As Usual, Going Above And Beyond For Bonuses At Quinn Hardly Seems Worth It

If you're going for Quinn's high-billing bonuses, you're kind of an idiot.

The Quinn Emanuel bonus scale is out and, it’s exactly the same as last year. And last year was exactly the same as the year before. So, score one for consistency I guess.

Here’s the scale:

Since there’s nothing surprising here, I’ll take this opportunity to bitch.

You’ll note that, as per usual, Quinn gives a higher bonus to people who bill more hours (they also give less to people who bill fewer than 2100 hours). But look closely at those higher payouts. A 2016 associate who bills 2650 hours gets… $3,000 more than an associate who bills 2150 hours.

For those who are not good at math, that works out to $6 extra an hour. An associate who bills 800 hours more than the minimum bonus requirement is making $6.50 per extra hour. A 2016 associate would be financially better off spending 500-800 extra hours BABYSITTING THE PARTNERS’ CHILDREN than billing clients for the firm. Significantly so. The bonus structure itself is a perverse incentive to hit 2100 hours and then stop working altogether.

Of course, Quinn gets around that problem by not actually giving associates the choice to manage their hours in their economic best interests. If you’re on pace to bill 2800 hours (I’ve been there), you know you don’t have the option to say “No, I’m good, I’m just going go through Halloween, then work as a seasonal helper at Lowe’s, I’ll make way more money that way.”

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Nobody actually tries to bill 2800 hours. Some people FAIL TO ESCAPE on time and end up billing 2800 hours. Those high billers got captured. Their reward for getting caught is some loose change Quinn Emanuel partners found in the lobby.

Of course, when you’re captured, somebody putting six bucks into your commissary account is a big deal.

The Quinn Emanuel Bonus: You’ll Take It Even If It’s Not At All Worth It.

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Elie Mystal is the Executive Editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at elie@abovethelaw.com. He will resist.


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