Violence

Animal Law

Morning Docket: 12.28.12

* “I’m sorry Ms. Jackson, I am for real. Never meant to make your planet cry, I apologize a trillion times,” is likely what Barack Obama told Lisa Jackson when he found out she was stepping down as EPA administrator. [New York Times] * Cook County, Illinois, is experiencing problems wherein the kookiest of judges get “electoral mulligans” every six years. Public humiliation and harsh ratings might be a great way to finally put an end to this practice. [Chicago Magazine] * Another way to get revenge against the schools that screwed grads with their allegedly misleading employment stats: disciplinary action for ethical violations committed by those licensed to practice law. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)] * What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, unless you’re accused of being a murderer birderer. Boalt Hall law students Justin Teixeira and Eric Cuellar have now been criminally charged for their alleged roles in the decapitation of an exotic bird. [Las Vegas Sun] * Harvard Law is offering a free online copyright class, and anyone can enroll — even 13-year-olds. This may be your only chance to take a course at an Ivy League school, so hurry up and apply. [National Law Journal] * George Zimmerman and his lawyer are being sued by a private detective for failure to pay $27K for security services, which included a detailed escape plan to get the murder defendant into a hidey-hole. [Boston Herald]

By Staci Zaretsky
Attorney Misconduct

Morning Docket: 12.17.12

* “To do nothing in the face of pending disaster is to be complicit. It’s time to act. It’s time to vote.” What a convenient time to discover that the Department of Justice tabled new gun control proposals in favor of an upcoming election campaign. [New York Times] * Rumor has it that the president will nominate Senator John Kerry to be secretary of state for his second term. Upon hearing the news, Hillary Clinton updated her Tumblr page before she caught a case of the vapors, fainted, and got herself all concussed. [CNN] * “If you don’t know, then you have to plan for the worst.” Everyone’s pissed off about the possibility of being pushed off the fiscal cliff, but on the bright side, it’s creating a mountain of billables. [National Law Journal] * Remember the judge who resigned after he accidentally showed a colleague a picture of the “judicial penis”? He was removed from office by a judicial ethics panel. How very effective. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer] * And for the talent portion of the competition, Alicia Guastaferro, the pageant princess who was picked up for prostitution after getting caught with an attorney, will have her hooking charges dropped. [Huffington Post]

By Staci Zaretsky
Alan Dershowitz

Non-Sequiturs: 11.20.12

* Better late than never: congratulations to everyone who passed the New Jersey bar exam. You’re just in time to get in on some Sandy class-action litigation. [New Jersey Board of Bar Examiners] * Congratulations to all the honorees from the National Asian Pacific American Bar Association conference in D.C. last weekend — including, but not limited to, the Best Lawyers Under 40 awardees. [NAPABA] * And congrats to Professor Sherrilyn Ifill, incoming president and director-counsel of the NAACP Legal Defense & Educational Fund, Inc. [Concurring Opinions] * Does every bra made in America have Gloria Allred’s phone number sewn into it? [WSJ Law Blog] * Who is “Portfolio Manager A” in the latest major insider-trading scandal? [Dealbreaker] * You don’t need to be a dog lover to find these allegations abhorrent. [Alabama Live] * Want to avoid dating Democrats (or Republicans)? There’s an app — okay, two websites — for that. [Jezebel] * After the jump, Jeffrey Toobin and Alan Dershowitz discuss Obamacare…. Toobin is the author of The Oath (affiliate link). Dersowitz is the new owner of a $1.7 million Manhattan apartment. Their conversation took place last Friday, November 16, at the 92nd Street Y.

By David Lat
Guns / Firearms

Non-Sequiturs: 11.09.12

* You can take our lives, but you can never take our freedom to slowly take our own lives by smoking cigarettes in public! [U.S. Eighth Circuit / FindLaw] * Some humorously sketchy legal advice, courtesy of Reddit. [Associate's Mind] * A Russian in-house attorney got dumped and then allegedly went to work and shot seven people. [ABA Journal] * L.A. County voted to force porn stars to wear condoms during shoots. In other news, the entire porn industry packed up yesterday and moved to… somewhere outside L.A. County. [Legal Blog Watch] * Dean Boland, one of Paul Ceglia’s ex-lawyers, just lost an appeal of a $300K judgment after he allegedly manipulated “photos that depicted minors engaged in sex acts.” [WSJ Law Blog] * Elie says: You’d think that covering up your own extra-marital affairs would be part of the CIA Director entrance exam. [New York Times]

By Christopher Danzig
Barack Obama

Morning Docket: 10.16.12

* Check out the absurd rules governing tonight’s presidential debate. Should make for some awesome boring-as-hell television. And yes, of course the rules document was signed by lawyers. [Gawker] * Chinese politics is starting to adversely affect American law firms. Next thing you know, attorneys will be hiding out in the woods, drinking deer blood. Oh wait, that kind of already happened. [Asian Lawyer] * Despite the passage of time, mentioning torture at a Guantanamo hearing is still about as awkward as… some generic Family Guy-style non sequitur. [Thomson Reuters News and Insight] * This is a newly released video of NYPD kicking the ever-loving sh*t out of a homeless man, who was inexplicably charged with assaulting the officer who, again, beat him up on video. Inside a synagogue. Where the man was sleeping. With permission. Can’t wait to see the lawsuit that comes out of this. [Gothamist] * SCOTUS has agreed to review the Arizona voter ID law. Oh goodie. [WSJ Law Blog]

By Christopher Danzig