If he’s having trouble judging homosexuals, well, then I’m his man. I have over a quarter century of professional experience.
— Justice Antonin Scalia, in comments supposedly made to reporters after offering to assist Pope Francis in his judgment of gays and lesbians. Scalia, referring to himself as “the master,” also noted that he “wasn’t great at judging homosexuals [in his] first year in the job, either.”
(N.B. Actually, this comes to us via The Borowitz Report, a satirical column published in the New Yorker that is written by comedian Andy Borowitz.)