Small Law Firms

Don't Expect 2019 To Be A Perfect Year

Let’s remember that life isn’t perfect and we shouldn’t expect everything to happen the way we want it to.

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In the final days of 2018, my friends, colleagues, and the people I follow on social media posted their reflections for the year. Most of them shared their major life events, like getting married, getting promoted, winning a big case, traveling, or buying a new house or car. And they posted their new year’s resolutions for 2019 along with sharing some wise words. One would think they had a perfect year.

I have to keep reminding myself that someone’s social media posts reflect only an instantaneous snapshot of a person’s day. For example, a few weeks ago, I visited the city of Edmonton in Canada and I took a photo of the city’s legislative building beautifully decorated for the holidays. However, what the picture did not show was the freezing winter temperature and the 20 minutes of driving through snowy, slippery roads to get there.

People will seldom post about their bad days on social media. Sure, they may gripe about working an extra hour or the extra shift. Or they share the argument they had with their spouse about whether to cook Italian or Chinese food for dinner. Most of these complaints are first world problems.

But few people are going to share their major life catastrophes on Facebook or Twitter, like a divorce, their house being foreclosed upon, a firing, or some personal problem like an addiction. There’s no rule that forces someone to air their dirty laundry on social media. And there are legitimate reasons for not doing so. Talking about it can get them and other people in trouble. Or some opportunist might one day try to use it against them, usually by taking it out of context with no corroborating evidence. I tell my clients to delete their social media accounts while they are under a tax audit or while being pursued by a tax collection agency. But usually people keep bad news to themselves because they do not feel comfortable talking about it.

A blogger I respect recently posted about his divorce. It happened some time ago and the couple was able to keep it a secret for a while. But when the ex-spouse disclosed the news, it led to gossip, innuendos, and debate from his readers and people who came out of nowhere. However, his eventual response was sincere and thoughtful. He was also able to turn it into a teaching moment.

What surprised everyone (including myself) about the news was that the couple seemed to be living a good life and were happy, at least based on what they posted on their blog and social media sites. They seemed to agree to live their life a certain way and I thought that’s what kept their marriage together.

But people and relationships change over time and generally couples expect a divorce as much as they expect the Spanish Inquisition. When a marital relationship turns into a grind, eventually something is going to break.

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When all is said and done, we are more than what we post on our social media pages. What matters is what we are doing when we are not browsing Facebook or Twitter. Treasure the people who are good to you and cut those who do not give you the respect you deserve. Do what you think is right, even if it will upset the status quo. And be good to yourself as often as possible.

Let’s remember that life isn’t perfect and we shouldn’t expect everything to happen the way we want it to. Everyone has problems. Most of the time, we can keep them to ourselves without anyone noticing. Some are rich enough to pay to make their problems go away. And others can spin the story to make it sound positive. So as we enter 2019, instead of worrying about how others having a perfect year, we should focus more on making this year a happy and productive one.

Steven Chung is a tax attorney in Los Angeles, California. He helps people with basic tax planning and resolve tax disputes. He is also sympathetic to people with large student loans. He can be reached via email at sachimalbe@excite.com. Or you can connect with him on Twitter (@stevenchung) and connect with him on LinkedIn.

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