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If you follow our podcast, Thinking Like A Lawyer, you’ll know that I’m deeply concerned by drones. I’m no Luddite. I just think that at the point where your drone is flying over my property, I should have some right to defend myself from your electronic intrusion.
But the lawyers tell me that I can’t shoot drones out of the sky. Even if I could, I would never keep a gun in my house around my children, because I’m not an idiot and my penis works just fine.
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France, it would seem, has solved my problem.
FALCONRY!
The best story you will read all week is in the Washington Post:
Under French military supervision, four golden eagle chicks hatched last year atop drones — born into a world of terror and machines they would be bred to destroy.
The eagles — named d’Artagnan, Athos, Porthos and Aramis — grew up with their nemeses. They chased drones through green grass that summer, pecking futilely at composite shells as seen in Sky News footage. They were rewarded with meat, which they ate off the backs of the drones.
When the eagles were ready — this month — d’Artagnan launched screeching from a military control tower across a field, Agence France-Presse reported.
The bird covered 200 meters in 20 seconds, slamming into a drone, then diving with the wreckage into the tall grass.
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France F**k Yeah! This is the most important thing the French military has accomplished since the battle of Austerlitz.
Can you try this at home? WHY YES.
50 CFR 21.29 – Falconry standards and falconry permitting.
(c)Practicing falconry –
(1)Permits and inspections to practice falconry. You must have a valid falconry permit from the State, tribe, or territory in which you reside (or the tribe on whose land you wish to practice falconry if you reside on tribal land or are a tribal member), to take, possess, or transport raptors for falconry, or to hunt with them. Depending on the game you hunt as a falconer and where you hunt, you also may need a Federal Migratory Bird Hunting and Conservation Stamp (a “Duck Stamp”), and State, tribal, or territorial hunting permits or stamps to hunt with a raptor.
In New York State, the master falconer’s license refers to flushing “wildlife,” but it specifically contemplates wildlife “causing damage to property or threatening human health or safety.” I bet you could shoehorn drones into that classification.
At the very least, it’d be an interesting appellate case: You and your goddamn eagle v. freckleface and his stupid toy.
As usual, reconnecting with nature is the perfect tonic for our modern troubles.
Terrorists are building drones. France is destroying them with eagles. [Washington Post]
Everything You Wanted To Know About That Drone Spying Outside Your Bedroom Window [Thinking Like A Lawyer]
Elie Mystal is an editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at [email protected]. He will resist.