Small Law Firms

A Toast To The Lawyers Who Don't Drink

Non-drinking lawyers suffer the same amount of stress as any other lawyer -- they just find other ways to take the edge off.

By  
on

The holidays are just around the corner. Which means food, family, friends, and fun. Oh, and also holiday parties with alcohol. Lots of alcohol.

Lawyers are known for their love of booze. They drink to celebrate, socialize, and to cope with stress. While many lawyers drink responsibly, a large number of them unfortunately drink to excess. There are many stories of lawyers suffering from alcoholism and its devastating results to them and the people they care about.

I am not one of them. I don’t need to drink to relieve stress. And I try to avoid or minimize drinking alcohol without insulting or alienating people who do.

I’ve been an occasional drinker for many years. Last year, I think I drank a glass or two on less than 10 occasions. I haven’t had a cigarette in over 10 years. I don’t use recreational drugs.

I don’t drink for a number of reasons. First, I am on medication and my doctor (and common sense) told me that medicine and alcohol don’t mix.

Second, I never liked the taste of alcohol. I don’t get how people can enjoy a drink that to me tastes like a mix of gasoline and urine (I hear it is commonly known as light beer.) I recall buying a friend a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label and as we tasted it, the first thought on my mind (as my throat was burning) was, “People pay $150 to drink this!?”

Finally, I didn’t like alcohol’s effect on me. I didn’t like the “buzz” feeling that every drinker thinks is so cool. I didn’t feel uninhibited after drinking at a social event. The more I drank, the more I worried about whether I would pass a breathalyzer test and whether I would say or do something I would really regret later. I didn’t like the feeling of being overly drunk, along with the nausea and the hangover that followed. But what annoys me the most about alcohol is how it makes me lose sleep. This usually resulted in me forgetting to do something or just feeling tired the next day.

Sponsored

Non-drinking lawyers suffer the same amount of stress as any other lawyer. But we do things other than drinking to take the edge off. In my case, ideally I should be exercising, meditating, or watching motivational videos. But lately, I have been turning to chocolate or looking at animal pictures. But I’ll start working out after Thanksgiving. I promise.

For those who don’t drink like myself, it’s usually easy to reach for the soda or juice instead of the vodka. But the temptation to drink is always there. The parties and social events are always stocked. And it’s hard to ignore an open bar.

The temptation is especially great when you get invited to a party where the host offers to share a particularly exclusive and expensive bottle of wine. The host then introduces the master sommelier who begins to describe the wine in exquisite detail mentioning the vintage, the winery, and the expeditionary team that trekked through several swamps fighting man-eating alligators to pick the grapes at its prime ripeness. You don’t want to miss out on a wine that someone risked their life to make.

Also, you might have to deal with the occasional alcoholic clients. They won’t talk to you unless there is a bottle nearby. And they will insist that you drink with them because misery loves company.

And you might have to work with people who come from cultures where someone with low alcohol tolerance is considered weak and refusing to share a drink with them is considered an insult. If you don’t play their game, this can mean losing a client, a job, or a promotion.

Sponsored

Thankfully, not many people noticed that I didn’t drink. And those who did respected my preference. They probably thought it meant more booze for them and a designated driver will be available.

But if you are hanging out with people who insist that you drink with them, you have to be creative if you want to stay sober. Some bars have non-alcoholic drinks on their menus with unique names. Usually people don’t notice when you order those. But I make it a point to say that the drink tastes dreadfully awful. Otherwise, there is a chance that my companion will want a taste which could give away my strategy.

As a last resort, order the least alcoholic beverage on the menu. And it sip it very slowly. And double fist with a glass of water.

So if you are a nondrinker or a very occasional one, congratulations on finding a way to do your job without becoming an alcoholic. Of course, we should respect other people’s right to drink so long as they don’t turn into obnoxious jerks. While you should always stand your ground if you don’t want to drink, try to share a toast with your companions with a virgin cocktail so no one feels left out during the holidays.

Shannon Achimalbe was a former solo practitioner for five years before deciding to sell out and get back on the corporate ladder. Shannon can be reached by email at sachimalbe@excite.com and via Twitter: @ShanonAchimalbe.

Topics

, , , ,