Would You Represent Donald Trump?

I don’t know if you all have heard — it was really under the radar in the media — but Donald Trump has been saying some controversial things lately about Muslims. Namely, that he would ban all Muslims from entering the United States. Not just Cat Stevens, but… All. Muslims. “A total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what is going on.”

This column assumes for the sake of argument that you are against that position. Vehemently against it. Outraged by it, even. (And if you’re not, you’re definitely not one of my Facebook friends.)

So what if Donald Trump walked into your office right now and asked you to represent him? Let’s also assume you are not one of the blessed few attorneys who practice constitutional law, nor immigration law or anything like that. Let’s just assume you’re a run-of-the-mill, regular ’ole attorney. Like me. When I was beginning my career as a securities law attorney, I did a lot of real estate investment trust (REIT) work. So let’s say Donald Trump came into your office and asked you to do some REIT work for him.

First, in SmallLaw, you have a lot of control over whether to take on a certain person or company as a client. There’s nobody above you telling you what to do. If for some reason you don’t want someone as a client, you say you’re too busy even if you could fit it in, or say it’s outside of your expertise like that’s something that would ever stop you. Maybe every now and then you’ll be “asked” by a major client to take on the CEO’s kid’s startup or something like that, but that’s rare. Whereas I don’t know about you, but in Biglaw, it never occurred to me to ask myself whether I liked a certain client and felt comfortable working on their matter. What, walk into the partner’s office and say sorry, but I don’t like these people and I’m not the heartless bastard that you are?

So should you accept The Donald as a client? There would be several factors to consider.

Ability to pay

It sounds mercenary to lead with this, but in SmallLaw, paying on time is important not because lawyers are greedy but because lawyers are time-pressed. Aside from whatever pro bono work we manage to squeeze in, we simply don’t have time to take on matters for free. Remember, when you have your own practice, there is no bi-weekly paycheck. And bills are due when they are due, not whenever our clients feel like paying their invoices.

That’s generally why when SmallLaw attorneys are referring clients to each other, more often than not there will be a comment about whether the person pays on time. It’s not uncommon to receive an email saying, “They’re a real handful, always nagging yet never following advice, but they pay on time.” That’s a much more attractive potential client than, “they are the most lovely people in the world, but they never pay on time.” Ain’t nobody got time to work for free.

(By the way, I know about The Donald’s bankruptcies, but you never hear his lawyers saying they weren’t paid.)

He makes me physically ill

You might be saying to yourself, there’s no way I could stand being in the same room with the guy. Yeah, I get this. Like when you run into an ex on the street or a boss you hated, and have to stand there feeling the heebie-jeebies until the small talk has mercifully come to an end and you can leave this awkward encounter. I dunno, maybe try to stick to emails and conference calls? Trump’s a busy guy, surely he wouldn’t be spending a lot of time in your office. If he does, maybe always have a couple of associates around. And if you don’t have any associates, hire some temps. Anyone to be in the room, so it’s not just you and Trump.

Effect on clients

What would your current clients think? Maybe some current clients would be shocked and saddened Donald Trump is a client and would drop you in some kind of noisy way like writing a termination letter and posting it on Reddit (or Above the Law). Given how riled up people are, even some longtime clients could decide they can’t stomach sharing an attorney with Donald Trump.

What about potential clients? It would be a huge draw, no doubt about it. And I’m not talking about from Trump supporters. Representing a client everyone knows is a boon. People occasionally ask about your clients (which is why many of us have a “clients” page on our website), and saying “Donald Trump” would get their attention. A lot of potential clients want to know you’re tough enough to handle their case/negotiation/whatever. “You sound like a nice guy, are you going to be able handle the other side’s attorney?” (I get this all the time.) “Let me just say I represented Donald Trump right after he said Muslims shouldn’t be allowed in the country.” “Wow, you must be tough! Send me your engagement letter!”

This idea that clients demand someone who agrees with them politically is not borne out in the real world. Groups like Southern Poverty Law Center and Center for Individual Rights exist because they feel their clients need their help, but I’d be willing to bet most of their clients are just happy to have an attorney.

Case in point: the other day I got a call from a socialist bookstore. (No judging here: they used that label to describe themselves and were very open about it.) They never asked if I was a socialist and didn’t display an iota of interest in my political beliefs. But they did ask if I had any problem in representing them. Clients want to know you can represent them fairly. I don’t know any clients who insist their lawyer thinks like them.

Who are you, Kim Davis?

Deep thoughts about all persons deserving legal representation aren’t typically going through your brain when someone is in the office and you’re trying to decide whether to take them on as a client. And Donald Trump isn’t exactly someone who’s disadvantaged and needs a public service-minded lawyer to take pity on him.

On the other hand, we’re professionals. During Kim Davis’s 15 minutes of fame, we all had fun with our memes of fast-food cashiers refusing to give Big Macs to overweight customers, but in a sense — actually, not in a sense, we are — in the legal services delivery business. Someone comes in, orders a legal service, and we deliver it. Picking and choosing among potential clients for reasons that don’t have anything to do with their actual matter strikes me as unprofessional. Maybe if the REIT deal had some wrinkle you weren’t comfortable with, then okay. But not handling it because you don’t like Trump? I don’t see why professionals should let personal feelings get in the way of doing their job. What are you going to do, start giving potential clients a political typology quiz and require a certain score?

Lots of people don’t understand how attorneys can defend — zealously defend — mass murderers, rapists, congresspersons, and other disreputable persons. Even some attorneys are like that, especially people who are in-house or at an advocacy group or in government (i.e., who don’t really have clients). Those of us out there hustling every day get it. We’ve got a job to do. It’s our chosen profession. You do it.

Otherwise, you’re a total loser.

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Gary J. Ross opened his own practice, Jackson Ross PLLC, in 2013 after several years in Biglaw and the federal government. Gary handles corporate and compliance matters for investment funds, small businesses, and non-profits, occasionally dabbling in litigation. You can reach Gary by email at [email protected].