Family Law, Health Care / Medicine

Gay Dad’s Attempt To Adopt His Genetic Child Rejected, Child Left Without Legal Parents

The saddest part of the story is that the child is being punished for the country’s view of his family.

By  
on

Congrats to New Dads. Before we get to the bad news I allude to in the title, let’s start the new year with some happy news. Congratulations to one of the stars of “Million Dollar Listing:  New York,” Fredrik Eklund. Eklund and his husband Derek Kaplan (wow, that’s a lot of “k’s” in their names) recently celebrated the birth of their twin surrogacy-born babies Fredrik Jr. and Milla. They get credit for having adorable baby names, and even more adorable family pics.

Now the Bad News. For Gay Men and Singles. And Their Children. Singapore is among the many countries that prohibits all forms of surrogacy, no matter the surrounding circumstances.  Even in vitro fertilization (IVF) — a very common procedure in many advanced countries — can only be undertaken within a heterosexual marriage.

So when a gay Singapore doctor wanted to become a parent, he and his partner of 13 years tried adoption. Unfortunately, the doctor was informed by the Singapore government that he was unlikely to receive permission to adopt due to his homosexual relationship.

So he looked for other options, and eventually found a path forward in the United States.  (Go America!) With the help of assisted reproductive technology — specifically, an egg donor and a gestational surrogate — the doctor was able to have a child conceived that was genetically related to himself. Congrats so far!

Under American law, the new dad was recognized as the sole legal parent of the child. But when the new dad returned to Singapore with his son, he still tried to adopt his child so that their parent-child relationship would be recognized by the Singapore government.

However, as you may remember from the Michael Fay caning incident in the 1990s, American and Singaporean law aren’t always simpatico. Last week, the Singapore court rejected the dad’s adoption petition, and had harsh words for the parent, and those who might want to follow in his footsteps.

Rejecting Parenthood Outside of Heterosexual Marriage. During the course of the legal proceedings, Singapore’s Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) weighed in and asserted its opposition to the adoption. The Ministry issued a statement explaining that Singapore’s public policy encourages parenthood only within the context of marriage. “Planned and deliberate parenthood by singles, as evidenced through the intentional use of assisted reproduction and/or surrogacy, runs contrary to this.”

Sponsored

That’s terrible news for singles in Singapore who want to be parents, but who never find the right person to marry. And the implicit prohibition on adoption by gay parents means even some people who find the right person still can’t grow their families. The “deliberate” parenthood comment in the Ministry’s statement stings particularly hard, given that accidental pregnancies obviously also occur in Singapore. But the only legal way for singles to have kids is by out-of-wedlock procreation, done the old-fashioned way.

The court attempted to justify its rejection of the child’s adoption by noting that “the welfare of the child is not affected by the dismissal of the adoption application, and the child, who is a US citizen, will continue to be in his father’s care.”

It is certainly good news that the child can stay in his father’s care. But denying a legal recognition of the relationship, as well as the denial of Singaporean citizenship, certainly isn’t in the best interest of the child. Having a citizenship different from any recognized parent or guardian is an unstable and scary situation for a minor.

$200,000 To Be A Surrogate? Sign Me Up! The court also took issue with the amount of money paid to the American surrogate. Supposedly the doctor paid the surrogate $200,000 to carry his child. That would be a lot of Singapore Slings!

But I remain skeptical of this number. Although the entire process — including fertility clinic fees, medicine costs, agency fees, attorney fees (always important!), insurance, newborn costs, etc. — can reach this high, the $200,000 is not a normal compensation number for a surrogate in the U.S. (If it were, being a surrogate in America would be much more popular!)

Sponsored

Unless you’re an Arizona congressman soliciting your staff, the market rate for surrogacy in the United States is generally between $20,000 to $50,000. The higher end tends to be for women who have been a surrogate previously. Of course, this isn’t the first time we have seen a foreign court misrepresent or misunderstand a U.S. surrogate’s compensation. A German court once claimed that a couple paid a Colorado surrogate $500,000. But as I mentioned then, that was probably just a misreading of a comma.

Outdated View Of Family. Pink Dot, a Singapore LGBT rights group, was understandably unhappy with the ruling. It offered the following statement: “Singapore has chosen to reject a loving father’s application to adopt his own biological son based on an outdated view or what a family should constitute.”

In the end, the saddest part of the story is that the child is being punished for the country’s view of his family. Let’s hope Singapore quickly realizes the impact of the court ruling, and reverses course.

Ellen TrachmanEllen Trachman is the Managing Attorney of Trachman Law Center, LLC, a Denver-based law firm specializing in assisted reproductive technology law, adoption, and estate planning. You can reach her at babies@abovethelaw.com.

Topics

, , , , , , , ,