Religion

Couple Represented By 'Lawyer Jesus Christ' Lose In Totally Predictable Fashion

It turns out, deities speaking through stuffed animals aren't the best legal representation.

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A pair of fundamentalist Christians in Canada found themselves on the losing end of a recent appellate decision confirming an earlier decision stripping them of custody of their baby. If that sounds weird, it’s because Canada still gives parents due process before taking their kids away. The result came as a shock to the parents who thought they’d scored top-notch representation for their big case.

Two fundamentalist Christian parents in Canada recently lost an appeal over custody of their baby after arguing in court that their “lawyer Jesus Christ” was speaking through them and that God was advising them by taking the form of a stuffed lion.

That must have been a fun pro hac vice motion. The couple is taking the loss hard, though it’s not clear why they’d rely on Jesus to represent them in the first place. The last time that guy handled a disturbing the peace charge it ended in the death penalty.

For the parents and their ersatz Aslan toy, the case was always an uphill battle because the record paints a horrifying picture of a wildly unsafe environment:

The Ministry of Children and Family Development got involved with AJ and DK [the parents, identified by initials] in 2016 after AJ told a facilitator at a lunch program that DK had choked her and “believes sexual relations between children should be encouraged”.

She would later deny making the disclosure, but the reports raised red flags because AJ was pregnant.

The baby — CJ — was delivered in a home birth Nov. 1, 2016, with the help of a paramedic called by AJ’s anxious parents.

The young mother refused a host of medical procedures, including eye drops for the baby, a bilirubin blood test and a hearing test. She also “expressed unwillingness to allow the child to receive vaccinations.”

Sexual relations between children is… not a good sign.

Despite the flippancy that the American government shows toward separating children from families — and not just at the border — there are very real, and very important reasons for the government to insert itself into the family unit, and when the parents believe kiddie sex should be encouraged is very much one of those reasons.

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The parents are trying to turn this into a case of religious discrimination, but Canada isn’t having it. While the appellate judge noted that the parents clearly love their child in their own way, the record is just damning that this child was at risk in this home. And not just because of the child sex stuff. They couldn’t even keep their noses clean while preparing to fight for their child:

Even as the parents prepared for the initial trial to determine custody, the pastor of one church sought a restraining order against them.

The pair were criminally charged after a disturbance at another church in West Kelowna.

Look, life is full of nuance and honest disagreement, but when churches are getting restraining orders against you, maybe you need to take a long hard look at your stuffed animal and wonder if he’s led you astray.

Christian Parents Who Used Jesus As Their Lawyer Lose Baby Custody Trial [Patheos]

Earlier: God Sues Homosexuals In Nebraska. God Has Terrible Grammar.

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