Law Firm Partner Drops Rap Video About Class Actions

The best diss track aimed at the Chamber of Commerce you'll hear today.

Edelson PC Partner Ari Scharg

Who ever said that lawyers weren’t creative people? Oh, that’s right, everybody.

But maybe we’re all just overlooking the talent in our midst because we’re too busy billing hours and fielding client calls. The folks at Edelson PC have decided to lean into their creative talent and launched Edelson Creative, a platform to “produce and host creative content generated by the firm and its artistic partners.” No one has ever accused Edelson of not being creative — they hired an actor to screw with their summer class in what remains one of the great legal industry trolls of all time — now they’ve got a dedicated home for their work.

And they’ve kicked it off with a rap video that’s… super impressive.

The song was written and performed by Edelson partner Ari Scharg, with intake specialist Ayssette Muñoz providing additional vocals.

The song is called “Non-Compliant” which is also the name of Edelson’s new podcast, promising “an unconventional approach to exploring current and emerging issues relating to the law, sports, politics, and art.” The first episode features Vanderbilt Law School professor Brian Fitzpatrick explaining why class actions are actually the most conservative solution to police the marketplace.

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The lyrics for those who can’t watch right now are:

Ari:

Lawyers act like kings till we run up on they thrones
Caught em sleepin on they phones, snatch they rings up watch em fold
Watch em as they shiver when the freeze out never stop
Cooked our own beat cause none fresh enough to cop

They say we’re non-compliant but to be completely honest
Our defiance is a science and we’re here to start a riot
Effectuate change through our brain wave compartments
One holds the focus, one that holds explosives
One just got a note in it that says this firm the dopest
One asks [beep] what his legacy’s best hope is

Edelson PC man we might be
Like the new young Nick
Meets the new Rafey
Meets the new Big Prof
Meets the Kid Sydney
Meets Ben like Rich
Meets Ben like T
Meets me, on the street when I see [beep]
Meets Jay Beast, ain’t nobody setting 3’s like he, Blat

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Aya:

Don’t tell us what to do
And don’t tell us what to say
The only way we work with you
Is get the fuck out of our way

You don’t own us
Don’t try to change us in any way
You don’t own us
You’re one small move of a bigger play

Ari:

History repeats itself and this how it goes
Plaintiff lawyers hurt the class more than they clients know
When lawyers do their deals with fees the only goal
Ted Frank investigate then lawyers get exposed

While the Chamber spends on tort reform and spreads propaganda round
These credit monitoring deals are driving values down
After this we’ll prolly stand down and never flex again
Tell [beep] and [beep] that they might finally get a win

I’m just playin
I hope this hurts cause this is true shit
Wonder if my counterparts tell their fam the truth of it
Do their friends know they get paid to surreptitiously
Close hospitals in minority communities?

Well my fam do, and this is true
Instead of cops and robbers my kids play us and you
Maybe your excuse is that you have too much ambition
But now your dignity is on a milk box missing
Shox!!

Aya:

We’re young and we love to be young
We’re free and we love to be free
To live our life the way we want
To say and do whatever we please

You don’t own us
Don’t try to change us in any way
You don’t own us
You’re one small move of a bigger play

Earlier: This Firm Hired An Actor To Play The World’s Worst Summer Associate


HeadshotJoe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.