Lies, Damn Lies, And Whatever Cooley Law School's Doing Right Here

Law School Pushing Some Glorious #FakeNews About Itself.

Some people wonder what fascism truly looks like. While a tin-pot charlatan openly admiring the North Korean government may elicit the “F” word from some corners, that pales in the face of a true cult of personality, one that embraces falsehoods at every turn and broadcasts them to the masses at all hours, even while citizens try to enjoy a simple sporting event.

Imagine sitting in a ballpark named after Glorious Leader, taking in some minor league baseball, an All-Star Game no less, and having the jumbotron hammer you with propaganda. It’s not the future, it’s the present in Lansing, Michigan.

Um, #FakeNews.

If you’re wondering, this “Lansing Fact” refers to a set of rankings released by Cooley Law School itself that placed the school just a shade below Harvard employing a methodology that could only be described as “crack-addled.” It was a comical effort to grift another generation of students that probably would have worked if they’d kept it realistic and declared themselves, I don’t know… 29th. Who really keeps track of which law school is 29th? Some undergrad might buy that.

Alas, Cooley flew too close to the sun.

But as ludicrous as the original ranking was, the most galling aspect of this stadium message is that it isn’t even accurate in Cooley’s own warped universe. Cooley pulled the “second-ranked” thing way back in 2011! That means this “Lansing Fact” is seven years old! Does anyone at the park care enough to update the screens? I think we may have hit the outer bound of the Goebbels maxim that repeating a big enough lie will eventually get people to believe it. It was a good seven-year run, but it’s time to pack it in, folks.

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For the record, in case the stadium board operators are looking for a replacement “Lansing Fact” here’s one:

THE THOMAS M. COOLEY LAW SCHOOL, FOUNDED IN LANSING, WAS SLAMMED BY THE ABA FOR BEING OUT OF COMPLIANCE WITH BASIC ACADEMIC STANDARDS LAST YEAR.

Even Cooley’s in-house propaganda team wouldn’t dare spin that as a second-ranked year.

And remember, of course, that this is all taking place inside Cooley Law School Stadium.

Earlier: Cooley Law School Stadium: The House That Broken Dreams Built
Latest Cooley Law School Rankings Achieve New Heights of Intellectual Dishonesty

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