“I don’t have time to answer the phone, I have to go change the oil in a partner’s car…”
Is Craigslist the greatest accomplishment of human civilization? Sure ending small pox was great, but can it really compare with the daily dose of hilarity we get off the job listings people thoughtlessly toss up on Craigslist? Take, for example, this ad for an administrative assistant posted by a Portland, Oregon firm.
Stahancyk, Kent & Hook probably — hopefully — didn’t realize how ridiculous their want ad reads. But if you’re trying to snag a new secretary for $2000/month, maybe this isn’t the right carrot to dangle. Though it’s not just a matter of spicing up the description, the whole job sounds a little nonsensical. Here are a few of the duties:
Learning After Law School
Once you’ve got your law degree, how do you keep your professional skills up to date? Share your perspective in this brief survey, and you may be eligible to win a $250 gift card.
* Drive attorneys / clients to courthouse or other offices
* Assist / provide coverage for Phone Operators as needed
* Provide coverage for Concierge (Front Desk)
OK, no problems there…
* General landscape upkeep such as leaf blowing, planting, raking and sweeping
Um, what? You’re hiring a secretary to be your gardner? Strapping a gas-powered Husqvarna on your back and patrolling the parking lot like a rejected Ghostbuster isn’t really what they were teaching at Katharine Gibbs. Note that the job also seeks someone with a “professional appearance” so I don’t know how they’re going to get all that weeding done in either a loafers or heels — depending on which direction they go in their hiring.
Managing Partners are Navigating the AI Inflection Point.
New executive research from Ari Kaplan explores how law firm leaders are responding to changing client expectations, evolving economics, talent transformation, and AI governance.
* Assist kitchen staff with setup / cleanup and dishes
Put aside how this far outstrips secretarial work for a second. This implies that the firm has a kitchen staff. Why exactly does the firm need a jack of all trades running between doing dishes and aerating the lawn if they have the wherewithal to hire a kitchen staff?
Maybe it’s time to rethink this whole job. Perhaps try looking for a separate landscaper. Might I suggest looking on Craigslist?
(Check out the full job listing on the next page…)
Joe Patrice is an editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.