Non-Sequiturs: 08.05.15

* George W. Bush shows up for jury duty. Sadly he wasn't empaneled, which was a real shame for the prosecutors because you know he doesn't need actual evidence to make bold decisions. [ABC News] * Oops. Top Rand Paul operatives indicted. Jesus, Trump really is going to win this campaign, isn't he? (skip to the next page to read the whole indictment). [National Journal] * Here's a clever way to get out of a traffic stop: call in a nearby murder. [Legal Juice] * Performance-enhancing drugs are becoming a scourge in... eSports. Apparently getting really twisted on Adderall and playing StarCraft II for money is a thing. Well, pack it in everyone. We had a good run, human civilization. [The Legal Geeks] * “A wealthy oligarchy of donors is dominating the 2016 election.” Not true. Based on the polls it's dominated by an oligarchy of one. [Election Law Blog] * Approximately 1.2 million New Yorkers have open arrest warrants. That... seems like a lot. Probably time to do something like this to restore sanity. [Talking Points Memo] * Partner Emeritus has thoughts on summer associates. [What About Clients?] * "Pay your f**king bill... don't be a f**king shlub." [South Florida Lawyers] * Lex Machina is offering a free trial to its news Trademark Litigation Update newsletter. [Lex Machina] https://www.scribd.com/doc/273626010/Benton-Et-Al-Indictment