Is Trial By Combat Coming To NYC?

Is this a fever dream caused by a dangerous combination of limoncello and binge watching Game of Thrones? Nope. It is an honest to goodness, real-life court filing requesting a trial by combat.

Well, I am kinda foolin’ ya since this is a story about an attorney from Staten Island, not really the city (I am from there, I am allowed to make these jokes). But this isn’t a fever dream caused by a dangerous combination of limoncello and binge watching Game of Thrones, it is an honest to goodness, real-life court filing requesting a trial by combat.

Listen, Staten Islanders — I know that a BOAT is still a popular method of conveyance (and not in a rich person, yacht-y kind of a way), but it is not actually the 1700s, so maybe layoff on the antiquated legal procedures? No? Okay then. Bring on the trial by combat.

I guess this is how we do it in the rugged lands of Shaolin — at least in a post-George R.R. Martin world.

Attorney Richard A. Luthmann is the defendant in a lawsuit which alleges he advised a client to liquidate assets and transfer them “beyond the reach of creditors,” such that when the plaintiffs sought money they were owed by Luthmann’s client, they were unable to recover the money. So the next step for the plaintiffs was to sue the lawyer. Luthmann strongly contests these allegations, and he has some choice phrases for the plaintiffs:

[W]hen viewed in a light most favorable to opposing counsel – [the allegations can] only be termed as a glorified comic book piled on top of pure and adulterated extortion wrapped in a transparent abuse of legal process.

Well, why don’t you tell us how you really feel. Oh, he does — calling the plaintiffs “professional thugs.” Glorious.

Luthmann also has little respect for plaintiffs’ counsel, querying:

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[W]hether opposing counsel was asleep the day in law school when they actually practiced law.

Sick burn.

So it seems Luthmann is mad as hell and he isn’t going to take it anymore. Fair enough. But he wants to put more than just words on the line — bankruptcy is something he “intends to pursue before extortionists [plaintiffs] take a red cent of his hard-earned money.”

But is there another way to really amp up the stakes? Faced with, what he believes, is an absurd lawsuit, Luthman responded in kind, requesting the said trial by combat. From the Staten Island Advance (pronounced add-vance in my best Staten Island intonation):

“They want to be absurd about what they’re trying to do, then I’ll give them back ridiculousness in kind,” said Luthmann, an admitted fan of “Game of Thrones,” the smash HBO series based on the George R.R. Martin books in which three disputes have been settled in its five seasons through bloody trials by combat.

“If these people want to insist on having it out, then we’ll have it out,” said Luthmann, who’s tilted at a few windmills over the years, as evidenced by his numerous battles with local Democratic Party leaders.

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And, though he admits the absurdity of the request, Luthmann is still rocking a legal argument, specifically the 9th Amendment:

But he insists there’s a bigger Constitutional issue here: Exactly what rights are protected under the Ninth Amendment?

The amendment protects all the rights of the people not mentioned specifically elsewhere in the Constitution. In this case, it’s trial by combat, says Luthmann.

“The judge may look askance at it, but I’m prepared to take it to the highest level,” Luthmann said. “I’d love to have a court determine whether we have those rights under the Constitution.”

At least Luthmann knows there are personal and professional risks involved in this cockamany scheme:

The lawyer realizes his request for mortal combat isn’t without personal risk.

“One of the inconveniences of this procedure is, that the party who institutes it must be willing, if required, to stake his life in support of his accusation,” he wrote.

Luthmann may be sticking his neck out professionally, as well.

He acknowledged the judge could take a dim view of his request, when a reporter asked him that question.

A court might take a “dim view of his request”? That is just the ultimate in understatement. Well played. You’d think that a place known for spawning Mob Wives wouldn’t get nuance, but welp, you’d be wrong — and pleasantly so.

Read the rest of the insults and a quite-detailed history on trial by combat in the full brief on the next page.

Real-life Game of Thrones: Lawyer seeks trial by combat to resolve lawsuit [Staten Island Advance]

Earlier: Trial By Combat: It Was Real And Spectacular