Test Case: I Helped Plan And Host A Networking Event. It Was A Lot Harder Than I Thought It Would Be.

Before I realized I can avoid a lot of cleaning by attending events at restaurants and other people’s houses, I used to be known for throwing great parties. I got pretty good at figuring out how much food and booze I would need to satisfy my voracious guests — except the one time I figured mere drinks would suffice and my friends raided my pantry like a pack of inebriated wolves. My invitation motto was: “Invite everyone — someone’s got to eat this Costco-sized wheel of brie.”

So when an industry colleague suggested that his bank and my firm co-host a networking event, I didn’t think it would be too complicated. As the law partner in charge of marketing, I agreed to help plan and host a “ladies’ day out” event for some of the women in our industry. I am a sort of lay expert on being female and also skipping work in the afternoons, so the task seemed well-tailored to my interests and abilities. How hard could it be?

My colleague suggested a spa day, but it conjured an image of potential clients in towels with cucumbers over their eyes, which made me both laugh and feel very uncomfortable. I pitched the idea of a “wine and paint” class, which are really popular among women and people like me who like to involve alcohol in their social activities. I also regularly take painting classes, which I thought could help me avoid artistic humiliation.

Lesson #1: Pay close attention to the day and time that you schedule your event.

We stumbled out of the gate with date selection. We initially picked a Friday, but it was hard to coordinate a Friday date that worked. After we committed to a Wednesday afternoon, three days before a holiday weekend, we learned: a) many people don’t want to take an afternoon off before a long weekend, and b) most of our potential invites have standing meetings on Wednesday afternoons. I started having nightmares about being a party host with no guests, crying alone into my overpriced glass of Pinot Grigio.

Lesson #2: Don’t get reckless about who you include or exclude.

We soldiered on by coming up with an invite list. I was tasked with selecting 20 women to invite, and managed to include two men on my list in my eagerness to include a few unfamiliar faces. One of these men actually received an invite to the event (sorry, Courtney!). We also learned all but one of the women in one company got invited, creating an icky situation reminding me of the time in middle school when some random chick invited all of my friends but me to a graduation pool party. (No, I am obviously not over it yet.)

Lesson #3: Don’t let technology crush your dreams.

Unfortunately, the template for the emailed flyer I received for edits looked like an invite to a gentlemen’s club. So I scrapped it and came up with my own flyer. However, when it got emailed out, the photo we used didn’t show up on the email. So it lost a lot of visual impact, and just looked like an impersonal marketing email from a stranger.

The invitation was also sent out in a mass email, causing just about everybody to lose it in their junk-mail folders. We didn’t realize this until a few days had passed. Next time, I would follow up with everybody sooner, instead of just figuring that they were just waiting to RSVP until they damn well felt like it. When I contacted people individually, however, they were quick to respond.

Lesson #4: Enlist your girl (or guy, or meerkat) squad to get stuff done.

I am pretty sure I am allergic to cooking, which has taught me a lot about how to serve food to people without having to prepare anything. So I offered to pick up snacks for the event at Costco on the big day. However, I got intimidated by the prospect of navigating a warehouse club in a time crunch — despite its reasonable prices and employee-friendly policies — and settled for a regular grocery store. I dragged a couple of friends with me under the guise of carpooling, and enlisted them in assisting me with purchasing food and things to dip the food in. Without their help, I would probably still be wandering around Safeway today. We managed to leave the store with only buying one cat-themed item that meowed when a button was pushed.

I did forget to bring any sort of platter or bowl for the snacks, but I remembered to swipe paper plates and a roll of paper towels from the office kitchen. The whole spread didn’t look super appetizing, but people seemed happy with their cheese and crackers.

Lesson #5: Calm the hell down.

When we got to the paint studio, whose walls were covered with the sort of sample paintings you could slap together in a couple of hours while buzzed on Malbec (mostly scenes with trees), I panicked that I picked the wrong painting. It was a depiction of a dandelion on a background of trippy-looking swirly things, like an example of what you see when your brain is on drugs:

I was also freaking out when guests took a while to trickle in, like an unpopular kid on my birthday. My glass of wine helped, though it didn’t stop me from stress-eating the entire container of baby carrots.

Ultimately, a good amount of people showed up, and really seemed to enjoy doing something different as a networking activity. The ladies were working hard on their paintings, and singing along to Justin Bieber’s hits with enthusiasm. I glowed with the pride of an event well-planned, and buzzed around the room taking photos for our firm’s Facebook page. (I am learning that marketing isn’t so much about the event but how fun it looked in the pictures.)

Lesson #6: Be hardcore about the RSVP.

This event required us to pay per person, and we had a number of people flake on showing up. Indeed, some people simply got busy at work and just forgot about the afternoon event. The result: We had to pay for a few no-shows. I learned a couple of things from this annoyance: 1) under-report the number of expected guests (they will always allow a few more people, because money), and 2) reach out with a day-of-event reminder sent personally instead of a mass-email reminder.

Lesson #7: Take networking-event planning seriously.

I thought it would be a piece of cake to throw together a networking event. But it turns out you need to be pretty thoughtful in each step you take — it can affect how much money you spend, how many people attend, and whether people enjoy themselves and leave with a positive image of you and your firm. But my best advice is to simply relax: If you are having fun painting psychedelic flowers, it’s more likely the people around you will too.

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Allison Peryea is a shareholder attorney at Leahy Fjelstad Peryea, a boutique law firm in downtown Seattle that primarily serves community association clients. Her practice focuses on covenant enforcement and dispute resolution. She is a longtime humor writer with a background in journalism and cat ownership. You can reach her by email at [email protected].