Why I Go On Silent Meditation Retreats And You Should Too

As I write this, it’s past midnight on Thursday, and in about eight hours, I’ll be driving to a meditation retreat center in Santa Cruz where I’ll spend seven full days in complete silence. The first silent meditation I attended was at Spirit Rock, and it was a retreat specifically for lawyers. At the retreat, 50+ lawyers gathered from all across the country to practice spending four days in contemplation, meditation, and silence. Yes, there is something ironic and amusing about a silent meditation retreat for lawyers. As my non-lawyer friend correctly pointed out, having a room full of silent layers is a rare occasion.

When I tell lawyers that I’ll be spending an entire week in silence, they often will have a look of horror and shock.

You mean, you can’t talk? At all? Yes. That’s what silent means.
Can you use body language to communicate? No.
Can you pass notes? Yes, but only to the teacher, and with only a very important issue or concern.

Sometimes, my lawyer friends will try to come up with loopholes around this rule and I enjoy some of the creative suggestions.

The typical day at the retreat looks something like this: you wake up at 4:30 a.m., then sit for your first meditation of the day at 5:00 a.m., and except for the time when you’re eating a meal, listening to a lecture (usually one hour each evening), or in an interview with a teacher, you’re meditating. The last meditation is generally around 9:00 p.m., meaning you’ll likely spend eight or so hours meditating — daily.

You’re discouraged from reading (and some retreat centers are more strict on this rule than others), and sometimes, even writing.

Each time I’m preparing to go on one of these retreats, I always notice a sense of fear and joy.

So, you may ask, why??? Why would anyone want to do this??? I think the reasons for going on these retreats vary for each individual. I’ve met people who are simply trying to work through some complicated issues, such as a job transition, others who are grieving the loss of a child or other loved ones, and some who desire to deepen their meditation practice, just to name a few.

I go on these retreats because it’s an opportunity to truly rest, recharge, refocus, and regroup, so that I can be the absolute best lawyer, mindfulness facilitator, wife, teacher, writer, and human.

We live in a world that’s hyperconnected, constantly “on,” and you’re expected to be available 24/7. This is a lot of stress to put on your nervous system. What I’ve noticed is that when I can truly disconnect from all the digital devices, all the chatter, all the noise of the world, it gives me the space to slow down, listen, pay attention, and more deeply consider where I am and where I’m headed.

It’s often difficult to sit with all of your inner demons, your own thoughts, and all of that inner chatter, hour after hour, day after day. But as time passes, I can begin to notice those noises quieting and I find those few moments of true mental silences to be priceless.

Now, when I say you should attend a silent meditation retreat too, I’m not suggesting you go on a week-long retreat. Having said that, some people go on multi-year-long retreats as well. Start incorporating a bit of silent meditation time into your daily life. Then, when you feel ready, try going to a one-hour meditation sit at a local group, or even work up to a four-hour “mini” retreat.

Most eight-week meditation courses includes a full day retreat. There are also many non-residential retreats.

In my last post, I talked about Paul Minda, Ph.D., of the Department of Psychology and The Brain and Mind Institute at the University of Western Ontario, who will be investigating the relationship between mindfulness meditation practices and its impact on lawyers.

I’ll be the first to admit, putting mindfulness through strict scientific scrutiny is important. But, the best way to see if mindfulness “works” is to see for yourself. Carve out a tiny bit of time (say, two minutes per day) and meditate for 21 days. Research shows even this small bit of practice can make a difference in increasing your sense of happiness.

I’m truly excited to share that the National Association of Women Lawyers (NAWL) has given me and my co-author, Karen Gifford, the opportunity to lead an eight-week online mindfulness program starting September 7th. It’s free to attend and open to everyone — both women and men, NAWL and non-NAWL members. Seyfarth Shaw LLP is sponsoring the event, and I’m incredibly encouraged to see the interest and focus on employee wellness, especially in BigLaw.

So, whether it’s our eight-week program or some other mindfulness program, I do hope you give mindfulness practice a try! And be sure to let me know what impact it’s had on your life.

As always, you can reach me at [email protected] or on Twitter @jeena_cho. 

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Jeena Cho is the author of The Anxious Lawyer: An 8-Week Guide to a Joyful and Satisfying Law Practice Through Mindfulness and Meditation (affiliate link). She is a contributor to Forbes and Bloomberg where she covers diversity/inclusion, resilience, work/life integration, and wellness in the workplace. She regularly speaks and offers training on women’s issues, diversity, wellness, stress management, mindfulness, and meditation. You can reach her at[email protected] or @jeena_cho on Twitter.