There’s No Place Like A 1L’s Home For The Holidays

If Thanksgiving Dinner is the most important event in your family next to December holidays, don’t let worrying about finals rob you of that joy.

Dear 1Ls,

Soon, many of you will be leaving the safe confines of the library or study room to go to a great unknown world — home.  I don’t mean your apartment near the law school.  I mean that you will go back to the nuclear family unit and extended family that descend upon you during Thanksgiving.

You used to know and love this world.  It contained family, friends, and tryptophan.  But it’s going to be different this time.  Not because everyone else is different.  You are different.

It’ll start out with someone asking you legal advice.  They didn’t ask you legal advice before, but for some reason, because you have entered law school, you are now an expert on every legal topic, including courses you might not ever take in law school.  You’ll smile and perhaps ask a few questions, but ultimately decide not to give legal advice.  That’s a wise and ethically correct choice.  Even if you were a member of the bar in the state in which you’re giving advice, the minute you do that, the family network won’t stop.  They’ll just keep asking and asking.  It’s like The Godfather, Part III: Just when you think you’re out, another legal question will pull you slowly back in.

You’re going to discover that you’re in a few more debates, too.  You’ll argue more not because you’ve suddenly taken an interest in politics (a topic you’ve avoided because it is never mentioned in your torts book), but because you’ve become better at it.  You spot issues, legal or not, and you are able to pick apart arguments.  You’ll seem cocky to your family.  You’ll feel more confident.  You’ll ask people pointed questions, and to your own horror, realize you’re engaged in your own version of the Socratic Method you despise.  In the end, you might blame your law professors for having honed this skill in you that becomes inconvenient at family dinner.

You’re going to overestimate the amount of studying you’ll get done during the holiday break.  You’ll set yourself down to study, only for that to be the precise moment when someone a) asks you to go do something fun; b) starts running the vacuum; c) blasts loudly some TV show or sports from the living room; or worse d) you distract yourself by deciding that it’s a great time to catch up with friends or social media.  After all, you have all weekend.  Then, right around the time you fly/drive/walk back to your apartment, you’ll begin the freaking out portion of the weekend, in which your self-talk will be something like “OMG I WASTED ALL THAT TIME!”  Let’s just stop that spiral now by setting some time where you leave the family, perhaps for the first couple of hours each day, to engage in quality study time (outside the home).

You’re going to look with some contempt on those who render legal arguments and have no clue about the law.   Despite the fact that you are kind and compassionate, Uncle Johnny is driving you bonkers with his interpretation of how he should be able to sue someone who did him wrong.  You’ll listen at his confidence that there has been some legal harm done to him.  You’ll be annoyed because it will be like all those hypotheticals in law school.  You’ll also for the first time realize that those compartmentalized classes in law school are now out of their boxes, as you attempt to figure out some civ pro issue in Uncle Johnny’s tort case.  Remember, don’t give legal advice!  Also, remember not to obsess about the fact you can’t really answer his question.  Most importantly, don’t turn on your law school professors and declare they haven’t taught you anything.

Sponsored

Friends will seem distant.   Your besties from before law school will also seem different.  It’s not them, it’s you.  Law school can be all-encompassing, and if you haven’t kept grounded, you’ll find you might have less about which to converse with your friends.  This can be jarring.   Don’t assume this is a permanent state of things.  Once you get through your first year, you’ll come back around, and if not, the wise words of the Dalai Lama always get me through friend ghostings: “Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend — or a meaningful day.”

By the end of all this, you might even feel relieved to be back in the library studying for finals.  However, more than likely you’ll feel stressed about the time you spent hanging out with family.

What’s my advice?  Patience with a heap of compassion.  Be patient with yourself and realize that you are going through a transformation.  Few do this consciously and deliberately.  Be aware law school changes you.  The key is to let it train you without tearing away at the core of your value system and happiness.  That requires that you know to what values and joys you cling, and never let law school take that from you.  If Thanksgiving Dinner is the most important event in your family next to December holidays, don’t let worrying about finals rob you of that joy.

Also, be compassionate with your family and friends, but mostly with yourself.  Negative self-talk, or negative talk about others, is a good way to put you in a bad mood right before finals, when you need to be the most confident and positive.

Finally, when you are not studying, enjoy yourself.  Use this time to recharge your batteries for the tough road ahead.

Sponsored


LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top 100 law school. You can see more of his musings here He is way funnier on social media, he claims.  Please follow him on Twitter (@lawprofblawg) or Facebook. Email him at lawprofblawg@gmail.com.