Sports

Cocky NCAA Lawyer Files Petition To Cancel Vasectomy Mayhem Trademark Registration

The NCAA gets might snippy about trademark dilution.

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The NCAA, which brings you March Madness and the Final Four, has filed a petition of cancellation with the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board to remove a registration owned by Virginia Urology Center, P.C. for the trademark “Vasectomy Mayhem.” It is one of the more ballsy intellectual property protection acts taken by the Association.

Douglas Masters of Loeb & Loeb filed the petition, which would certainly cause Bill Raftery to scream “Onions!” if he read the filing

The petition begins by highlighting that the NCAA has, since prior to August 13, 2019 (which is when Virginia Urology Center first filed its application to register Vasectomy Mayhem) used trademarks such as March Madness, March Mayhem, and other marks containing the synonyms Madness and Mayhem in connection with the March Madness Division I Men’s College Basketball Tournament. In fact, the NCAA has owned its March Mayhem trademark registration since July 2013 and has also received incontestibility status based on its longstanding continuous use of the mark. It was mainly used with Allstate promotions and advertisements, including participation by Dick Vitale, which is just a perfect tie to a vasectomy-related trademark case.

It is not altogether clear that the NCAA is still actively using the March Mayhem mark, but that did not prevent some inflammatory claims from being submitted as part of the petition. First, the NCAA acknowledges that Virginia Urology Center uses Vasectomy Mayhem to promote its medical services, which is really where the analysis should have ended and caused the Association to decide it was better to appropriate resources elsewhere. But then the petition goes on to say the following:

Registrant’s VASECTOMY MAYHEM mark is confusingly similar to the NCAA Marks, and continued registration and use by Registrant of VASECTOMY MAYHEM with the Registrant’s Services is likely to result in confusion, mistake or deception with Petitioner and/or the goods and services marketed in connection with the NCAA Marks, or in the belief that Registrant or its VASECTOMY MAYHEM services are in some way legitimately connected with, or sponsored, licensed or approved by, Petitioner.

The NCAA concludes that Virginia Urology Center’s use of Vasectomy Mayhem is likely to dilute the distinctive quality and reputation of the NCAA Marks. That is quite a theory. Who is being confused as to whether Vasectomy Mayhem has anything to do with the March Madness basketball tournament or that the NCAA may have anything to do with a urology center engaging in the business of providing vasectomies? Further, how would Virginia Urology Center’s use of Vasectomy Mayhem have any dilutive effect on the NCAA’s registered trademarks?

The NCAA is an easy target for a multitude of reasons, but this type of filing to cancel a trademark registration for Vasectomy Mayhem has to be near the top of the list. It just has such a hard time figuring out what it should spend its money on and which battles to fight. This war waged by the NCAA is a rather limp effort.

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Darren Heitner is the founder of Heitner Legal. He is the author of How to Play the Game: What Every Sports Attorney Needs to Know, published by the American Bar Association, and is an adjunct professor at the University of Florida Levin College of Law. You can reach him by email at heitner@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter at @DarrenHeitner.

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