Non-Sequiturs: 08.22.17

* Members of the Charlottesville City Council had to briefly hide from their own meeting as citizens lambasted them over their failures to protect the community. When they resumed, they quickly voted to remove the Confederate monuments that served as a rallying cry for alt-right and neo-Nazi activists. Keep trying to figure out which way your people are running so you can lead them, local pols. [CBS News] * Dear police officers, I'm going to make this really simple for you. If your "color" comes off when you DO THE GODDAMN LAUNDRY... you're not a "race." Nobody is being "racist" towards you. If people don't like you, it's because of something you did, or something people who wear your uniform did. People don't hate you because you're "blue." People hate you because you're the Yankees -- only you get to kill people. [Independent] * I didn't know that some of George Washington's dentures were made from slave teeth. I mean, I know that's not the point of this excellent strip, but... dude, slave teeth, man. [The Oatmeal] * Here's an obligatory link to something about Afghanistan. [Foreign Policy] * Lawyers are pretty satisfied with their careers. Disclosure: I'm buddies with the professor who did the study, but that's not why I'm positively disposed to its results. I'm happy that lawyers are (relatively) happy because WE NEED THEM TO FIGHT NOW, and happy warriors are the best ones. [TaxProf Blog] * In the second item here, Matt Levine expresses his displeasure with the increasing scope of "securities fraud" lawsuits. [Bloomberg View] * Millennials would rather be fired over text than in person? What? The only good thing about being fired is that look on your boss's face when he realizes that some of his office furniture is about to get smashed to bits. [CNBC]

* Members of the Charlottesville City Council had to briefly hide from their own meeting as citizens lambasted them over their failures to protect the community. When they resumed, they quickly voted to remove the Confederate monuments that served as a rallying cry for alt-right and neo-Nazi activists. Keep trying to figure out which way your people are running so you can lead them, local pols. [CBS News]

* Dear police officers, I’m going to make this really simple for you. If your “color” comes off when you DO THE GODDAMN LAUNDRY… you’re not a “race.” Nobody is being “racist” towards you. If people don’t like you, it’s because of something you did, or something people who wear your uniform did. People don’t hate you because you’re “blue.” People hate you because you’re the Yankees — only you get to kill people. [Independent]

* I didn’t know that some of George Washington’s dentures were made from slave teeth. I mean, I know that’s not the point of this excellent strip, but… dude, slave teeth, man. [The Oatmeal]

* Here’s an obligatory link to something about Afghanistan. [Foreign Policy]

* Lawyers are pretty satisfied with their careers. Disclosure: I’m buddies with the professor who did the study, but that’s not why I’m positively disposed to its results. I’m happy that lawyers are (relatively) happy because WE NEED THEM TO FIGHT NOW, and happy warriors are the best ones. [TaxProf Blog]

* In the second item here, Matt Levine expresses his displeasure with the increasing scope of “securities fraud” lawsuits. [Bloomberg View]

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* Millennials would rather be fired over text than in person? What? The only good thing about being fired is that look on your boss’s face when he realizes that some of his office furniture is about to get smashed to bits. [CNBC]


Elie Mystal is an editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at elie@abovethelaw.com. He will resist.

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