Morning Docket: 01.03.19

* R. Kelly threatens to sue Lifetime, a lawsuit that will be totally worth it if the judge has to say "don't pee on my leg and say it's raining." [TMZ] * Alex Van Der Zwaan's attorney, Laura Grossfield Birger, tapped to run the SDNY Criminal Division. That's some... curious optics right now. [Courthouse News Service] * The billionaire client that Boies Schiller is suing over unpaid fees has now alleged malpractice, which is a bold move considering BSF got him through multiple litigation scrapes. But this goes with the territory. I once had a holdout client claim malpractice when we'd gotten him acquitted of racketeering, so this move isn't entirely unexpected. [New York Law Journal] * It's not surprising that the Ninth Circuit has some serious concerns over the possibility that the government systematically lied to the courts, it's surprising that this isn't a universal concern of the federal judiciary. [The Recorder] * This round-up of the top in-house hires of December including Tesla's decision to turn off autopilot and hire a white-collar attorney to serve as general counsel. [Law360] * Cardinal says compensation for abuse victims is less important than avoiding "breaking" the Church. Dude, it's going public that abuse victims aren't as important as the Church that's doing all the "breaking" right now. [NBC News] * Key legal questions surrounding blockchain. [Coindesk]