Michael Cohen (Screenshot via Cameo)
It’s Michael Cohen here, former personal attorney and fixer to now thank God, you can say it with me, thank God out-of-office, and hopefully soon-to-be indicted and incarcerated, our former idiot-in-chief Donald J. Trump. I’m also the podcaster of Mea Culpa, as well as the author of the number-one New York Times bestseller Disloyal. …
[I hear] you’re very much into politics, and again, who isn’t? You’d have to be blind or deaf not to be into politics right now because no matter what you turn on … everything is all tied into politics. Because why? Because our former narcissistic sociopath, our former idiot-in-chief, this orange-crusted, bloviated asshole, has decided that he’s going to pit two sides against one another.
— Michael Cohen, former attorney to Donald Trump, in a “happy birthday” message filmed on Cameo that went a bit off kilter and devolved into an expose on Trumpism and politics. Trump, he states, is still “spitting in the eye of America, not on his own, because he’s incapable of doing anything on his own.” As for the new administration and the new attorney general, this is what Cohen says of their inquests into alleged Trumpworld crimes: “What the fuck are they doing? Nothing!” Cohen also name drops a few Biglaw firms while he’s at it.
Staci Zaretsky is a senior editor at Above the Law, where she’s worked since 2011. She’d love to hear from you, so please feel free to email her with any tips, questions, comments, or critiques. You can follow her on Twitter or connect with her on LinkedIn.