Adding An Extra Role While Facing A Pandemic
It’s completely normal to have feelings about the pandemic and the extra challenges you might be facing.
Ed. note: This is the latest installment in a series of posts on motherhood in the legal profession, in partnership with our friends at MothersEsquire. Welcome DawnMarie White back to our pages.
We’ve been thrown curve balls left and right for about two months now as we have adjusted to the COVID-19 pandemic. These sudden changes are stressful. In addition to the societal changes, many of us are also faced with the additional role of caring for and teaching our children during our work hours while managing our caseloads and the changes at work. Each of these issues (the pandemic, the closures, the changes at work, and the new role as a teacher) are overwhelming on their own. Now we are muddling through and seeking a magical combination that will work for our families and clients.
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As I’ve turned to social media to stay connected and find resources, I’ve seen a lot of messages on social media chastising and criticizing working moms for voicing the stress and struggle of this. It usually starts with moms expressing frustration or concerns about eLearning or providing other educational instruction to their children and then someone comments or posts a meme about how parents should be excited about some “downtime” with their kids instead of complaining. Those criticizing comments are not only unfair but also untrue. I’d love some downtime with my kid — especially the family vacation we had to cancel for spring break. We aren’t complaining about having to take care of our children and their education. We’re scrambling to make it all work — to be everything to everyone. We’re often Type-A perfectionists so we don’t accept anything but the best in the services we provide our clients, and we won’t accept our children receiving a subpar or nonexistent education for months while schools are closed. As we navigate how to fit full-time teacher into our full-time advocate schedules, we’re expressing our stress and reaching out to our communities for support and commiseration. To be criticized and chastised for that is completely unfair, and a mischaracterization of our words and who we are.
Lawyer moms juggling your deadlines while finding a way to make sure your child still receives educational time, I see you. I see you piecing together resources for educational time, making schedules, stocking your pantries for all-day snacking, searching for toilet paper and disinfectants, and figuring out ways to make sure tiny humans don’t invade your Zoom court hearings. I see you holding it together. But as we practice social distancing, don’t forget to stay connected and reach out to your community and supports. It’s not complaining, it’s taking care of yourself.
Lawyers are often leaders in their communities. Your clients and your communities need you. Your kids need you. You already know you must take care of yourself in order to give to others. Be a lifeline to another lawyer mom and remind her to not give into the feelings of being overwhelmed. Let her know that you see her. Share resources with each other (some of mine are below). But most importantly, take care of yourself so you can be there for everyone else. We’ll all make it through this. And, if you’re looking for a silver lining, remember that we’ll be able to remind our children of yet another sacrifice we made for them when they’re deciding which long-term care facility is best for us one day.
Mo Willems’s Lunch Doodles via Facebook Live every weekday at 1 p.m.
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McHarper Manor has art classes via Facebook Live every weekday at 1 p.m.
Atlantic White Shark Conservatory has a story/educational hour centered around sharks via Facebook Live every weekday at 10 a.m.
Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden has a daily animal chat via Facebook Live every day (Saturdays and Sundays, too!) at 3 p.m.
The San Diego Zoo has animal webcams via their website. You can have your child watch and make a log book of observations (Yay, science!).
Several authors are doing live readings. The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts has a short list of such readings.
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Libby Library App (You need a library card.), Audible, Amazon Prime Books, Overdrive, and Hoopla have e-books (some with narration) and audible books.
After graduating from IU Robert H. McKinney School of Law and opening her own solo practice, DawnMarie joined Emswiller, Williams, Noland & Clarke, LLC in 2019. She is a devoted wife and proud mom to her son, cat, and giant puppy. When she’s not focused on her clients, with her family, or volunteering in her community, she will likely be enjoying conversation at her book club, crocheting, practicing hot yoga, at the kickboxing gym, or eating cheesecake, or writing for MothersEsquire. She can be reached at [email protected].
