Crime

Is Donald Trump Being Tried As A Black Man?

Reports from the Mueller grand jury suggest it's not a MAGA stronghold.

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Robert S. Mueller (via YouTube)

In broad strokes, there are four levels to “innocent until proven guilty.” We can rank them from “will probably walk” to “let’s just get to sentencing.”

  • Level 1: Cops. In this country, you want to be tried as a cop. Hell, even prosecutors don’t think cops are guilty.
  • Level 2: Celebrities. If people like your art, they’ll have trouble believing you committed a crime. And you can afford the best defense money can buy.
  • Level 3: White People. This is the default standard.
  • Level 4: Minorities. You “look like” you did it and have to convince the jury otherwise.

If Donald Trump ever gets in front of a jury, I assume he’ll be tried as a celebrity. He is one, after all. And like all celebrities, people who like his “work” will have a hard time believing that he did anything wrong. He’ll look upon a jury of people who think they know him because they watched his television show or follow him on Twitter. Some people just won’t believe that Donald Trump could commit a crime, no matter how much evidence is presented against him.

But right now the Mueller probe is at the grand jury stage. A witness who testified in front of the grand jury made a breathless report about how the grand jury is stacked against the Donald and… maybe I was wrong. Maybe Trump is being treated like any other minority (he did get fewer votes than Hillary Clinton, after all), at least at the grand jury stage. From the New York Post:

“The grand jury room looks like a Bernie Sanders rally,” my source said. “Maybe they found these jurors in central casting, or at a Black Lives Matter rally in Berkeley [Calif.]”

Of the 20 jurors, 11 are African-Americans and two were wearing “peace T-shirts,” the witness said. “There was only one white male in the room, and he was a prosecutor.” Mueller was not present.

This is coming from Page Six of the New York Post. Matt Damon is more qualified to lecture me on how to achieve racial diversity than the New York freaking Post.

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But, if true, Ha. Hahaha. HA HA F***ING HA YOU BIGOTED A**HOLE. I hope on your JUDGMENT DAY there are 20 people standing at the pearly gates, 11 of them African-American and two of them wearing “peace” shirts. I hope that is the last thing you see before being sent straight to hell.

I WANT Donald Trump to be tried as a black man. I want him to face a jury “of his peers” that is not made up of the bigots and idiots he has been conning all this time.

Unfortunately, the Post’s “source” here leaves a lot to be desired. I mean, we’re talking about a person who evidently can’t tell the difference between “a Bernie Sanders rally” and “a Black Lives Matter rally.” Which kind of shows the source doesn’t have a damn clue what he’s talking about. The source sounds like the kind of person who sees a black person in the crosswalk and rolls up his windows and texts how he almost got “carjacked.”

Still, it’s a nice fantasy: Donald Trump should have to justify his behavior to the whole country and not just the 35% of aggrieved bigots who have swept him into power.

He never will, of course. Even if Donald Trump is impeached, he’ll be tried as a Republican in front of a Republican Senate. People like Trump never face the music. As a wise man once said, “Nobody kills Humperdinck.”

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Russia probe grand jury looks like ‘a Black Lives Matter rally,’ says witness [New York Post]

Elie Mystal is the Executive Editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at elie@abovethelaw.com. He will resist.

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