United Kingdom / Great Britain
* Same-sex couple says their Eagle Scout badges helped prepare them for marriage. I don’t remember badges for nagging incessantly and dealing with your goddamned mother-in-law. [The Atlantic]
* The British legal system: Now with more farting! [Legal Cheek]
* #wheninlawschool and the cast of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia comment on the 3L job market. [#wheninlawschool]
* Out in Michigan, Judge Wade McCree is suspended with pay in escrow. Say it ain’t so? He’s had such a sterling reputation before this. [My Fox Detroit]
* Because “You’ve Barely Gotten Anywhere” doesn’t have the same ring of female empowerment. [The Careerist]
* You may think there wasn’t more to say about University of Denver dean Martin Katz’s bogus plea for more students. But you’d be wrong. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]
* A pretty good description of American reactions to the drone strike memo. [The Onion]
* The woman who flipped off a judge has apologized. [NBC Miami]
* And Elie just sent me this one: “Sometimes, illegal hackers reveal something so beautiful they cannot be charged with a crime.” [Free Beacon]
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* Congress isn’t standing up to the Supreme Court as much as it used to. [SCOTUSblog]
* The Second Circuit really wants you to use a current email address. [Find Law]
* A bar exam for teachers? Why would we create a system that would make BAR/BRI more money? [Constitutional Daily]
* I kind of wish that everybody who offers an opinion on gun safety laws was required to have a law degree just so they could understand what’s actually being proposed. [Media Matters]
* Not that getting a bunch of constitutional lawyers together is a recipe for compromise on the Second Amendment. I just want people to know what’s being talked about. [Huffington Post]
* Stupid law firm slogan time! [Legal Cheek]
* Henry Blodget defends internet trolls everywhere. [The Awl]
* Here’s the answer to the question everyone’s been asking since December: the Supreme Court will be hearing the gay-marriage cases on March 26 (Prop 8) and March 27 (Windsor). No extra time for args? [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]
* Wherein Scott Greenfield responds to Mark Herrmann’s thoughts on bench memos — or, in Greenfield’s words, why our important appellate decisions shouldn’t be left “in the hands of children” (aka law clerks). [Simple Justice]
* Will the latest massive mortgage settlements lead to lawyer layoffs? [Going Concern]
* Cy Vance’s ears must’ve been ringing when this opinion came out, because the judges on this appellate panel said the prosecution’s case was based on “pure conjecture bolstered by empty rhetoric.” [WiseLawNY]
* Apparently a Santa Clara law professor is getting pummeled in the comments on various law blogs because of his thoughts on law school. As Rihanna would say, “Shine bright like Steve Diamond.” [Constitutional Daily]
* Meditation and mindfulness are more mainstream than ever in the practice of law, but given all the tales of stressed out lawyers’ alleged misconduct we hear about, you certainly wouldn’t know it. [Underdog]
* And from our friends at RollOnFriday, you can see what the folks at Norton Rose do in their spare time….
Thanks to the Norton Rose / Fulbright & Jaworski merger, lawyers at Fulbright will soon be working Gangnam Style with all of this fabulosity. Aren’t you excited to be joining them in doing the hallway horsey dance?
* I didn’t make this list of the 25 most influential people in legal education. That pisses me off. I’m going to start writing about how people shouldn’t trust legal educators because law schools are only interested in profits and not the employment outcomes of their students. That’ll show ‘em! [Tax Prof Blog]
* … Of course, you know what else doesn’t make any list of influencing legal education? The truth. [Constitutional Daily]
* This has been a big day for our friends at Thomson Reuters and at LexisNexis. [3 Geeks and a Law Blog]
* Time Warner Cable is well within its rights to act like feckless cowards. [Huffington Post]
* I like watching the Feds try to roll rich people. I’ve got no horse in the race, I’m just there for the competition. [Dealbreaker]
* U.K. considers forcing fat people to lose weight in order to keep their benefits. I was going to make a “Britain, outsource, BBW” joke, which somehow led me to the Wikipedia page for BBW, a page that has really not at all what you’d expect the graphic on BBW to be. [Legal Blog Watch]
A lawyer from London doesn’t think women need to close the door on their professional careers after having children, and rightly so.
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In-house columnist Mark Herrmann now lives in London — and he can’t believe the real estate prices over there. Partners at major law firms in London can’t afford to live in the city itself….
* Can we please fill this Facebook pay-for-posts rabbit hole with cement, ASAP? Then let’s grow a forest on top of the cement, and then napalm the whole thing for good measure. [Not-So Private Parts / Forbes]
* In America, law school dropouts turn to aggressive blogging. In Syria, they join the rebel army. [LA Times]
* A U.S. judge upholds the government’s indictment of Kim Dotcom and Megaupload, despite the whole “they’re based in another hemisphere” snag. The only tricky part is getting him here. [Ars Technica]
* This insane wedding ended with a dead uncle, a relative in jail, and several dozen cops on the scene. I”ll bet ten-to-one Zach Galifianakis was somewhere nearby. [Dealbreaker]
* Hello, Jimmy, welcome to the Pleasantville Middle School Scrapbooking Club! We’re so glad to have you. But, first, could you please pee in this cup? [Overlawyered]
* This is an amusing video of British law students sucking up to William and Kate. More importantly, a reminder that Kate is gorgeous, even when she is unpixelated and wearing clothes. [Legal Cheek]
Alan Dershowitz, Jeffrey Toobin, John Roberts, Lawyerly Lairs, Layoffs, Non-Sequiturs, SCOTUS, Secretaries / Administrative Assistants, Sentencing Law, Staff Layoffs, Supreme Court, United Kingdom / Great Britain, Videos, YouTube
* In light of Chief Justice Roberts’s historic vote to uphold Obamacare, should we expect JGR to be more liberal going forward? According to Jeffrey Toobin, author of The Oath (affiliate link), “Do not expect a new John Roberts. Expect the conservative he has always been.” [Talking Points Memo via How Appealing]
* Law firm staff layoffs: they’re not just an American thing. Slaughter and May is dropping the ax on 28 secretaries. [Roll On Friday]
* “[A]ny robot or high school graduate can calculate numbers in a matrix to arrive at the highest possible sentence. But it takes a Judge — a man or woman tempered by experience in life and law — to properly judge another human being’s transgressions.” [Justice Building Blog]
* Professor Dershowitz’s $4 million Cambridge mansion? Robert Wenzel is not impressed: “if I lived in that house, I would want to attack Iran and most of the rest of the world, also.” [Economic Policy Journal]
* A man sues a strip club, alleging that a stripper ruptured his bladder when she slid down a pole and onto his abdomen. Ouch. [Legally Weird / Findlaw]
* Still on the subject of Torts, two attractive blonde sisters walk into a bar — and discuss who can be held liable if a man suffers a heart attack during a threesome. Video after the jump….
Is it worth buying a Twitter following? This law firm thought so, but now they may want to reconsider.
Kate MIddleton wins a French court ruling protecting the privacy of those topless sunbathing photos.
9th Circuit, Alex Kozinski, Bankruptcy, Biglaw, Breasts, Dewey & LeBoeuf, H. Rodgin Cohen, Morning Docket, Pictures, Privacy, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, Supreme Court Clerks, United Kingdom / Great Britain
* Come on, people, Dewey really think that it’s fair that these proposed partnership clawback settlements blame only us for the firm’s implosion? The Steves and ex-CFO Joel Sanders don’t think so. [Bloomberg]
* “[E]ven if partners’ capital contributions were used to repay Dewey’s indebtedness—so what?” Well, that’s certainly one way to defend a suit alleging Citibank’s participation in a Ponzi-like scheme. [Am Law Daily]
* A $280K bonus sure seems nice, but do all Supreme Court clerks choose life in Biglaw once they’ve completed their stints at the high court? As it turns out, the answer is no — some view the money as “golden handcuffs.” [Wall Street Journal]
* Because nobody can ogle these crown jewels except Prince William: the royals’ potential suit against Closer magazine over topless pics of Kate Middleton has turned into full-blown privacy proceeding. [New York Times]
* If you’re struggling in law school, it may be wise to take some advice from those who’ve been there before you, like SullCrom’s Rodge Cohen, the Ninth Circuit’s Chief Judge Alex Kozinski. [National Law Journal]