Our 2016 bracket challenge rolls into the Sweet 16 after a first round that saw considerably fewer upsets than the real-life NCAA tournament, but did find one of our one seeds packing it in.
But by and large, the lessons of the first weekend are that our readers love handjobs, blowjobs, and out-of-control deans, which is probably a good title for a porno, so we’re going to give notice that it’s copyrighted as of right now.
First things first, here’s the field at this point (click for a larger image):
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Now let’s look to our new matchups. Polls for this round will close on Thursday, March 24, at 11:59 p.m. Eastern.
1. Cam Girl — Cornell vs. 4. Racist Email — Harvard
Two ATL classics: A woman who bore her breasts and a woman who bore her soul. I think it’s safe to say the breasts were better than what was in the soul.
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[poll id=”536″]
2. Underwear Models Hit The Law Library — Brooklyn v. Justice Scalia Prompts Law School Email Slap Fight — Georgetown
Models screw around in a law library and professors screw around on the message boards. Try to guess which had lily-livered conservatives more “traumatized, hurt, shaken, and angry,” because it’s not the one you might expect!
[poll id=”537″]
1. Handjob — Northwestern v. 5. Clerkship Grades Revealed — UVA
What would you rather see in your inbox in the morning? A handjob solicitation or the grades of everyone in school applying for a clerkship? It probably depends on whether or not you were the SBA Officer that email was supposed to reach.
[poll id=”538″]
2. Anal Beads Professor — Drexel v. 6. Blowjob Request — American
We’ll dub this “The Tag-Team Throwdown.”
[poll id=”539″]
1. Transcript Paper Thief — UVA v. 5. Chick-FedSoc-A — Northwestern
There’s something about breaking and entering to lie about your grades that just screams “future ambulance chaser.” This juggernaut will face off against the FedSoc chapter that thought catering a marriage equality event with Chick-Fil-A would make them look like anything but tools.
[poll id=”540″]
2. Self-Kidnapping? — Houston v. 3. Stolen Law Review Cites — Harvard
Two almost unbelievable stories meet in this round. Why would anyone fake their own kidnapping? Then again, why would anyone steal law review citations?
[poll id=”541″]
8. Alaburda — TJSL v. 4. Harassment Dean — Berkeley
The big upset of the first round. Readers really wanted to reward the idea of taking a law school to trial for what they do to students, but an allegedly grabby dean got a lot of support too.
[poll id=”542″]
2. Cooley is #2!!! — Thomas M. Cooley v. 3. Horny Dean — Case Western
Number two versus number three(some allegations).
[poll id=”543″]
Remember polls for this round will close on Thursday, March 24, at 11:59 p.m. Eastern.