Guy Tries To Marry His Computer -- AGAIN -- As Stupid Anti-Marriage Equality Protest
Porn addict protests marriage equality in the stupidest way imaginable. And this isn't the first time he's tried this stunt.
It’s been a couple of years since we had to write about Vandy Law grad Chris Sevier, and he decided to remedy that with another ridiculous bit of prosanity: suing for the right to marry his laptop in Texas. If that sounds familiar, it’s because he did the exact same thing in the Florida marriage equality fight.
Apparently the media is astounded at the absurdity of this (as seen here or here or here). Welcome aboard the Chris Sevier train! Wait until they hear about the time he sued Obama over Duck Dynasty.
We started covering Chris back when he was just a boy, standing in front of a computer, asking it why he’s so addicted to porn. Those were such innocent days for the now-serial litigant. Since then he’s matured into a diehard opponent of marriage equality by demanding the right to marry his computer. Looks like someone’s just looking to trade in his spouse for a newer model in a couple years!
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In any event, Sevier’s stupid protest — which has rolled through Florida and Utah — has hit Texas, and Governor Greg “I hate dildos” Abbott and Attorney General Ken “I got my own ongoing legal problems” Paxton are not happy for the help. Despite hating the thought of same-sex marriage, the two archconservatives are eager to rid the courts of this sideshow. You’d almost think Sevier was working some high-level irony by exposing the absurdity of those who claim Obergefell opened the door to marrying inanimate objects, but nope! He’s either serious or in character so deep that Daniel Day-Lewis is like, “dude, take it down a notch.”
“[This lawsuit] is not a matter of who’s on the right side of history,” Sevier said. “This is about who is on the right side of reality. Are we just delusional?”
“We” aren’t, no. But we may know someone who is…
(If you want to read the last non-pornographic thing to come out of Sevier’s computer, it’s on the next page…)
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Earlier: Apple Porn Guy Wants To Marry His Porn-Filled Computer
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Joe Patrice is an editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.
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