(by Gage Skidmore via Wikimedia)
The artist formerly known as “America’s Mayor” has traded losing nonsense legal challenges about the 2020 election for losing the television show The Masked Singer. The episode, which won’t air until March 9, sees Giuliani voted off first — presumably through the machinations of Dominion Voting Systems and the late Hugo Chávez. Judges Ken Jeong and Robin Thicke walked off stage after the reveal, presumably in protest that Giuliani’s epic singing talents went unappreciated.
Or maybe because he’s a loon pandering to violent insurrectionists… WHO CAN SAY?
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Deadline, which reported the story, claims that while Jeong and Thicke left in protest, “fellow judges Jenny McCarthy and Nicole Scherzinger… bantered with Giuliani, a controversial figure for pressing what is widely derided as a baseless claim that the 2020 presidential election was stolen from his client Donald Trump.” Well, if anyone knows “pressing what is widely derided as a baseless claim,” it’s Jenny McCarthy.
In all seriousness, while Giuliani earned an early exit from the program, he undoubtedly hopes he did more singing than Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, Giuliani’s former associates arrested by the FBI.
Oh well. Rudy’s singing career may be going the way of his legal career… and his political career… and his business career, but don’t worry buddy, there’s always Cameo.
It’s unknown what musical stylings Rudy got up to on the show, but here are some songs we hope we get to hear him try out:
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I Melt With You — Modern English
(Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
I’ll stop the world and melt with you, indeed. This post-punk classic would benefit from a soulful, haunting interpretation by the now thoroughly disgraced former U.S. Attorney.
(Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images)
There is a season to every purpose under heaven. Four seasons, in fact. Still, Giuliani lacks the chops to pull off a faithful cover. Maybe if he offered a slow, acoustic version — you know, something that radically alters it into something no one involved really expects.
Kissin’ Cousins — Elvis Presley
As a change of pace, maybe Giuliani could take on the King and sing this headlining song from an old musical film of the same name. New York… Broadway… Musicals… it all fits a certain kind of theme.
Apropos of nothing in particular, Rudy’s first wife was Regina Peruggi.
Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning) — Alan Jackson
(Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)
This song is about 9/11. Did you know Rudy was the mayor of New York on 9/11? He never mentions it.
(Photo by Karwai Tang/WireImage)
No commentary here. I just want to hear him do it.
Earlier: Rudy Giuliani Tries To Pay Mounting Legal Fees One Awkward Birthday Greeting At A Time
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news. Joe also serves as a Managing Director at RPN Executive Search.