Government

John Dowd Gives Sharks The Finger

The former Trump attorney isn't pleased that he has to live every week like it's shark week.

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John Dowd’s middle finger (Screenshot from CNBC)

After the comedy of errors that was his representation of Donald Trump — an engagement that involved him conducting sensitive meetings in restaurants and telling his client that he’d end up in prison — John Dowd’s earned some rest and relaxation. Unfortunately, he’s not getting any because of all those sharks plaguing his quiet little beach community.

Dowd wrote into the Cape Cod Chronicle to call for a swift culling of the local seal population. While it may be de rigueur for Republican lawyers to club a baby seal or two from time to time, Dowd has a more pressing interest in mass seal slaughter: keeping the sharks away. Explaining that he used to swim in Oyster Pond twice a day, Dowd laments that the incursion of seals has forced him away because these seals are just bait for the sharks.

The seals need to be regularly harvested to stop the current problem and to end the era of the shark which is scaring visitors.

Where is Mayor Vaughn on this important issue!

I recently took a trip to Martha’s Vineyard. Newport, Block Island and Nantucket. They have no seal or shark problem.

Perhaps, but in Martha’s Vineyard a Trump lawyer would have to endure the sad life of a social pariah like Alan Dershowitz. On balance, vicious, man-eating sharks seem an improvement over hearing about Claus von Bülow for the millionth time over a marathon Mahjong session.

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Dowd concludes by calling for the end to “[t]he glorification of these dangerous predators.” Dude, I hear you! If I knew a self-admitting sexual predator with the ability to murder millions with the touch of a button, I’d not want to have them around either. But here we are, John.

Trump’s former lawyer John Dowd is very concerned . . . about sharks around Chatham [Boston Globe]
Letters to the Editor [Cape Cod Chronicle]

Earlier: Maybe Ty Cobb Just Doesn’t Get This Whole ‘Client Confidentiality’ Thing
Trump’s Lawyers Thought He’d Go To Prison And Other Stuff We’re Learning While The Rest Of You Watch This Show Hearing
Alan Dershowitz Is The Saddest Man In Martha’s Vineyard

HeadshotJoe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.

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