Lawyer With 3 Harvard Degrees Loses His Mind Over $4 Chinese Food Overcharge

Have you ever met a lawyer whose head is shoved so far up his own ass that he doesn’t realize what a complete and utter a-hole he’s being? We think you have, but if you haven’t, we’ve written about these people ad nauseam.

These lawyers think they’re such hot stuff that the public absolutely adores it when they’re shamed and humiliated. Today’s miserly attorney has given the masses one more really great reason to hate lawyers.

Benjamin Edelman is a man with not one, not two, but three — count ’em! — three degrees from Harvard (and technically, he’s got a fourth, an A.M. presumably tossed in with his Ph.D.). His undergraduate degree is from Harvard (summa cum laude), his law degree is from Harvard, and his doctorate degree is from Harvard. He even works at Harvard. He’s clearly of the opinion his s**t doesn’t stink.

This man is dripping with prestige, and he deserves to be treated with respect, damn it. No one crosses Ben Edelman, no one. One inconsequential wrong is simply too much for Ben Edelman to bear. Unfortunately, it seems that last week, Ben Edelman was overcharged by $4 on his Chinese food bill. This injustice won’t stand.

Ben Edelman is a scholar, a gentleman, and a lawyer, and he DEMANDS he be recompensed for his troubles. He wrote a series of miserly emails to Sichuan Garden, a small, family-owned Chinese restaurant in Brookline, Massachusetts, in an attempt to display his legal prowess and exact his revenge for shredded chicken, sauteed prawns, stir fried chicken, and braised fish filets that were $4 too expensive.

Here’s the string of emails, courtesy of Boston.com:

Man, do Massholes love treble damages. Here’s the thing, though: Edelman is misreading the M.G.L. 93(a), the Massachusetts law with which he sought to pwn Sichuan Garden. This law simply doesn’t mandate treble damages; instead it provides for a recovery of $25 or the actual damages, whichever is greater. Ran Duan, an employee of the restaurant, made Edelman a reasonable offer of $4 to settle all claims. If this ever goes to trial — which it won’t, if Edelman has any shred of dignity left — the good professor would be limited to damages of $4, Sichuan Garden’s reasonable offer.

This is absolutely absurd because Edelman is just plain wrong. Perhaps he was having an allergic reaction to all of that Ivy he’s used to stroking himself with to feel better about life on the day he made these legal claims. Otherwise, he might just be a gigantic d-bag who tried to threaten and mislead an unrepresented party into giving him more than what he was entitled to under the law.

To try and rescue their university’s reputation, some Harvard students have started a campaign to collect $4 donations for a local food bank. Meanwhile, per Boston.com, Ben Edelman is still contemplating whether he’ll go ahead with a lawsuit against Sichuan Garden. Oh dear. Bless this hoity-toity Harvard lawyer’s heart.

Please, hate this lawyer — it’s what he deserves.

UPDATE (5:40 p.m.): Ben Edelman just issued an apology for his atrocious behavior:

Many people have seen my emails with Ran Duan of Sichuan Garden restaurant in Brookline.

Having reflected on my interaction with Ran, including what I said and how I said it, it’s clear that I was very much out of line. I aspire to act with great respect and humility in dealing with others, no matter what the situation. Clearly I failed to do so. I am sorry, and I intend to do better in the future.

I have reached out to Ran and will apologize to him personally as well.

It took a nationwide public shaming for this man to realize that he acted like an ass. Nice work, America. Congratulations on a job well done.

Ben Edelman, Harvard Business School Professor, Goes to War Over $4 Worth of Chinese Food [Boston.com]
Donations urged amid Harvard professor’s Chinese-food fight [Boston.com]

Earlier: ‘I’m A Lawyer’ Threat Ends In Internet Humiliation
Why People Hate Lawyers