Most first-years don’t have kids yet, so they can blow their $180K on themselves. But some of you older associates making upwards of $300K do have kids and may be much more inclined to spend it on these soul-sucking parasites little bundles of joy.
So if you’re a parent looking to make a splash with your new raise, and maybe remind the child you haven’t spoken to in six months that you’re their REAL mom or dad, here’s some stuff you can buy.
Like the biggest stuffed animal in the world (affiliate link). No, really, this is a thing you can buy… for a mere $50K:
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Holy hell. Frankly I’m impressed there’s even an attempt at a resale market for this. It was clearly constructed for some kind of event and after that ended, I’d have thought it would go right in the proverbial wood chipper. Or actual wood chipper because, hell, I don’t know how they would even go about destroying these things.
But let’s go ahead and assume no one’s going the giant bear route. Because you hate your children.
You can try to make up for it with a cool playhouse (affiliate link).
Of course this applies only to associates out in the hinterlands. Those living in Manhattan should, I don’t know, buy them a Barbie or something.
Guinness World Records Plush Soft Toy King Kong Teddy Bear [Amazon (affiliate link)]
Summerstone Cedar Summit Playset [Amazon (affiliate link)]