Litigators

Litigating While Expecting

Some people will underestimate you. You will underestimate you. But you've got this.

By Jillian L. McNeil  
on

A few small things I have learned over the past nine months (and counting).

Being a pregnant (and now a very obviously pregnant) litigator has somehow been harder, better, and downright weirder than I could have expected. Now that I am nearing the end of this experience, I can’t help but reflect back on a few things I wish I would have known from the beginning.

A quick caveat: by writing this post, I am merely hoping to share my own personal experiences on a topic that simply is not discussed with any frequency in our profession (at least as far as I have seen). Thus, any reference to “you” below is directed at my pre-pregnancy self, and not to anyone else. I am not attempting to make any universal conclusions about pregnancy and the practice of law, nor do I intend to make any claims about anyone else’s experience. So here it goes.

Scheduling — particularly in those first few months when you are trying to keep the whole pregnancy situation under wraps — will become one of the more challenging aspects of your job. In the first few months of my pregnancy, I had to schedule three trials, one for the week of my due date, one while I expected to be on maternity leave, and one immediately following my return. This advanced conversations with my boss, colleagues, and, in one case, a judge that I was maybe not quite ready for. The thought of it caused me to feel a lot of stress at the time, but it all ultimately worked out in the end.

Lawyers, clients, and even judges will suddenly ignore your boundaries and ask so many personal questions. I generally keep my professional and personal lives very separate. But that went out the window about four months ago when it became obvious to others that I was pregnant. At first, this felt frustrating to me, but when I realized that many were genuinely interested I became more open and accepting of the general pregnancy questions (when are you due, where are you delivering, are you having a boy or a girl, etc.). But I still maintained a few boundaries — no, random lawyer I’ve never met before walking down the hallway, I am not going to tell you what I plan to name my future child (even if I had been able to make that decision yet).

People will touch you. This is something I think almost all pregnant women deal with at some point. But it is particularly weird when your adversary in a contentious case who you have never particularly gotten along with reaches out and gives your stomach a little rub and a smile before you head in to argue a motion for summary judgment…

Chairs in most courtrooms are just plain mean. I cannot count the times I have become tangled in a too heavy to move courtroom chair (and some of those were from before I was pregnant). It has only gotten more difficult as my pregnancy progressed. Not only is my usual chair-to-table distance totally thrown off, but many courtroom chairs are so worn in that switching from sitting to standing without assistance becomes next to impossible.

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Stop wearing high heels earlier than you think is necessary. Your feet, back, and general sense of balance will thank you. (I clearly did not follow this piece of advance, resulting in moments that were less than graceful, to put it kindly).

You will have to give up some of the things you have been preparing for in some cases for years, and that will suck. While I knew this would inevitably need to happen, the actuality of temporarily transferring my cases (and trials) to my colleagues for the time I will be away has been the hardest aspect of this experience thus far. I know that my colleagues will do a fantastic job, but it can be so difficult to give up something you have put so much thought and energy into.

Some people will underestimate you. You will underestimate you. While I know the difficulties faced by my contemporaries and I are small compared to those faced by female litigators in the past, there are still some individuals who seem unable to hide their disdain for pregnant people in the work place. I will never forget walking into an appellate argument and hearing a whisper from a man in the viewing area stating, “Who is letting the pregnant lady do this argument?” In a way, my self-conscious side had been expecting this, but it was still a shock and took me a moment to recover. But recover I did, and I can say that it then felt amazing to stand up and argue and know that I did an excellent job. Now if only I could find that man to give him the decision deciding everything from that argument in my client’s favor…

You’ve got this. There were certainly moments in which I felt like I could not get through this pregnancy while living up to the demands of the job that I love. But I have learned that I can get through the struggles and find a balance. My approach to my day is absolutely different than it was before (hello early mornings in the office and mid-afternoon catnaps, goodbye 2 a.m. writing sessions), but, with the right support, which I know I am fortunate to have at my firm, it is more than doable. In fact, it has thus far been a pretty wonderful (albeit strange) experience.

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Jillian L McNeilJillianL. McNeil was an attorney at Balestriere Fariello, a trial and investigations law firm which represents clients in all aspects of complex commercial litigation and arbitration from pre-filing investigations to trial and appeals. You can reach firm partner John Balestriere at john.g.balestriere@balestrierefariello.com.

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