar Heel]
* South Texas College of Law launched an Oil & Gas Law Institute in the hope of making its graduates’ résumés look pretty enough to get them jobs. [Texas Lawyer]
* Darren Wilson, the Ferguson cop who killed Michael Brown, is in talks to resign ahead of a grand jury’s decision on whether or not to indict him. Wise choice? [CNN]
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* Lawyers from top New York City firms like Skadden, Proskauer, Stikeman, Weil Gotshal, Kaye Scholer, and Bailey Duquette took to the ice to compete for the Lawyers’ Cup. The team with Canadian imports won, obviously. [Forbes]
* Andre Bouchard was nominated to replace Judge Leo Strine as Chancellor of the Delaware Court of Chancery. We can only hope he’ll be as outspoken as his predecessor. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]
* UNC Law has been receiving fewer applications, and perhaps that’s the reason why its acceptance rates have gone up, up, up — from 36 percent to 45 percent — in the last year alone. Yikes. [Daily Tar Heel]
* A woman alleges her Uber driver “fondled [her] legs, groin area and breasts” as she tried to give him directions. That extra customer service is what makes it cost more during peak times. [Chicago Tribune]
* A watch repairman was so pissed about this Yelp review he sicced his lawyer on the man who handed out the two-star report. Of course his lawyer’s one-paragraph demand letter barely makes sense. [Gawker]
Perhaps this Biglaw partner should stop hating on Bloomberg and spend more time editing?
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