ATL Bracket Time: Elite Eight Shows Strength Of Cats, Sex

Our annual bracket competition features “Epic Zoom Fails” of the pandemic era and it… was pretty boring last round.

Indeed, the only upset was a 7-10 take down of India’s most embarrassing Zoom fail where a hapless attorney chowed down on camera while the nation’s Solicitor General watched and mocked him. Let’s quickly recap:

So what does the bracket look like now?

All right. Game on!

(1) Lawyer Tells Judge ‘I’m Not A Cat’ In The Best Zoom Court Mishap Yet vs. (8) Shocking Video Of Law School Professors Making Racist Comments Goes Viral: Unsurprisingly, the delightful cat filter disaster trounced the competition. Now we have our first major tonal clash. Was the more epic fail — however you choose to define it — the goofy court appearance or the gross display of racism embedded within the halls of a major law school? On the one hand, the law school story is much more substantively important, but on the other was it really a Zoom fail or just the inevitable application of karma?

(2) Jeffrey Toobin Makes A Great Poi–OH MY GOD, HIS DICK’S OUT!!! vs. (10) Lawyer: Requiring Me To Wear A Tie Is Egregious! Judge: Sir, You’re Wearing Pajamas.: I was a little shocked to see Toobin advance by the slimmest margin of the competition. Granted that was still a 62-38 romp, but the downfall of America’s most recognized legal commentator because he couldn’t be… ahem… “master of his own domain” for a work call seems like a lot bigger deal. But it’s all about matchups and the doctor calling in to court from surgery was a strong 15 seed. In any event, Toobin is now taking on our lone underdog victor from the first round — a benchslap for a tie-hating attorney.

(3) Supreme Court Oral Arguments Include Toilet Flush In World’s Greatest Metaphor vs. (6) Man Attends Zoom Court Hearing From His Victim’s Home, Gets Arrested: Another tonal clash. The Supreme Court kicked off the remote era with someone taking a field trip to the bathroom mid-argument. Contrast that with a frightening incidence of intimidation where an abuser tried to use virtual backgrounds to conceal the fact that he was right next to the victim during her testimony. Thankfully, the prosecutor managed to figure it out and send help. Funny or scary… that’s the question in this matchup.

(4) Yep, That’s A Lawyer Having Sex On Camera During A Hearing! vs. (5) Spicing Up Zoom Client Meeting With Oral Sex: There can be only one! Criminal law coitus or HOA meeting oral advocacy? You have full-on sex during a hearing about a drug gang and someone crawling under the table for what would otherwise have been the world’s most boring homeowners’ meeting.

Polls will stay open until Wednesday, March 31 at 9:00 a.m. Eastern.

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Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.