The Clerkship Archipelago

The People's Therapist, Will Meyerhofer, thinks it's hard to conjure up bad stuff to say about clerking. It's an honor, and an all-expense-paid ticket on an exclusive legal gravy train. If you're lucky enough to clerk for a federal district or circuit court judge, you can rest assured you're looking good and feeling good. You might even shoot the moon and sing with the Supremes. In that case, you're good to go: You'll never have to practice actual law again....

Ed. note: This post is by Will Meyerhofer, a former Sullivan & Cromwell attorney turned psychotherapist. He holds degrees from Harvard, NYU Law, and The Hunter College School of Social Work, and he blogs at The People’s Therapist. His new book, Way Worse Than Being A Dentist, is available on Amazon, as is his previous book, Life is a Brief Opportunity for Joy (affiliate links).

It’s hard to conjure up bad stuff to say about clerking. It’s an honor, and an all-expense-paid ticket on an exclusive legal gravy train. If you’re lucky enough to clerk for a federal district or circuit court judge, you can rest assured you’re looking good and feeling good.

You might even shoot the moon and sing with the Supremes. In that case, you’re good to go: You’ll never have to practice actual law again. You can sign up now to teach a seminar on “Law and Interpretive Dance” at Yale or attend sumptuous international human rights conferences hosted by African dictators. Life is good at the top. Imagine the stimulation of interacting one-on-one with the mind of a Clarence Thomas (and acquiring access to his porn collection.) You could be the clerk who builds an ironclad case striking down universal access to healthcare — or witness the day Justice T opens his mouth to speak during oral argument….

Even if you’re clerking for an obscure political hack (which is the norm), as a clerk you qualify to skip out of Biglaw hell. The deal — as you probably know — is thus: you get to work non-law firm hours for a year, then return to the firm as though you’d suffered with the other monkeys. If you finish two clerkships, you double your fun and skip two years of Hell-on-Earth — then return with a third-year’s salary!

Clerking gigs can be hard work — you could be researching and writing twelve hours a day. But you’re not putting in weekends, and thanks to the court calendar, there are slow times built into the schedule. Your judge could turn out to be geriatric and losing his marbles (not a rare occurrence), or simply a lunatic — but you’re still doing substantive, important work — rather than, say, researching an un-busy partner’s attempt at a treatise or frying your brain with doc review.

Clerking is a sweet deal — one good reason to do litigation instead of corporate. As a clerk, you might learn something. That’s probably not going to happen as a junior doing corporate.

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Yes, there’s a catch, and it’s a whopper: Most clerkships — a whole lot of clerkships — require relocating to the middle of freakin’ nowhere.

Continue reading over at The People’s Therapist….

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