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Test Case: For This Column, I've Tried Something New Every Two Weeks For A Year. Here's What I've Learned (So Far).

It's never too late to try something out of your comfort zone, or learn something new, or try to improve yourself.

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writing typing blogging keyboardWhile falling asleep on September 21, 2015, I had an idea. No actual lightbulb appeared over my head, but I did jump out of bed to write stuff in my phone’s Notes app before my idea abandoned me, which is the 2017 equivalent.

I was going to write a column about being a lawyer and trying new things. I made a list of all of the new things I could try and was very excited to get going. I was going to call the column “Test Case.”

The problem: I didn’t have a publication for whom to write this column. I used to write a lot for my state bar’s publications, but eventually I learned that the politics of our state bar is more twisted than our national government’s, and escaped like a Trump staffer fleeing a Russian conspiracy. And I didn’t want to add a personal blog to the pile—I got my journalism degree back when newsprint was a thing, and I need an editor to keep me in line.

Also, I am in my mid-30s now, which is getting past that age where trying new things is exciting rather than scary and exhausting. Why risk failure, embarrassment, or discomfort when Netflix promises hours of at-home TV binge-watching as a cozy alternative?

I reached out to a few publications, and Above the Law was silly enough to let me write a “test case” Test Case column. Fast-forward to today, and I have written 28 columns during the past year. I have tried something new every two weeks—ranging from writing an appellate brief to pole dancing to volunteering for a political campaign to donating blood to shooting handguns. And I have to admit that each one of my test cases caused me a lot more anxiety than a Gilmore Girls marathon—even the silent Buddhist retreat, since I am a generally noisy person.

What I have also learned when writing this column is that it is never too late. It is never too late to try something out of your comfort zone, or learn something new, or try to improve yourself. But it helps to have something to keep you accountable. In my case, it is a looming column deadline, and an editor in New York City who I have never actually met in person.

Publishing online is a weird experience. People discuss you and your words like they are commodities. They often parse and misinterpret your thoughts, and judge the crap out of you, because that’s how lonely internet trolls accumulate perceived power. You are held to a standard that neglects to recognize that your writing is something squeezed into a couple of hours in between running a business, billing clients, and eating a sandwich from the office-building deli. Readers sometimes also forget that you are a human being: For example, some stranger once took the time out of his or her day to email me personally just to make sure I knew how stupid I am. And no matter what you do, you will disappoint: An online commenter was incredulous that I wanted to try paddle boarding in Hawaii.

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One challenge to writing an online column is trying to ignore the urge to try to please everyone. For example, my mom is an (my only?) avid reader, and doesn’t like to see swear words, even though cursing is how I best communicate my feelings. Another difficulty is determining just how earnest you want to be when you are writing to an audience of anonymous online faces. At times when writing humor pieces, I can tell I have adopted the persona of a goofy airhead to reach word count without having to expose too much (figuratively) of myself. (“Tee hee trying new stuff is hard.”) And some days I feel like every phrase I write is an accidental double entendre that will wrest a chuckle from all of the dirty minds out there.

I also always have to stay mindful of finding the balance between entertaining readers with interesting anecdotes with the need to stay safe and avid acute misery. For instance, when I was tripping out on marijuana edibles, I definitely felt like I had taken things too far for the sake of humor journalism. I sometimes creep myself out further when I think about how this column theme is so self-centric (I just confirmed on Urban Dictionary that “self-centric” is a word). It’s like, great, another aging millennial talking about herself. It is also a lot of pressure to try to do interesting stuff all the time. What if I just want to spend two weeks working and de-cluttering my closet?

People often ask me if I am worried about running out of new “test case” topics. Indeed, at first, it felt like I had to force new test cases. I would plan them out and write a little bit about my experiences over the course of the week. But eventually, one way or another, new tests started presenting themselves organically. Perhaps this was because I have trained myself to be on the lookout for new experiences. But also I think I have learned to say “yes” to opportunities that I otherwise would have passed up—like judging a mock trial on a sunny Sunday afternoon (you have to have survived this Seattle winter to understand the value and rarity of a rain-free day outside).

I think the scariest part of a lot of these new experiences is that I have tried a number of them alone. I grew up with an older sister who I always hid behind. (Seriously, I still have a lingering fear of interacting with the pizza delivery guy. Once I hid behind a door when he came over but I had to slink out to sign the credit slip.) One of the biggest hurdles for me is just signing up and showing up for something all on my own.

But I have come to realize that solo experiences (or any new experiences, for that matter) are a lot less intimidating when you think of them as just that—experiences—rather than risks. No matter what happens, I am going to survive. And if something crazy happens along the way, that just makes the story a little more interesting.

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Allison Peryea is a shareholder attorney at Leahy Fjelstad Peryea, a boutique law firm in downtown Seattle that primarily serves community association clients. Her practice focuses on covenant enforcement and dispute resolution. She is a longtime humor writer with a background in journalism and cat ownership. You can reach her by email at [email protected].

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